Need some serious advice (long text)

[recessed62]

So I’ve been chatting to this girl for 3 months now. We aren’t officially together, like I haven’t asked her to be my gf yet but we js say that we’re together if ykyk. And tbh this topic is very deep for me bc, even tho I don’t know her that long she knows so much about me like I actually tell her nearly everything, even tho I’ve had some serious problems with opening up to anyone and have never done that, it’s been different with her. I told her multiple times that I love her and she also told me. She knows I’m nd and accepts it, she even tries her best to understand me. So she’s literally perfect, I don’t wanna go much into the details, but everything’s perfect about her. But lately I’ve been kind of loosing feeling and I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s my first ever relationship with someone and it just feels like I can’t do it. I think so much ahead and stress myself for no reason. I don’t even tell her anymore that I love her because the feelings feel different than before. And I don’t wanna lose her either so I’m not tryna break contact bc she’s literally all I’ve ever wished for and I know I’m gonna regret it deeply if I break contact. But I just got this weird feeling that I’d be better off without her.
Important to know is also that I’m a literal dreamer, so I dream everything, like not even joking atp. And I had a situationship I think exactly one year ago. And I was dreaming about that girl constantly even after we stopped talking, and the weird thing is I still dream about her to this day. I js dreamed abt her last night and as I woke up I suddenly didn’t want to talk to my gf anymore. I always told my gf that she’s my first love, but may I’ve been lying? Idk, was the other girl maybe my first love and I can’t let go? Please help me I need some serious advice.

 

[recessed62]

And btw I also told my gf how I feel and in general abt the whole situation (except abt the other girl) and she’s like really hurt rn. And don’t get me wrong, I usually don’t care abt that stuff, but she’s actually different and understanding and I don’t wanna hurt her in any kind of way but also I don’t want that to be the only reason we keep on being together.

 

[NorWayItsOver]

hu

So I’ve been chatting to this girl for 3 months now. We aren’t officially together, like I haven’t asked her to be my gf yet but we js say that we’re together if ykyk. And tbh this topic is very deep for me bc, even tho I don’t know her that long she knows so much about me like I actually tell her nearly everything, even tho I’ve had some serious problems with opening up to anyone and have never done that, it’s been different with her. I told her multiple times that I love her and she also told me. She knows I’m nd and accepts it, she even tries her best to understand me. So she’s literally perfect, I don’t wanna go much into the details, but everything’s perfect about her. But lately I’ve been kind of loosing feeling and I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s my first ever relationship with someone and it just feels like I can’t do it. I think so much ahead and stress myself for no reason. I don’t even tell her anymore that I love her because the feelings feel different than before. And I don’t wanna lose her either so I’m not tryna break contact bc she’s literally all I’ve ever wished for and I know I’m gonna regret it deeply if I break contact. But I just got this weird feeling that I’d be better off without her.
Important to know is also that I’m a literal dreamer, so I dream everything, like not even joking atp. And I had a situationship I think exactly one year ago. And I was dreaming about that girl constantly even after we stopped talking, and the weird thing is I still dream about her to this day. I js dreamed abt her last night and as I woke up I suddenly didn’t want to talk to my gf anymore. I always told my gf that she’s my first love, but may I’ve been lying? Idk, was the other girl maybe my first love and I can’t let go? Please help me I need some serious advice

just stay with you current girl and stop overthinking. If you want a long term with her you have to know that its usually for the early love to die down after a while

 

[recessed62]

hu

just stay with you current girl and stop overthinking. If you want a long term with her you have to know that its usually for the early love to die down after a while

U think so? Is it actually just a phase? Or won’t it get better? I’ve been thinking abt her like that for a week or two now

 

[witedudzz]

So I’ve been chatting to this girl for 3 months now. We aren’t officially together, like I haven’t asked her to be my gf yet but we js say that we’re together if ykyk. And tbh this topic is very deep for me bc, even tho I don’t know her that long she knows so much about me like I actually tell her nearly everything, even tho I’ve had some serious problems with opening up to anyone and have never done that, it’s been different with her. I told her multiple times that I love her and she also told me. She knows I’m nd and accepts it, she even tries her best to understand me. So she’s literally perfect, I don’t wanna go much into the details, but everything’s perfect about her. But lately I’ve been kind of loosing feeling and I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s my first ever relationship with someone and it just feels like I can’t do it. I think so much ahead and stress myself for no reason. I don’t even tell her anymore that I love her because the feelings feel different than before. And I don’t wanna lose her either so I’m not tryna break contact bc she’s literally all I’ve ever wished for and I know I’m gonna regret it deeply if I break contact. But I just got this weird feeling that I’d be better off without her.
Important to know is also that I’m a literal dreamer, so I dream everything, like not even joking atp. And I had a situationship I think exactly one year ago. And I was dreaming about that girl constantly even after we stopped talking, and the weird thing is I still dream about her to this day. I js dreamed abt her last night and as I woke up I suddenly didn’t want to talk to my gf anymore. I always told my gf that she’s my first love, but may I’ve been lying? Idk, was the other girl maybe my first love and I can’t let go? Please help me I need some serious advice.

dude you're getting very attached emotionally. u may wanna build other sources of happiness and interest in your life coz what it sounds like is your brain starting to produce less and less oxytocin as it gets used to her, and you feeling a lack of it, to the point where you're nearly addicted to her. don't pin oxy coz that's gonna make her leave you.

instead of thinking of what you could be, think of what you are and what you were. if you feel like your life improved, dw n enjoy. if you feel like there's positives and negatives that kinda balance out, you wanna look in your life as a whole, not jus the relationship. are u meeting new ppl, or does everyone you know talk to u abt this n it pisses you off. try to rationalize shit and forget abt the love you have for her. if the rational outcome is positive, gud for u, if it's negative, see if your love for her is enough or if u feel like it's too heavy and this shit's making you miserable/tired/smt else.

 

[NorWayItsOver]

U think so? Is it actually just a phase? Or won’t it get better? I’ve been thinking abt her like that for a week or two now

Its not a «phase», its just becoming casual. Like imagine it as a drug, at first it hits, then it after a while of constant exposure it dosent hit anymore. If you have a valid reason, take a break go on a camping trip or whatever for a week with no exposure and you will get a hir again (you don’t actually have to do it), but you see where im going with it?

 

[recessed62]

It’s not a «phase», it’s just becoming casual. Like imagine it as a drug, at first it hits, then it after a while of constant exposure it dosent hit anymore. If you have a valid reason, take a break go on a camping trip or whatever for a week with no exposure and you will get a hir again (you don’t actually have to do it), but you see where im going with it?

Yh I understand

 

[recessed62]

dude you're getting very attached emotionally. u may wanna build other sources of happiness and interest in your life coz what it sounds like is your brain starting to produce less and less oxytocin as it gets used to her, and you feeling a lack of it, to the point where you're nearly addicted to her. don't pin oxy coz that's gonna make her leave you.

instead of thinking of what you could be, think of what you are and what you were. if you feel like your life improved, dw n enjoy. if you feel like there's positives and negatives that kinda balance out, you wanna look in your life as a whole, not jus the relationship. are u meeting new ppl, or does everyone you know talk to u abt this n it pisses you off. try to rationalize shit and forget abt the love you have for her. if the rational outcome is positive, gud for u, if it's negative, see if your love for her is enough or if u feel like it's too heavy and this shit's making you miserable/tired/smt else.

I’ve been depressed before I met her for a long time and she genuinely made me happy again, especially at the beginning I felt like the happiest human being on earth but that feeling slowly fades and idk what to do.

 

[witedudzz]

I’ve been depressed before I met her for a long time and she genuinely made me happy again, especially at the beginning I felt like the happiest human being on earth but that feeling slowly fades and idk what to do.

it's apparenting itself a lot to what drug addicts describe when they talk abt them gettin addicted. if you're mentally fragile, try and tell her how you're feeling, so she also understands what she's dealing with . you don't want her to treat a fragile person (mentally) the same way she'd treat an nt. i'd recommend writing it out on paper several times before actually pulling her apart and explaining this to her. don't do drugs before explaining this coz if she hurts your feelings iit bouta be even worse. don't rush it and if needed go see a psychiatrist.

 

[zenmanic]

So I’ve been chatting to this girl for 3 months now. We aren’t officially together, like I haven’t asked her to be my gf yet but we js say that we’re together if ykyk. And tbh this topic is very deep for me bc, even tho I don’t know her that long she knows so much about me like I actually tell her nearly everything, even tho I’ve had some serious problems with opening up to anyone and have never done that, it’s been different with her. I told her multiple times that I love her and she also told me. She knows I’m nd and accepts it, she even tries her best to understand me. So she’s literally perfect, I don’t wanna go much into the details, but everything’s perfect about her. But lately I’ve been kind of loosing feeling and I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s my first ever relationship with someone and it just feels like I can’t do it. I think so much ahead and stress myself for no reason. I don’t even tell her anymore that I love her because the feelings feel different than before. And I don’t wanna lose her either so I’m not tryna break contact bc she’s literally all I’ve ever wished for and I know I’m gonna regret it deeply if I break contact. But I just got this weird feeling that I’d be better off without her.
Important to know is also that I’m a literal dreamer, so I dream everything, like not even joking atp. And I had a situationship I think exactly one year ago. And I was dreaming about that girl constantly even after we stopped talking, and the weird thing is I still dream about her to this day. I js dreamed abt her last night and as I woke up I suddenly didn’t want to talk to my gf anymore. I always told my gf that she’s my first love, but may I’ve been lying? Idk, was the other girl maybe my first love and I can’t let go? Please help me I need some serious advice.

Stop overthinking, you got a better option out there? If you leave her you’d have another girl quickly?

 

[recessed62]

it's apparenting itself a lot to what drug addicts describe when they talk abt them gettin addicted. if you're mentally fragile, try and tell her how you're feeling, so she also understands what she's dealing with . you don't want her to treat a fragile person (mentally) the same way she'd treat an nt. i'd recommend writing it out on paper several times before actually pulling her apart and explaining this to her. don't do drugs before explaining this coz if she hurts your feelings iit bouta be even worse. don't rush it and if needed go see a psychiatrist.

I think I’ve told her about a month ago that I’m still depressed and got that empty feeling in me even though she’s with me. So as I said I literally told her everything even the things I’ve never told a soul. And yeah I also have the feeling of being emotionally attached to her. That’s also why I don’t wanna break contact, cuz I may be feeling good for a week or two especially when the sun is out but Ik I’m gonna fall into the same deep rabbit hole again. I’m just so helpless rn and idk what to do. If I should stay or go or kms or disappear

 

[recessed62]

Stop overthinking, you got a better option out there? If you leave her you’d have another girl quickly?

I don’t wanna sleep around with random foids, I’ve never been like that. I’ve been a volcel for a long time cuz of the way I was raised. Not tryna flex but I think it wouldn’t be hard to slay a girl but that’s not what I’m looking for. I want real love and that’s what she offers but I’m starting to think that I’m not meant to experience smth like that.

 

[witedudzz]

I think I’ve told her about a month ago that I’m still depressed and got that empty feeling in me even though she’s with me. So as I said I literally told her everything even the things I’ve never told a soul. And yeah I also have the feeling of being emotionally attached to her. That’s also why I don’t wanna break contact, cuz I may be feeling good for a week or two especially when the sun is out but Ik I’m gonna fall into the same deep rabbit hole again. I’m just so helpless rn and idk what to do. If I should stay or go or kms or disappear

don't kys, that doesn't solve shit. if you ever feel like your life isn't worth living, try out an extreme sport n break a world record or die.

if you have any friends you feel like you can trust, take them out in a quiet place like a forest or a beach to talk to them abt it. try n talk to a pro who'll get you to understand why you like her. try and make a list of everything that you would miss if she were to go away, just so you know what you're going to drop from if she ever leaves you. that way you know if youre falling from 10 feet or 20 (emotionally) when she drops you.

if u rlly thinkin abt killing ys, go see a therapist o someone irl. talking your feelings is much more useful than thinking abt them. that's prob gonna be the most i can do unless you tell me everything u like abt her, that makes you feel good.

we can move to pm if u want

 

[recessed62]

don't kys, that doesn't solve shit. if you ever feel like your life isn't worth living, try out an extreme sport n break a world record or die.

if you have any friends you feel like you can trust, take them out in a quiet place like a forest or a beach to talk to them abt it. try n talk to a pro who'll get you to understand why you like her. try and make a list of everything that you would miss if she were to go away, just so you know what you're going to drop from if she ever leaves you. that way you know if youre falling from 10 feet or 20 (emotionally) when she drops you.

if u rlly thinkin abt killing ys, go see a therapist o someone irl. talking your feelings is much more useful than thinking abt them. that's prob gonna be the most i can do unless you tell me everything u like abt her, that makes you feel good.

we can move to pm if u want

Genuinely thank you so much bud, im definitely gon take ur advice and lyk

 

[zenmanic]

I don’t wanna sleep around with random foids, I’ve never been like that. I’ve been a volcel for a long time cuz of the way I was raised. Not tryna flex but I think it wouldn’t be hard to slay a girl but that’s not what I’m looking for. I want real love and that’s what she offers but I’m starting to think that I’m not meant to experience smth like that.

No one said nothing anbout sleeping with random foids, bro if she loves you stay with her then. Also rep my responses cmon.