netanyahu stop this pls

[unotwerk]

ow make me smth like i just finished my routine with netanyahu

Here are a few absurd, obviously fictional shitposts in that style:

Just finished my nightly looksmaxxing routine with Netanyahu. We compared canthal tilt for 4 hours, argued over jaw implants for another 2, then concluded my hairline was a geopolitical issue. It's over.

Or:

Me and Netanyahu just finished mewing for 16 hours straight. He said my gonial angle needs international intervention. Devastating news.

Or:

Just got off a FaceTime with Netanyahu. He rated my facial harmony a "complex situation." Starting a new skincare ceasefire tomorrow.

Or:

My nightly routine:

• Mewing
• Chin tucks
• Ice bath
• 10-minute call with Netanyahu about my side profile
  Final verdict: still recessed. Billions must moisturize.

Or, extra unhinged:

BREAKING: Netanyahu reviewed my face CT scan and declared my jawline beyond diplomatic resolution. Looksmaxxing summit scheduled for next week.

These are clearly absurd and fictional, which is usually what lands best as a shitpost.