Never been happy never will be

chestermador

chestermador

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My inability to be happy or express positivity without looking like a creep or fake smiler leads my peers and onlookers to have very apparent distain for me. I have the unfortunate combination of a narrow mouth and negative mindset which are both things I really never had control over. Every time I look in the mirror my mood worsens so I could only imagine what a random who isn’t used to my appearance or understanding of the circumstances thinks of me. The times when I get the most bitter about it is when I’m around my family or “friends” when I’m supposed to be the most uplifted and positive but I look like I’m sulking or going to attack somebody. What woman would ever want to be with somebody like that? I see these fat piece of shit slobs grinning ear to ear as if they are mocking me, I would do anything to feel half what these obese slugs feel by eating. What’s worse is when these people I envy for being happy also have a girl with them and I am in disbelief every single time. It’s so obvious that this is genetic and I’ve always held resentment for my parents being so unaware of how I feel and the childhood they gave me. The absolute worst of it is knowing that I am average joe both physically and iq wise, visibly surpassed in some way by everyone around me. no amount of surgeries or drugs could move the needle for me and I will forever be alone
 
Dnr
 
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You mean you weren't happy in 2018?
 
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sounds pretty introspective, so you cant be that low iq
 
  • Hmm...
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You mean you weren't happy in 2018?
i was being forced to play sports by my parents, wasting away any free time I had doing something I never enjoyed just to quit and regret everything
 
My inability to be happy or express positivity without looking like a creep or fake smiler leads my peers and onlookers to have very apparent distain for me. I have the unfortunate combination of a narrow mouth and negative mindset which are both things I really never had control over. Every time I look in the mirror my mood worsens so I could only imagine what a random who isn’t used to my appearance or understanding of the circumstances thinks of me. The times when I get the most bitter about it is when I’m around my family or “friends” when I’m supposed to be the most uplifted and positive but I look like I’m sulking or going to attack somebody. What woman would ever want to be with somebody like that? I see these fat piece of shit slobs grinning ear to ear as if they are mocking me, I would do anything to feel half what these obese slugs feel by eating. What’s worse is when these people I envy for being happy also have a girl with them and I am in disbelief every single time. It’s so obvious that this is genetic and I’ve always held resentment for my parents being so unaware of how I feel and the childhood they gave me. The absolute worst of it is knowing that I am average joe both physically and iq wise, visibly surpassed in some way by everyone around me. no amount of surgeries or drugs could move the needle for me and I will forever be alone
Did read, I would say I know your pain ,but I'd be lying. As much pain as I have felt in my life, I probably know nothing of your struggle, and I will never know, no one will. You must come to terms with the fact that you and your struggles are alone in this world, that you will never fit in like your peers do. You must realize this and let go, embrace the absurdity of it all and live your one and only life the way you see fit, only then will you be free and dare I even say happy.
 
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Same.
 
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Dnr take antidepressants
 
Did read, I would say I know your pain ,but I'd be lying. As much pain as I have felt in my life, I probably know nothing of your struggle, and I will never know, no one will. You must come to terms with the fact that you and your struggles are alone in this world, that you will never fit in like your peers do. You must realize this and let go, embrace the absurdity of it all and live your one and only life the way you see fit, only then will you be free and dare I even say happy.
Thank you, I think this is the only reasonable way I can cope going forward if I don’t want it to continue hindering my life
 
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Reactions: FuarkistaniNational

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