my only social interaction is from looksmax.org - I will not have enough looks to go outside until ~2030

[incel194012940]

I am a 20 years oldcel and DBDR patreon donator.

I talk irl but only when needed, so “sup, good how are you, yup, got it, alright, sure, that’s cool” are the only things I say on a typical week day. i haven’t had discord in 2 years. I haven’t had instagram, Snapchat, any social media for 3 years. The last friend I had was years ago. Either in late 2020 or early 2021. The only phone contacts I have are my mother, my manager at work, and some normie who gives me uni hw answers despite hating me because he’s a cuck.

I live with my family but I am not so close to them like some are where they are able to approach them for conversation or to spend time together eating dinner or on activities. We only speak in our ethnic language on practical matters. I don’t dislike them but if I had money I wouldn’t reach out. Often they just leave notes or use my brother as an intermediary because they are embarrassed that I have nothing as a 20 year oldcel.

If I want to have a conversation my best bet is to send pictures of myself to incels until someone gives out a “” reaction and rates me htn/chadlite, almost like a homosexual. I feel that urge only once every few months.
All my childhood friends distanced themselves from me by age 12, mostly through moving away. I am not non nt but I can’t fit in with normies largely because I was raised in my formative years by forums and YouTube.

Because in those formative years I was fat and subhuman, i wasn’t able to make connections with people who regarded me as an equal. I had to act like a cuck, overly smiling, jestering, being overly energetic etc. So I got a few social circles to kind of tolerate me in certain situations.
I was deeply ashamed by this because I was bluepilled and believed there was something wrong with my “confidence” or “personality” I just couldn’t grasp. I watched redpill videos about “how an alpha male versus a beta male acts while in the lunch line” and “why women don’t like you”.

In the 10th and 11th grades I got into self-improvement more seriously. I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer). None of this satisfied the itch I had for human connection at that time. Time flew and made us distant. I regressed to a state similar to my childhood. I suspect normally developed males don’t have much desire for “friends” -because they passed that milestone, similar to “teen love”.

life now is neither good nor bad. in ~2030, after my looksmaxxing is complete I will do what I can with what I have - the goal being so that in my old age the regret will not be as strong as pain of the back/joints and degenerative disease

 

[BrahminBoss]

I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer). None of this satisfied the itch I had for human connection at that time.

 

[blatonslatt]

you’ll be ok

 

[incel194012940]

you’ll be ok

kys normie I will mog you

 

[BrahminBoss]

I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer)

such a banger

 

[BrahminBoss]

Sanju

 

[iblamejews]

I am a 20 years oldcel and DBDR patreon donator.

I talk irl but only when needed, so “sup, good how are you, yup, got it, alright, sure, that’s cool” are the only things I say on a typical week day. i haven’t had discord in 2 years. I haven’t had instagram, Snapchat, any social media for 3 years. The last friend I had was years ago. Either in late 2020 or early 2021. The only phone contacts I have are my mother, my manager at work, and some normie who gives me uni hw answers despite hating me because he’s a cuck.

I live with my family but I am not so close to them like some are where they are able to approach them for conversation or to spend time together eating dinner or on activities. We only speak in our ethnic language on practical matters. I don’t dislike them but if I had money I wouldn’t reach out. Often they just leave notes or use my brother as an intermediary because they are embarrassed that I have nothing as a 20 year oldcel.

If I want to have a conversation my best bet is to send pictures of myself to incels until someone gives out a “” reaction and rates me htn/chadlite, almost like a homosexual. I feel that urge only once every few months.
All my childhood friends distanced themselves from me by age 12, mostly through moving away. I am not non nt but I can’t fit in with normies largely because I was raised in my formative years by forums and YouTube.

Because in those formative years I was fat and subhuman, i wasn’t able to make connections with people who regarded me as an equal. I had to act like a cuck, overly smiling, jestering, being overly energetic etc. So I got a few social circles to kind of tolerate me in certain situations.
I was deeply ashamed by this because I was bluepilled and believed there was something wrong with my “confidence” or “personality” I just couldn’t grasp. I watched redpill videos about “how an alpha male versus a beta male acts while in the lunch line” and “why women don’t like you”.

In the 10th and 11th grades I got into self-improvement more seriously. I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer). None of this satisfied the itch I had for human connection at that time. Time flew and made us distant. I regressed to a state similar to my childhood. I suspect normally developed males don’t have much desire for “friends” -because they passed that milestone, similar to “teen love”.

life now is neither good nor bad. in ~2030, after my looksmaxxing is complete I will do what I can with what I have - the goal being so that in my old age the regret will not be as strong as pain of the back/joints and degenerative disease

 

[<6PSLcel]

I am a 20 years oldcel and DBDR patreon donator.

I talk irl but only when needed, so “sup, good how are you, yup, got it, alright, sure, that’s cool” are the only things I say on a typical week day. i haven’t had discord in 2 years. I haven’t had instagram, Snapchat, any social media for 3 years. The last friend I had was years ago. Either in late 2020 or early 2021. The only phone contacts I have are my mother, my manager at work, and some normie who gives me uni hw answers despite hating me because he’s a cuck.

I live with my family but I am not so close to them like some are where they are able to approach them for conversation or to spend time together eating dinner or on activities. We only speak in our ethnic language on practical matters. I don’t dislike them but if I had money I wouldn’t reach out. Often they just leave notes or use my brother as an intermediary because they are embarrassed that I have nothing as a 20 year oldcel.

If I want to have a conversation my best bet is to send pictures of myself to incels until someone gives out a “” reaction and rates me htn/chadlite, almost like a homosexual. I feel that urge only once every few months.
All my childhood friends distanced themselves from me by age 12, mostly through moving away. I am not non nt but I can’t fit in with normies largely because I was raised in my formative years by forums and YouTube.

Because in those formative years I was fat and subhuman, i wasn’t able to make connections with people who regarded me as an equal. I had to act like a cuck, overly smiling, jestering, being overly energetic etc. So I got a few social circles to kind of tolerate me in certain situations.
I was deeply ashamed by this because I was bluepilled and believed there was something wrong with my “confidence” or “personality” I just couldn’t grasp. I watched redpill videos about “how an alpha male versus a beta male acts while in the lunch line” and “why women don’t like you”.

In the 10th and 11th grades I got into self-improvement more seriously. I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer). None of this satisfied the itch I had for human connection at that time. Time flew and made us distant. I regressed to a state similar to my childhood. I suspect normally developed males don’t have much desire for “friends” -because they passed that milestone, similar to “teen love”.

life now is neither good nor bad. in ~2030, after my looksmaxxing is complete I will do what I can with what I have - the goal being so that in my old age the regret will not be as strong as pain of the back/joints and degenerative disease

suifuel if 20yrs old Is considered old

 

[incel194012940]

suifuel if 20yrs old Is considered old

50% of life is determined at birth

75% by age 7

95% by age 18

 

[Bigbootylover45]

I am a 20 years oldcel and DBDR patreon donator.

I talk irl but only when needed, so “sup, good how are you, yup, got it, alright, sure, that’s cool” are the only things I say on a typical week day. i haven’t had discord in 2 years. I haven’t had instagram, Snapchat, any social media for 3 years. The last friend I had was years ago. Either in late 2020 or early 2021. The only phone contacts I have are my mother, my manager at work, and some normie who gives me uni hw answers despite hating me because he’s a cuck.

I live with my family but I am not so close to them like some are where they are able to approach them for conversation or to spend time together eating dinner or on activities. We only speak in our ethnic language on practical matters. I don’t dislike them but if I had money I wouldn’t reach out. Often they just leave notes or use my brother as an intermediary because they are embarrassed that I have nothing as a 20 year oldcel.

If I want to have a conversation my best bet is to send pictures of myself to incels until someone gives out a “” reaction and rates me htn/chadlite, almost like a homosexual. I feel that urge only once every few months.
All my childhood friends distanced themselves from me by age 12, mostly through moving away. I am not non nt but I can’t fit in with normies largely because I was raised in my formative years by forums and YouTube.

Because in those formative years I was fat and subhuman, i wasn’t able to make connections with people who regarded me as an equal. I had to act like a cuck, overly smiling, jestering, being overly energetic etc. So I got a few social circles to kind of tolerate me in certain situations.
I was deeply ashamed by this because I was bluepilled and believed there was something wrong with my “confidence” or “personality” I just couldn’t grasp. I watched redpill videos about “how an alpha male versus a beta male acts while in the lunch line” and “why women don’t like you”.

In the 10th and 11th grades I got into self-improvement more seriously. I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer). None of this satisfied the itch I had for human connection at that time. Time flew and made us distant. I regressed to a state similar to my childhood. I suspect normally developed males don’t have much desire for “friends” -because they passed that milestone, similar to “teen love”.

life now is neither good nor bad. in ~2030, after my looksmaxxing is complete I will do what I can with what I have - the goal being so that in my old age the regret will not be as strong as pain of the back/joints and degenerative disease

still better than rotting and roping man

 

[greycel]

Patrick Bateman Vibes

 

[romanstock]

I went for a walk around town today hoping to eye fuck girls but saw not a single young girl. Will never happen for me.

 

[greycel]

But seriosuly OP, I have gone through very similar stuff to you
I talked about it here:

Bullying and segregation is good for a young person's mind, so long as they aren't affected by it permanently, or convince themselves successfully they aren't.
The ideal scenario is to be bullied, and learn how to talk your way out of it over a period of time by conforming to the other person you're in the presence of. @Latinus is right, especially the second point. You'll have to adjust your approach to each individual person you come in contact with, because your "reputation" would be low amongst the entire year.

The benefit is that you'll learn how to talk to all types of people, and yet you'd still not fall into the herd.

I've noticed most teenagers when turning into adults lose that sense of creativity/imagination because they restrict their free thinking they've had from when they were children, by doing stuff they are being conditioned to do by society. By acting the way they are "meant to".
If during this time period, you live in your own world.. but on surface adjust yourself accordingly to every situation, not only will you master social skills, you'll most importantly retain that creativity you've had from a child, for your entire life.

I got bullied, so had to conform to different people accordingly. An agreeable approach with everyone I came into contact with. Any form of disagreeableness, and I'd be ridiculed for something that wasn't even remotely related to the subject matter. But I guess evolutionarily speaking, bullying is somewhat warranted given that it existed to return those who were treading the edges of social conduct, back to the herd. Anyways, the difference between me and you is that I didn't really let that detract from who I truly am. I kept "me" hidden.

I was deeply ashamed by this because I was bluepilled and believed there was something wrong with my “confidence” or “personality”

I had come to terms with the fact that different approaches in life are required for different situations, at an early age. Most kids are pampered growing up so they are oblivious to the need for a change in mentality according to stimulus. They keep on acting however they want. But when they get older, their range of acceptability tightens. A kid can yell "Bomb" in public; a 14 year old can as a boy-ish joke, with some accompanying stares; but a man cannot.
It doesn't mean that you are wrong is what I'm trying to get at. It's just the rules were slightly tighter for us.
Also you should think of it as a trade; you're trading your energy and time putting up a show, in exchange for learning social cues. Once I had talked with a group of people, I would move on to the next.. I went from being the most bullied kid to one of the only who could walk up to any group of people and mingle my way in.

Now I just ocassionally talk to some of my friends, once a month. Their idea of fun is getting together and getting drunk though. If you've seen any of my posts, you'd know exactly how I feel about that jfl.
But OP if you want to talk to someone we can chill, I like people like you and ElTruecel

 

[Schizo Tappy]

I am a 20 years oldcel and DBDR patreon donator.

I talk irl but only when needed, so “sup, good how are you, yup, got it, alright, sure, that’s cool” are the only things I say on a typical week day. i haven’t had discord in 2 years. I haven’t had instagram, Snapchat, any social media for 3 years. The last friend I had was years ago. Either in late 2020 or early 2021. The only phone contacts I have are my mother, my manager at work, and some normie who gives me uni hw answers despite hating me because he’s a cuck.

I live with my family but I am not so close to them like some are where they are able to approach them for conversation or to spend time together eating dinner or on activities. We only speak in our ethnic language on practical matters. I don’t dislike them but if I had money I wouldn’t reach out. Often they just leave notes or use my brother as an intermediary because they are embarrassed that I have nothing as a 20 year oldcel.

If I want to have a conversation my best bet is to send pictures of myself to incels until someone gives out a “” reaction and rates me htn/chadlite, almost like a homosexual. I feel that urge only once every few months.
All my childhood friends distanced themselves from me by age 12, mostly through moving away. I am not non nt but I can’t fit in with normies largely because I was raised in my formative years by forums and YouTube.

Because in those formative years I was fat and subhuman, i wasn’t able to make connections with people who regarded me as an equal. I had to act like a cuck, overly smiling, jestering, being overly energetic etc. So I got a few social circles to kind of tolerate me in certain situations.
I was deeply ashamed by this because I was bluepilled and believed there was something wrong with my “confidence” or “personality” I just couldn’t grasp. I watched redpill videos about “how an alpha male versus a beta male acts while in the lunch line” and “why women don’t like you”.

In the 10th and 11th grades I got into self-improvement more seriously. I lost weight and got to the looks threshold where I could play sports, hang out irl with people, get a girlfriend etc. This is where covid happened and I spent it with discord ghouls talking about cs go and the future of the white race (as a jestermaxxer). None of this satisfied the itch I had for human connection at that time. Time flew and made us distant. I regressed to a state similar to my childhood. I suspect normally developed males don’t have much desire for “friends” -because they passed that milestone, similar to “teen love”.

life now is neither good nor bad. in ~2030, after my looksmaxxing is complete I will do what I can with what I have - the goal being so that in my old age the regret will not be as strong as pain of the back/joints and degenerative disease

How is 20 old

 

[incel194012940]

How is 20 old

1.because life trajectory is 50% determined at birth, 75% determined by age 7, and 90+% determined by age 16
2. growth and peak physical + intellectual health passed and the body begins to slowly break down under the degenerative processes of aging
3. the majority of your memories, preferences and unconscious attitudes, etc have been formed by this age

 

[EggKing]

Return to discord brocel, we should re-create the old wheat waffles server

 

[schwanncel]

oldcel starts at 35+ unless you fuck over your aging and look wrinkled by 30, you are still biologically a teenager till mid 20's