JoeGoldberg2.0
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2026
- Posts
- 118
- Reputation
- 57
My mom got pregnant with me and she would tell my dad “this is gonna be my gay baby” among a bunch of other shit. My whole life she would tell me I was gay. And I was a good son so I would just go along with whatever she said. She wouldn’t let me hangout with guys or people outside of school the entire time I lived with her. She would say I was gay and I had anti social personality disorder when I was a baby. She’d say my brother was autistic, anything bad he did was my fault or my dad’s fault because I’d supposedly pressure him into it when he’s the older brother. He’s literally nt. he’s so normal and unbothered by everything that happened because he didn’t have to go through any of it because he was the good child and he could have anything he wanted. Same for our dads, our dad always liked him more. My mom would take away “food privileges” from the already little supposed privileges I’d have. The foods I were allowed to eat were: chicken noodle, ramen, hotdogs, Diet Coke, old bottled water that tasted like plastic. And I couldn’t eat any of my brother’s “food”. I could only eat right after school, and then before I went to sleep. She would constantly live stream everything. She would hit me and restrain me and yell at me constantly. She’d constantly blast podcasts and music on loud speakers all day. And my brother would just go to school and kickboxing and then he could go home and tell her to stop and she’d stop, and he’d play his vr or be on his phone. While after school I’d have to go home. She’d blast it all. And I’d beg her to just let it be quiet and she’d just tell me to shut up and go to my room. So I just played video games a lot to escape it. I had literally nothing. Just an Xbox. And she’d constantly pawn it to get drugs and stuff. She’d constantly burn incense that stunk up the whole apartment and seeped into my clothes and everything. She refused to fix anything and instead she’d just buy cheap shit off Amazon from china. All of my clothes were really shitty, and didn’t fit as they were hand me downs shrunken by her putting them in the bath tub and then drying them off in some fucking heat closet shit she bought from china for 20$ that just ruined all clothes especially my jeans. And she never bought me anything. But she’d constantly get my brother things. Those little bullshit awards in elementary my brother got like 3 times for “kindness” even though he’d bully me and beat the shit out of me and torment me at home and at school. She’d get him stuff, she got him a 3ds one time and I got an award at like the exact same time, and she said that “he’s been getting more than you, and moneys tight”. Like she’s not living off of my father’s child support. I was a really good son I’d follow every order and command. And I was always blamed for everything. I was constantly bullied at school bc of the smell of incense being “weed”. For me being white in a majority Mexican and islander area. And even the white kids would call me beaner and shit even though I’m white. I’d get bullied for being super skinny, and then when I was fat during covid. Everyone bullied me and made me what I am. I started going through puberty and I lost weight and got taller. I realized I wasn’t gay like my mom had been telling me and I realized I was straight. I started talking to a girl who went to my brothers school. She was 16. She’d teach me about things. One time we went to the park and she had me eat her out. And then she blocked me like a week later. And we haven’t talked since. I then became addicted to porn. And I turned myself bisexual and a bunch of other shit. I was repulsed by sex but I can’t stop myself and I just need it so bad and I need love so bad. We got bed bugs, and then my dad noticed, and then my grandma noticed, and suddenly everything was supposed to be good. And my dad constantly calling me a retard before that, and then afterwards is okay. Now everytime I do something wrong because my mom didn’t allow me to learn things it’s my fault. And my dad says I’m retarded and that I can’t do basic things and that I won’t be able to survive in the real world. My brother jokes about me being gay constantly. I get called a nazi at my school because I was slightly right wing last year. Little did they know isolating me even more and othering me now I’m a literal nazi. Oh yeah and my ex from last year at my school dated me for a week then supposedly broke up with me and then started dating another guy even though her and I were still dating. She said I forced her to kiss me. And called me a loser. Ugly. And a bunch of other things behind my back. And laughs at me whenever her or her friends see me in the hallway. So I guess I’m a terrible guy and everything is my fault because everything is always black and white. Oh and did I mention that my mom’s a schizophrenic Jew? And I’ve also never suffered sexism or racism or heterophobia or whatever. Or any oppression. Because I’m a straight white male. I’m human waist and the fat ugly retarded woke kids at my school think they’re better than me because of all these supposed truths that can be told just based on the color of my skin. My sexuality. And my gender. Also at the time I did stuff with a 16 year old I was 12. Do I just rope at this point? There is no point to life and I can’t save myself and society and everything just wants to see me fail.
