BigJimsWornOutTires
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January 1, 1968
Memphis, Tennessee
The loud explosion of the New Years' celebration echoed through the window of my apartment overlooking the downtown area. Moments prior, the crowd outside counted together in perfect harmony. "5...4...3....2...Happy New Year!"
Ugh. I felt. Just another day for me. "Fuck!" A female voice bellowed from my bathroom. "You came inside me!" Ugh. And so it begins, I assured myself.
"Can you run to the store and get some more beers?" I shouted back.
"Oh, hell no!" She said while in motion to my vicinity. "You are not going to use the go to the store excuse so you can lock me out and pretend you don't know me and call the police. Not today!"
Ugh, boogers. The ominous warning began fondling my internal scheme.
"IF! And that's a big IF!" She said and began pacing the living room in her white panties while still topless. "If I'm pregnant, don't worry, Mister Big Jim! You won't hear from me again."
Ugh, close one...sweet.
"But! And that's with a capital B." She turned quickly to my view then slapped her butt like a weirdo. "But if I'm not, I'll introduce you to my friend, Mandy."
"Why would that matter if you're preggy or not for me to meet her?"
"Because I'm not fucking you and her while I get fatter and she stays skinny."
"Then I'll knock her up too."
Kelly and Mandy tied the knot five years later and were the first lesbians wedded in Memphis. They both had a love child of mine. I wanted to name them Adolf and Hitler. But Kelly insisted I stay out of parenting, and Mandy expressed, "That's not even funny." She was black and the offspring a girl.
Memphis, Tennessee
The loud explosion of the New Years' celebration echoed through the window of my apartment overlooking the downtown area. Moments prior, the crowd outside counted together in perfect harmony. "5...4...3....2...Happy New Year!"
Ugh. I felt. Just another day for me. "Fuck!" A female voice bellowed from my bathroom. "You came inside me!" Ugh. And so it begins, I assured myself.
"Can you run to the store and get some more beers?" I shouted back.
"Oh, hell no!" She said while in motion to my vicinity. "You are not going to use the go to the store excuse so you can lock me out and pretend you don't know me and call the police. Not today!"
Ugh, boogers. The ominous warning began fondling my internal scheme.
"IF! And that's a big IF!" She said and began pacing the living room in her white panties while still topless. "If I'm pregnant, don't worry, Mister Big Jim! You won't hear from me again."
Ugh, close one...sweet.
"But! And that's with a capital B." She turned quickly to my view then slapped her butt like a weirdo. "But if I'm not, I'll introduce you to my friend, Mandy."
"Why would that matter if you're preggy or not for me to meet her?"
"Because I'm not fucking you and her while I get fatter and she stays skinny."
"Then I'll knock her up too."
Kelly and Mandy tied the knot five years later and were the first lesbians wedded in Memphis. They both had a love child of mine. I wanted to name them Adolf and Hitler. But Kelly insisted I stay out of parenting, and Mandy expressed, "That's not even funny." She was black and the offspring a girl.
