trueedgar
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2025
- Posts
- 48
- Reputation
- 17
Quick backstory;
I'm 6'2, in college, decent looking. I walk into a room and get attention. From the outside, everything is solid. I've had a small glow up, 6'2 frame, and some presence. I don't feel invisible; I just feel socially rejected.
I'm able to meet people easily, in class, at work, at parties; that's never a problem. I just suck at keeping people. Friends don't stick, women don't stay. I end up feeling alone most days. For a long time, I told myself that I preferred to be alone, but that simply is not the truth. Because if I'm being real, I always distance myself, I am not a consistent person, and I hardly open up. Long story short, I pull back before anything gets real.
Getting attention is easy, but building connections is hard, and I have recently come to the conclusion that I've built my whole life off attention, whether it was saying some dumb shit as a kid, jestering, or glowing up out of nowhere.
I'm starting to realize that personality really does matter, but how does one even change this? Do I just mask my ND for the rest of my life? Idk if anyone feels this way as well, but this shit genuinely sucks as I see my NT friends living their best lives.
I'm 6'2, in college, decent looking. I walk into a room and get attention. From the outside, everything is solid. I've had a small glow up, 6'2 frame, and some presence. I don't feel invisible; I just feel socially rejected.
I'm able to meet people easily, in class, at work, at parties; that's never a problem. I just suck at keeping people. Friends don't stick, women don't stay. I end up feeling alone most days. For a long time, I told myself that I preferred to be alone, but that simply is not the truth. Because if I'm being real, I always distance myself, I am not a consistent person, and I hardly open up. Long story short, I pull back before anything gets real.
Getting attention is easy, but building connections is hard, and I have recently come to the conclusion that I've built my whole life off attention, whether it was saying some dumb shit as a kid, jestering, or glowing up out of nowhere.
I'm starting to realize that personality really does matter, but how does one even change this? Do I just mask my ND for the rest of my life? Idk if anyone feels this way as well, but this shit genuinely sucks as I see my NT friends living their best lives.
