My wife asked me if we should get a sperm donor because iam short

[Deleted member 54208]

fucking brutal

 

[ElySioNs]

My wife said the same thing

 

[The Homelander]

You have a wife?

 

[Deleted member 54208]

You have a wife?

yes

 

[standardcel]

@the BULL can donate his sperm

 

[Deleted member 54208]

@the BULL can donate his sperm

what do you want with a schizo org poster

 

[Deleted member 19442]

This is the fking dream

 

[Deleted member 62811]

over for his 6'1 ass

btw tought this was amnesia. Copying PFP should be punished with torture

 

[Deleted member 48065]

This is the fking dream

I know right?

 

[Amnesia]

I used to masturbate on birds at the local park. Not a thing that I’m particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. First, you need to find an isolated spot so you don’t become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate.

Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you’re not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you you’re good an’ horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your Roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you.

Use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to the to gain their trust. Now you’re finally read to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle.

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cuming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It’s an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

 

[Deleted member 28398]

fucking brutal

View attachment 3225532

This shit always looks like it was written by some nigga typing up a selfmade cuck fantasy

Next up:

Caught wife fucking 6’8 chad because my short height wasn’t enough for her

JFL

 

[Deleted member 19442]

 

[Deleted member 54208]

over for his 6'1 ass

btw tought this was amnesia. Copying PFP should be punished with torture

 

[The Homelander]

You have a wife?

 

[Deleted member 54208]

You have a wife?

yes

 

[The Homelander]

Oh my bad I’m just a little schizophrenic

 

[Deleted member 54208]

Oh my bad I’m just a little schizophrenic

I see