My plan to fix my life

[Bewusst]

I’ve wasted enough time procrastinating and hiding from people. The only reasons my life is still so fucked up are my subhuman looks and especially my mental weaknesses, which have affected every single aspect of my life; my health, my relationships, financial situation, living conditions,
overall development etc.
I could have turned my life around long ago if only I weren’t so weak and inhibited and stood in my own way constantly, because of my hyperawareness. People keep telling me I look way too serious (and I’m only 24) . All I need is a little money to get the very necessary surgeries to fix the flaws that bother me on a daily basis. If I weren’t ashamed of my face anymore, I’d be able to utilize my full potential and finally live my life in peace and with dignity. I’m not looking for happiness, which is only a temporary condition even the most unhappy of us experience occasionally, but normalcy and getting rid of the 24/7 shame I’m experiencing due to the way I look. Until then, all I need is something to suppress my negative attitude and severe inhibitions in order to save enough money for my surgeries.

I have to confess that I’m drunk as fuck rn and you wouldn’t be able to comprehend anything I’m typing if it weren’t for autocorrect. Today I finally realized the only way to actually get my shit done is being drunk because it’s the only thing which takes away the paralyzing inhibitions and negativity that keep me from pursuing my goals so I’m willing to keep drinking until I’ve made enough money to finally get surgery and fix my looks and other problems for good. If this means risking becoming an alcoholic, I’m okay with that because the way I’ve lived my life until now has been nothing but suffering and getting done nothing and I know I wouldn’t need a single drop in the first place if I were content with how I look. All my life I’ve been dealing with the consequences of bad genes, subhuman looks, chronic disease, family problems, social deficiencies, poor living conditions etc. and I’m done with it. I’m ready to take action and do what’s necessary to get my fucking life under control. And alcohol enables me to overcome my inner boundaries temporarily, which I’m gonna use to my advantage to transform my fucked up life. The first step is looking for a job to make money for my surgeries. I know myself well enough to know I’ll be looking at the things I just wrote differently and find excuses to postpone or not follow my plans once I’ve sobered up so I will have to drink again and keep myself intoxicated in order to stay on track and finally achieve something. Not so much to become wasted and uncoordinated as fuck but just enough to control my inhibitions and negativity so I can get my shit done.

To quote myself, “your quality of life does not depend on your laycount or the number of friends you have but primarily on how you perceive yourself”

 

[Deleted member 1476]

good luck brobro

 

[Bewusst]

good luck brobro

Cheers!

 

[quakociaptockh]

dr

 

[gamma]

“your quality of life does not depend on your laycount or the number of friends you have but primarily on how you perceive yourself”

Sounds like cope

 

[geeohdee]

you got this brother, whatever you produce in your mind and thoughts will be presented in your reality

 

[Deleted member 6273]

That's obviously not sustainable for a long period, you have to find a way to deal with your inhibitions without being intoxicated 24/7, I doubt you can optimumly perform a job while being drunk you'll just end up fired.

 

[Deleted member 6273]

Sounds like cope

Nah that's based if you perception of yourself and your situation is positive you'll probably be happy just look at budhist monks who never get laid and live in solitude, on the other hand famous chads like Kurt Cobain are blowing their brains out

 

[Bewusst]

dr

Nobody forced you to so idc

 

[gamma]

Nah that's based if you perception of yourself and your situation is positive you'll probably be happy just look at budhist monks who never get laid and live in solitude, on the other hand famous chads like Kurt Cobain are blowing their brains out

Well cope can be a good thing
But thinking to be cool while others don't perceive you in that way is literally a coping mechanism

 

[Bewusst]

you got this brother, whatever you produce in your mind and thoughts will be presented in your reality

There’s def some truth to the law of attraction

 

[Bewusst]

That's obviously not sustainable for a long period, you have to find a way to deal with your inhibitions without being intoxicated 24/7, I doubt you can optimumly perform a job while being drunk you'll just end up fired.

That’s right but as I said, I don’t plan on getting wasted completely, just slightly intoxicated so my inhibitions lessen and I can function normally until I can afford my surgeries. Once I fixed my looks and am no longer ashamed of my face, my inhibitions would be gone anyway and I wouldn’t need to continue drinking regularly, unless I became physically dependent, which is a risk I’m willing to take, considering the shit I’ve gone through in my life

 

[.👽.]

Dn rd bro but i wish you good luck

 

[Bewusst]

Well cope can be a good thing
But thinking to be cool while others don't perceive you in that way is literally a coping mechanism

Who said I want to be cool? All I want is look normal and just improve my flaws to the point I‘m no longer ashamed of how I look. Being uncomfortable in your own skin constantly affects every aspect of your life negatively, even if others don’t share your view of yourself. If you perceive yourself as better, you will be able to perform better in general and your quality of life increases since your baseline stress levels drop

 

[Bewusst]

I need to pick up some beers now and look for job offers. It’s all up to my discipline now. I’ll be getting tired soon and have to start over tomorrow, get drunk again to destroy my excuses and defeatism once I’m sober

 

[geeohdee]

There’s def some truth to the law of attraction

Hundred percent, and acting upon those thoughts bring your wishes quicker

 

[studiocel]

There’s def some truth to the law of attraction

There is no law of attraction. There is only a law of action.

 

[Patient A]

Wrong thread. Sorry.

also I genuinely did not read a single word

 

[Bewusst]

There is no law of attraction. There is only a law of action.

My external circumstances always seemed to resonate wth my inner attitude. The worse I felt the worse the experiences and people I attracted. Whether this is due to subconcious communication/body language and the decisions I made in my current situation or something else idk but there def is sth to it. Call it what you want, the action you take when you feel hopeless and your life is shit may lead to results that are shit as well. And it can be hard to escape the vicuous cycle once you're in it deep enough.

For example: good-looking people attract other good-looking people whereas ugly people mostly attract ugly and fewer people

 

[Bewusst]

Wrong thread. Sorry.

also I genuinely did not read a single word

Okay, then just move along. Imagine commenting in every thread you're not interested in

 

[Patient A]

Okay, then just move along. Imagine commenting in every thread you're not interested in

I genuinely didn’t mean to post in your thread, I put my phone in my pocket to do something and picked it back up to reply to a thread but somehow it went onto your thread page

I then deleted/edited my message and you read it

 

[Deleted member 7901]

I need to pick up some beers now and look for job offers. It’s all up to my discipline now. I’ll be getting tired soon and have to start over tomorrow, get drunk again to destroy my excuses and defeatism once I’m sober

This is a very good idea, try to find some jobs in South Germany if you can, even very simple ones
maybe try to get some adderall for the productivity, and after you get it, stop taking it

 

[Bewusst]

This is a very good idea, try to find some jobs in South Germany if you can, even very simple ones
maybe try to get some adderall for the productivity, and after you get it, stop taking it

I need to work in my area, I can't just move (yet)

 

[Lars]

good luck man!! loving yourself is the first and most important step you can do

 

[Bewusst]

good luck man!! loving yourself is the first and most important step you can do

I do love myself but I'm extremely uncomfortable with the way I look

 

[HighIQcel]

sounds like you wrote about me, but the only difference I live in Ukraine and wages are kinda shit here. Gotta work my ass off ten times more to save up on looksmax procedures.

 

[Bewusst]

sounds like you wrote about me, but the only difference I live in Ukraine and wages are kinda shit here. Gotta work my ass off ten times more to save up on looksmax procedures.

Isn't surgery cheaper as well where you live?

 

[HighIQcel]

Isn't surgery cheaper as well where you live?

Depends. But I don't trust surgeons here that much tbh.

 

[Bewusst]

My current obstacle:

https://looksmax.org/threads/my-only-option-to-moneymax-for-surgeries-is-illicit-work.345536/

 

[mogstar]

 

[Adriana Lima]

View attachment 1131073

looks tired

 

[nastynas]

i feel how you feel exactly man, your a genuinely good dude.


keep us updated

 

[Deleted member 439]

didnt you suffer some severe health problems? Alcohol isnt a good way to cope imo.
there are many drugs which mimic the disinhibitory effect of alcohol without the side effects.

 

[Deleted member 12002]

Sounds like cope

Could be for some. But that's not always the case.

 

[Bewusst]

didnt you suffer some severe health problems? .

Yes, I still do unfortunately but no matter if I drink or not, my symptoms fluctuate and persist all the time anyway and drinking temporarily numbs some of the physical and even more so the psychological discomfort caused by my current situation and takes away a lot of anxiety/paranoia and overthinking.

there are many drugs which mimic the disinhibitory effect of alcohol without the side effects.

Such as? I have to be really careful with CNS depressants with my health condition. Phenibut, bupropion, benzodiazepines, gabapentinoids, GHB/GBL and barbiturates are even worse in terms of physical impairment/muscle relaxation and addiction potential

 

[PYT]

Stay safe bro you got this

 

[MarstonAlloy]

Reading this was inspirational. Just be sure that your talk equals your actions