S
Sub --0
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2025
- Posts
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This is my first actual post on .org. I know my account is pretty new but I have been blackpilled for a while. Apologies for the formatting.
I was homeschooled for my entire middle school years. I had no social skills and no concept of talking to girls or guys. I looked subhuman and fit the "ugly indian kid" stereotype. I had no social exposure at all to anyone, so I had no idea what to expect when I went to a real HS. Before actually attending the first year, I joined the soccer team and met this kid who would later become a friend. We wore both pretty similar people, but he was better looking than me. We both entered highschool, but we were treated differently. While my poor social skills were some of the problem, he wasnt much better either. I was constantly bullied and made fun of for my appearance, and looking back I realize the little jokes and gestures people made toward me were simply because they didnt take me seriously.
I had a crush on this girl who I couldnt talk to. I finally got the courage to start a conversation with her, but it was pretty obvious I was into her from how much I was blushing and stuttering. I would find out she went to my friends and told them it was pretty funny that I liked her and that she thought I was a joke. This was freshman year. I was raised in this fantasy world that girls cared about your personality and not about looks. Thats what made this more brutal. People dont even take you seriously if you are short and ugly. I cant stand threads on here talking about "Just fix your personality" and "Be confident" because unless you have been really ugly, you will never experience the look in someones eye of just disgust and lack of acknowledgement or care. Your "confidence" is seen as cockiness.
Sophomore year is when I thought going to the gym would help or something, even though I never could even commit to it. I still couldnt even talk to girls. Part of the reason is because of how they treated me, and this affects me to this day. I tend to just have a negative impression of how a girl might treat me even now because of how they treated me then. It would always be some dumbass comment to me saying something or some stupid giggle or just looking at me weird. They never took me seriously. Any of the jokes that would happen in the friend group always seemed to come to me. People pick on the weak link usually genetically.
Junior year was sort of complicated. I fell for this girl at my church that i thought was geniunely beautiful, and she is still the girl I am trying for. I understand that girls today tend to be hypergamous, but because of her upbringing she is different. I tried for months to talk to her but I couldnt bring myself to. After I finally did I got her number, just to find out her dad completely restricts guys from talking to her. I sort of gave up for a while and tried with this girl from my school. That was when things really came together for me
This girl from school seemed ok as a person. She would initiate conversation with me which gave me some impression. We would start talking more and more and park next to each other in the morning. During summer break, I tried connecting with her. She posted a book on her IG story, so I asked about it. She told me the book and what it was about, so I went out and bought the book just to talk to her about it, even though the book fucking sucked and it was a waste of money and time. I was traveling at the time so I was telling her about that as well. My friend texts me one day that in front of her friends and him she embarasses me and essentially says that I am a joke and that "She doesnt give a fuck" about anything that I was doing. This was 2 years ago. It clicked that all that really mattered was my face. If I was hot she would be writing about me in her journal and telling her friends how sweet and kind I was. Sure I might have been a little corny, but no one gives a fuck if you are a chad. WIthout delving into detail, I expressed to my mom, how important looks were in the way others, especially girls treat you, but she genuiely thinks its personality.
I have never had a girlfriend or even a girl express interest in me. It is the most brutal and painful feeling to see your friends happy and in relationships. One of my friends is getting fucking love letters from a girl and I would do so much to get even 1% of that. I have pretty much lost hope. I have done so much to softmax and im on my way to 13% BF. Reading some of the threads on here about their girl cheating on them gives me less hope. It was over before it began.
Sorry for the long read.
TLDR: Just be a chad
I was homeschooled for my entire middle school years. I had no social skills and no concept of talking to girls or guys. I looked subhuman and fit the "ugly indian kid" stereotype. I had no social exposure at all to anyone, so I had no idea what to expect when I went to a real HS. Before actually attending the first year, I joined the soccer team and met this kid who would later become a friend. We wore both pretty similar people, but he was better looking than me. We both entered highschool, but we were treated differently. While my poor social skills were some of the problem, he wasnt much better either. I was constantly bullied and made fun of for my appearance, and looking back I realize the little jokes and gestures people made toward me were simply because they didnt take me seriously.
I had a crush on this girl who I couldnt talk to. I finally got the courage to start a conversation with her, but it was pretty obvious I was into her from how much I was blushing and stuttering. I would find out she went to my friends and told them it was pretty funny that I liked her and that she thought I was a joke. This was freshman year. I was raised in this fantasy world that girls cared about your personality and not about looks. Thats what made this more brutal. People dont even take you seriously if you are short and ugly. I cant stand threads on here talking about "Just fix your personality" and "Be confident" because unless you have been really ugly, you will never experience the look in someones eye of just disgust and lack of acknowledgement or care. Your "confidence" is seen as cockiness.
Sophomore year is when I thought going to the gym would help or something, even though I never could even commit to it. I still couldnt even talk to girls. Part of the reason is because of how they treated me, and this affects me to this day. I tend to just have a negative impression of how a girl might treat me even now because of how they treated me then. It would always be some dumbass comment to me saying something or some stupid giggle or just looking at me weird. They never took me seriously. Any of the jokes that would happen in the friend group always seemed to come to me. People pick on the weak link usually genetically.
Junior year was sort of complicated. I fell for this girl at my church that i thought was geniunely beautiful, and she is still the girl I am trying for. I understand that girls today tend to be hypergamous, but because of her upbringing she is different. I tried for months to talk to her but I couldnt bring myself to. After I finally did I got her number, just to find out her dad completely restricts guys from talking to her. I sort of gave up for a while and tried with this girl from my school. That was when things really came together for me
This girl from school seemed ok as a person. She would initiate conversation with me which gave me some impression. We would start talking more and more and park next to each other in the morning. During summer break, I tried connecting with her. She posted a book on her IG story, so I asked about it. She told me the book and what it was about, so I went out and bought the book just to talk to her about it, even though the book fucking sucked and it was a waste of money and time. I was traveling at the time so I was telling her about that as well. My friend texts me one day that in front of her friends and him she embarasses me and essentially says that I am a joke and that "She doesnt give a fuck" about anything that I was doing. This was 2 years ago. It clicked that all that really mattered was my face. If I was hot she would be writing about me in her journal and telling her friends how sweet and kind I was. Sure I might have been a little corny, but no one gives a fuck if you are a chad. WIthout delving into detail, I expressed to my mom, how important looks were in the way others, especially girls treat you, but she genuiely thinks its personality.
I have never had a girlfriend or even a girl express interest in me. It is the most brutal and painful feeling to see your friends happy and in relationships. One of my friends is getting fucking love letters from a girl and I would do so much to get even 1% of that. I have pretty much lost hope. I have done so much to softmax and im on my way to 13% BF. Reading some of the threads on here about their girl cheating on them gives me less hope. It was over before it began.
Sorry for the long read.
TLDR: Just be a chad
