My Mom Called Me a Fat, Ugly Loser and Said the Least I Could Do Was Have a Good Personality

[rawr]

Almost three years ago my mom told me I was ugly and that part matters because she actually said it to me. I was 14, 5’6, and 360 pounds and I was depressed and didn’t want to live anymore. I hated everything about myself and I genuinely felt disgusting. After my mom had surgery and was really stressed we got into a fight and she told me I was ugly and that it matched my disgusting personality and hearing that from my own mom broke me. That moment is what started all of this and what made me want to ascend. I didn’t change because I loved myself, I changed because I hated who I was and never wanted to be that person again. Over time I grew more and eventually hit 6’2 and a half and that gave me hope for the first time so I decided to lose the weight. Before I was 6’2, during that process, I met a girl online and I’ve talked about her in an old thread before. I cared about her a lot but every time I looked at my body I would actually throw up. I couldn’t stand seeing myself. I felt like a fat pig and I believed my mom was right and that I didn’t deserve that girl. I lost the weight for her and to prove to my mom that I could change at least looks wise. The girl left anyway. After that all I cared about was ascending because I didn’t have anything else to live for. People started treating me better and even my mom did and now she says things like she’s happy I got tall or that I’m handsome and I hate it because no one loved me before but now that I’m 6’2 and 174 pounds everyone suddenly likes me. It still isn’t enough though. When I look in the mirror I don’t see what other people see and deep down I still feel like that same loser and I feel like I’m just wearing a different body now. That’s why I need to ascend more because stopping means facing my old self and I can’t do that. The irony is my mom says she wishes my personality was as good as the effort I put into my looks even though she’s a big reason this all started. I hate my old self and I never want to be him again and I want to ascend so hard that no one can recognize who I used to be.

dnr
"5'6 and 360 lbs" tales

 

[borderpatrol_05]

Almost three years ago my mom told me I was ugly and that part matters because she actually said it to me. I was 14, 5’6, and 360 pounds and I was depressed and didn’t want to live anymore. I hated everything about myself and I genuinely felt disgusting. After my mom had surgery and was really stressed we got into a fight and she told me I was ugly and that it matched my disgusting personality and hearing that from my own mom broke me. That moment is what started all of this and what made me want to ascend. I didn’t change because I loved myself, I changed because I hated who I was and never wanted to be that person again. Over time I grew more and eventually hit 6’2 and a half and that gave me hope for the first time so I decided to lose the weight. Before I was 6’2, during that process, I met a girl online and I’ve talked about her in an old thread before. I cared about her a lot but every time I looked at my body I would actually throw up. I couldn’t stand seeing myself. I felt like a fat pig and I believed my mom was right and that I didn’t deserve that girl. I lost the weight for her and to prove to my mom that I could change at least looks wise. The girl left anyway. After that all I cared about was ascending because I didn’t have anything else to live for. People started treating me better and even my mom did and now she says things like she’s happy I got tall or that I’m handsome and I hate it because no one loved me before but now that I’m 6’2 and 174 pounds everyone suddenly likes me. It still isn’t enough though. When I look in the mirror I don’t see what other people see and deep down I still feel like that same loser and I feel like I’m just wearing a different body now. That’s why I need to ascend more because stopping means facing my old self and I can’t do that. The irony is my mom says she wishes my personality was as good as the effort I put into my looks even though she’s a big reason this all started. I hate my old self and I never want to be him again and I want to ascend so hard that no one can recognize who I used to be.

my mom told me i was an error and she wished to not have me

 

[LTNUser]

my mom told me i was an error and she wished to not have me

Cut her off from your life when you grow up and go somewhere else and live alone