Neurodivergence is a facecard wasted

[tokyo01010]

Im autisitic and i have bad social anxiety with girls, im pretty good looking and i know that because i get attention from girls from time to time, i've had a girl obsess over me simply because of my looks, and i've had girls reach out to my own friends by means of getting my snapchat etc. I've recently started drinking and going out. Last week i was out with some friends, i was fairly drunk and high on weed at the same time (which also nerfed my social abilities) and this girls approaches me talking about how handsome i am, she claimed i could've been a model and was basically complementing me like nothing i've ever heard. But my autistic and socially anxious ass cant handle taking all this so i end up ending the convo and walking back to my friends. After the first interaction she sees me again and gets ahold of me to talk more. She basically does some small talk and asks me if im "looking for someone" obviously asking me if im looking for girls, which my autistic ass didn't understand and i basically rejected her. Im definetly not crossfading at the club again, it partially made me stupid. But my point is, if you are autistic enough like me, it doesn't matter how good you look, because this social anxiety is killing me, i am 20 and i haven't done anything with a girl despite being hit on by numerous girls. A lot of people in this community falsely claim being autistic and underestimate how much of a nerf it actually is, because i am literally incapable of approaching a girl by myself, and the times where i get approached, i can't manage not to end it early because i can't handle interracting with girls. It makes me so uncomfortable and makes me lose hope. Again i was high on weed in this example as i said but i still feel almost as horrible every other time.

Tldr: as a REAL autist with social anxiety, i can't even get with a single girl even though i look good to where they approach me first.

dnr

 

[mefrom]

dnr

Great dude enjoy your rep forumcel

 

[Chaotropic]

Im autisitic and i have bad social anxiety with girls, im pretty good looking and i know that because i get attention from girls from time to time, i've had a girl obsess over me simply because of my looks, and i've had girls reach out to my own friends by means of getting my snapchat etc. I've recently started drinking and going out. Last week i was out with some friends, i was fairly drunk and high on weed at the same time (which also nerfed my social abilities) and this girls approaches me talking about how handsome i am, she claimed i could've been a model and was basically complementing me like nothing i've ever heard. But my autistic and socially anxious ass cant handle taking all this so i end up ending the convo and walking back to my friends. After the first interaction she sees me again and gets ahold of me to talk more. She basically does some small talk and asks me if im "looking for someone" obviously asking me if im looking for girls, which my autistic ass didn't understand and i basically rejected her. Im definetly not crossfading at the club again, it partially made me stupid. But my point is, if you are autistic enough like me, it doesn't matter how good you look, because this social anxiety is killing me, i am 20 and i haven't done anything with a girl despite being hit on by numerous girls. A lot of people in this community falsely claim being autistic and underestimate how much of a nerf it actually is, because i am literally incapable of approaching a girl by myself, and the times where i get approached, i can't manage not to end it early because i can't handle interracting with girls. It makes me so uncomfortable and makes me lose hope. Again i was high on weed in this example as i said but i still feel almost as horrible every other time.

Tldr: as a REAL autist with social anxiety, i can't even get with a single girl even though i look good to where they approach me first.

Social anxiety is not real. It is only a trained response from previous interactions. If this isn’t a larp and you actually get that response then you will relax after a couple more times of this happening. I belive autism can be real but if you truly want to move past this then it is in your full ability to mask and learn social cues that come naturally for most.

 

[mefrom]

Social anxiety is not real. It is only a trained response from previous interactions. If this isn’t a larp and you actually get that response then you will relax after a couple more times of this happening. I belive autism can be real but if you truly want to move past this then it is in your full ability to mask and learn social cues that come naturally for most.

Uh not to be that guy but social anxiety and autism is very real. And it feels like hell being hit on while my body is essencially entering fight or flight mode without me being able to stop it, my brain forces me to walk away like a retard because i dont know what to do. I really wish it would feel natural talking to strangers but thats not the reality. When i talk to strangers i literally feel like im playing a character and i dont even feel like myself anymore, then my mind is racing thinking of what to say and reply with etc in order to seem like the conversation feels "natural" to me. The only way personally i've been able to overcome social anxiety is by having been with someone so long to the point where they aren't strangers anymore, thats when i am actually able to feel like myself when talking. Its a long hard process to go through but it is possible, but with a girl hitting on me, i dont nearly have enough time to get comfortable, and thats when my brain refuses to give me any option other than walk away because of the crippling anxiety.

 

[introvertedextrover]

dnr, if this is about autism ruining your ability to speak to women this is total BS, in my experience im very high inhib and ND and women fucking love it. I js say whats on my mind and they listen and cope and laugh and the conversation flows and when it goes dead it goes dead i dont try to add then they spark up another topic and i end up yabbaling about some shit on my self and make everything about me which i try to avoid but it happens, you gotta be able to switch from letting them yabble to you yabble so they know your not simping women like being abused ive realised. ethier this or its cuz im 6"3

 

[mefrom]

dnr, if this is about autism ruining your ability to speak to women this is total BS, in my experience im very high inhib and ND and women fucking love it. I js say whats on my mind and they listen and cope and laugh and the conversation flows and when it goes dead it goes dead i dont try to add then they spark up another topic and i end up yabbaling about some shit on my self and make everything about me which i try to avoid but it happens, you gotta be able to switch from letting them yabble to you yabble so they know your not simping women like being abused ive realised. ethier this or its cuz im 6"3

It could have been like this for me too if i didn't have severe social anxiety. Not all autists work the same way and for most of us what you describe simply isn't possible.

 

[mefrom]

dnr, if this is about autism ruining your ability to speak to women this is total BS, in my experience im very high inhib and ND and women fucking love it. I js say whats on my mind and they listen and cope and laugh and the conversation flows and when it goes dead it goes dead i dont try to add then they spark up another topic and i end up yabbaling about some shit on my self and make everything about me which i try to avoid but it happens, you gotta be able to switch from letting them yabble to you yabble so they know your not simping women like being abused ive realised. ethier this or its cuz im 6"3

And if you argue social anxiety doesnt have anything to do with autism, its false. Because 50% of autists are socially anxious compared to around 10% for non autistic people. It is simply one of the symptoms