O
orz
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2026
- Posts
- 46
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- 26
To some, this may seem obvious. But if you spend enough time in desperation, it can be easy to forget.
For a lot of us here, the struggle is not just getting girls, it’s getting what we want out of life and relationships without feeling like we have to beg for it. Looking back, I realize I’ve spent a lot of time in a scarcity mindset. My self-esteem was low enough that any attention I received felt rare, so I’d get attached fast and tolerate way more than I should have.
In two different relationships from sophomore to junior year, I let myself get disrespected repeatedly. Sometimes it was me putting exponentially more effort in while she did the bare minimum, other times it was the constant feeling that I was trying to “earn” basic respect.
I’ve noticed that when people start recognizing this pattern, the most common reaction is to blame women or society, and say things like women are entitled now. While this may be partially true, it really is just cope. To be transparent, I felt this way too, initially. But the more I’ve reflected, the more I’ve realized that it’s my fault entirely for letting situations like this even happen.
When you pedestalize someone, even subconsciously, you give them the reassurance that they can take advantage of you. That dynamic might feel exciting at first because you’re chasing validation, which I did get initially, but over time it becomes draining and humiliating.
I’m posting this because I think a lot of us have/will fall into the same trap. Thoughts?
For a lot of us here, the struggle is not just getting girls, it’s getting what we want out of life and relationships without feeling like we have to beg for it. Looking back, I realize I’ve spent a lot of time in a scarcity mindset. My self-esteem was low enough that any attention I received felt rare, so I’d get attached fast and tolerate way more than I should have.
In two different relationships from sophomore to junior year, I let myself get disrespected repeatedly. Sometimes it was me putting exponentially more effort in while she did the bare minimum, other times it was the constant feeling that I was trying to “earn” basic respect.
I’ve noticed that when people start recognizing this pattern, the most common reaction is to blame women or society, and say things like women are entitled now. While this may be partially true, it really is just cope. To be transparent, I felt this way too, initially. But the more I’ve reflected, the more I’ve realized that it’s my fault entirely for letting situations like this even happen.
When you pedestalize someone, even subconsciously, you give them the reassurance that they can take advantage of you. That dynamic might feel exciting at first because you’re chasing validation, which I did get initially, but over time it becomes draining and humiliating.
I’m posting this because I think a lot of us have/will fall into the same trap. Thoughts?
