online dating makes me realise how impossible it is finding the "one" person in real life

[wollet2]

dating apps and internet make it infinite easier to find the "one" if it exists. not the perfect person for you but close to 99% . by the way i have never felt a girl came even close to this and ive talked with so many girls

now imagine how hard it would be to meet and have conversations with all these girls in real life to find out that you dont match, like practically.

in real life you would just stick with whatever came to you and waste ur time, but online you move to sth else quickly

 

[wollet2]

@Guba do you agree bro?

 

[wollet2]

of course you will probably never find the "one" if you dont have abundance of options

online makes going through ur options and seeing if they are for you much easier

 

[Deleted member 21735]

there is no "one", there is nothing, we are gonna die alone

 

[wollet2]

there is no "one", there is nothing, we are gonna die alone

i know

im talking theoretically

 

[wollet2]

i just forgot to mention in op the countless times ive talked with a girl that seemed my type only to find later on that she is nothing like the idea i had in my head

so many times

irl not only you would not find the person that "appeared" like your type but in the case you did for ONE of them, you would waste so much time realising she is not what u expected

 

[Deleted member 6573]

Nobody wants to admit this but online dating is by far the most efficient way of meeting new women. There is nowhere you can go through so many women so efficiently as on Online dating.

 

[whitepillcope]

When I ask women about their one true love, they always say, "Gigachad only."

 

[wollet2]

Nobody wants to admit this but online dating is by far the most efficient way of meeting new women. There is nowhere you can go through so many women so efficiently as on Online dating.

having these many options and many of them similar in personalities made me feel a lot numb and disconnected in a way

i ll say that someone's interests and personality are heavily devalued - disrespected in dating apps, maybe thats because i havent met them in person idk

 

[the BULL]

having these many options and many of them similar in personalities made me feel a lot numb and disconnected in a way

i ll say that someone's interests and personality are heavily devalued - disrespected in dating apps, maybe thats because i havent met them in person idk

All women's hobbies are partying dresses make up traveling and netflix

 

[wollet2]

All women's hobbies are partying dresses make up traveling and netflix

yeah most of their hobbies are very incompatible with me

in tinder usually i talked the most with girls that had "horror movies", "anime" , "league of legends", "art" in their interests

one girl i talked with told me about some weird animes with funny names i had no clue abt and that was attractive but later on told me i creeped her out and we agreed on stop talking. she also liked harry potter and marvel a lot which is kinda mid to me and didnt like horror

 

[the BULL]

yeah most of their hobbies are very incompatible with me

in tinder usually i talked the most with girls that had "horror movies", "anime" , "league of legends", "art" in their interests

one girl i talked with told me about some weird animes with funny names i had no clue abt and that was attractive but later on told me i creeped her out and we agreed on stop talking. she also liked harry potter and marvel a lot which is kinda mid to me and didnt like horror

Any kind of convo Is on superficial level anyway. If you truly start talking about why you like something and go Deep in details they Just get bored. Sex sex sex

 

[wollet2]

Any kind of convo Is on superficial level anyway. If you truly start talking about why you like something and go Deep in details they Just get bored. Sex sex sex

so true

you need the implication of sex to always be there, imagine me with 0 libido having to do that. i just sperg about my interests to any girl i talk to lol i dont expect it to lead anywhere

 

[wollet2]

Any kind of convo Is on superficial level anyway. If you truly start talking about why you like something and go Deep in details they Just get bored. Sex sex sex

this is brutal actually, because i specifically dont realise those interests are just the ice breaker and all these guys rush to get dates/sex

if a girl likes horror movies i forget the reason i am on tinder* and i just sperg about all my favourite horror movies and what i consider underrated and so on. i guess there are some rare girls that could appreciate that, that want me as an ltr?

*idk why im even there, i guess to see if girls would swipe right, but since that has been done i have no reason being there. fucking brutal

 

[the BULL]

this is brutal actually, because i specifically dont realise those interests are just the ice breaker and all these guys rush to get dates/sex

if a girl likes horror movies i forget the reason i am on tinder* and i just sperg about all my favourite horror movies and what i consider underrated and so on. i guess there are some rare girls that could appreciate that, that want me as an ltr?

*idk why im even there, i guess to see if girls would swipe right, but since that has been done i have no reason being there. fucking brutal

girls are happy even if chad just chats a lil bit with them

 

[Guba]

@Guba do you agree bro?

I guess the solution on dating apps is to be patient and really only swipe right on women you could see yourself genuinely dating in real life with more serious intent. But it's challenging to be this patient and have enough self-control because the whole point of the app is to give you dopamine from seeing so many tempting possibilities, like being a kid in a candy shop. Only a high-level chad can easily pick almost whomever he wants, but if you're just a normal good-looking guy, say, HTN, even chadlite, you can't usually afford to be this picky without getting frustrated if lacking discipline.

So you often swipe right on women who are palatable enough, but not ones you necessarily really want to meet in real life. Of course if you just want to be promiscuous you can be less discriminating, but it's not a fulfilling lifestyle. Anyway, in a better world these dating apps would not exist at all. Our ancestors did fine without them and so will future generations.

 

[Guba]

this is brutal actually, because i specifically dont realise those interests are just the ice breaker and all these guys rush to get dates/sex

if a girl likes horror movies i forget the reason i am on tinder* and i just sperg about all my favourite horror movies and what i consider underrated and so on. i guess there are some rare girls that could appreciate that, that want me as an ltr?

*idk why im even there, i guess to see if girls would swipe right, but since that has been done i have no reason being there. fucking brutal

The main thing is just to initiate real life contact asap. When you're on an actual date you can talk as much as you want. But writing a novel in the chat is not a good look. Ideally you already schedule a meeting on the first day, second tops. Of course if she finds you really attractive you can be more lax about it, but typically they will move on pretty fast if you don't make a move. Just need to be assertive asap. But the problem arises if you're not THAT interested in her and it feels forced. For me it's been pretty rare that I've been so attracted that I really, really wanted to meet them in the middle of my busy life.

 

[wollet2]

I guess the solution on dating apps is to be patient and really only swipe right on women you could see yourself genuinely dating in real life with more serious intent. But it's challenging to be this patient and have enough self-control because the whole point of the app is to give you dopamine from seeing so many tempting possibilities, like being a kid in a candy shop. Only a high-level chad can easily pick almost whomever he wants, but if you're just a normal good-looking guy, say, HTN, even chadlite, you can't usually afford to be this picky without getting frustrated if lacking discipline.

So you often swipe right on women who are palatable enough, but not ones you necessarily really want to meet in real life. Of course if you just want to be promiscuous you can be less discriminating, but it's not a fulfilling lifestyle. Anyway, in a better world these dating apps would not exist at all. Our ancestors did fine without them and so will future generations.

damn man we're thinking some exactly same things

how do you define the candy shop? do you consider every girl that you match as something close to a lay? i dont view it like that, maybe because meeting them is not something realistic in my head, since i cant fuck them

So you often swipe right on women who are palatable enough, but not ones you necessarily really want to meet in real life.

do you mean this based on looks alone or personality too? from the few things you can judge of a girls personality by her profile/looks

 

[dakchuh]

girls are happy even if chad just chats a lil bit with them

at the end of the day its just about being chad. all this talk about improving your personality so you can attract girls is frankly bunk.

 

[wollet2]

The main thing is just to initiate real life contact asap. When you're on an actual date you can talk as much as you want. But writing a novel in the chat is not a good look. Ideally you already schedule a meeting on the first day, second tops. Of course if she finds you really attractive you can be more lax about it, but typically they will move on pretty fast if you don't make a move. Just need to be assertive asap. But the problem arises if you're not THAT interested in her and it feels forced. For me it's been pretty rare that I've been so attracted that I really, really wanted to meet them in the middle of my busy life.

yup i get you. its usually i sperg in chat because i have no expectation of a real date happening. and i do it because it feels good at the moment and im bored. i am sure girls there would be shocked at the idea of a guy not wanting to meet them so they cant understand this behavior of talking too much. brutal

but yeah i agree this is the way

 

[Guba]

yup i get you. its usually i sperg in chat because i have no expectation of a real date happening. and i do it because it feels good at the moment and im bored. i am sure girls there would be shocked at the idea of a guy not wanting to meet them so they cant understand this behavior of talking too much. brutal

but yeah i agree this is the way

Yeah that sounds familiar. You're often stuck in the middle where you're kind of attracted, but not really enough. Meh. I sometimes wonder what these women are thinking in those moments, whether they think we're being pussies for not escalating things or whether they realize that we're not really interested enough. Depends, surely. Men are expected to make the first move so there's usually the pressure act, which you just don't feel like acting upon when the girl is nothing special. Even for good-looking guys the process can feel a little humiliating. But then again, it's rooted in biology, this dynamic between men and women, so best not to take it too personally.

 

[wollet2]

So you often swipe right on women who are palatable enough, but not ones you necessarily really want to meet in real life.

do you say this based on looks alone btw?

you also said this

I guess the solution on dating apps is to be patient and really only swipe right on women you could see yourself genuinely dating in real life with more serious intent.

do you find hot girls that based on their looks type/profile you know you wouldnt be able to date in real life? or you are not that picky in that department? are those included in your right swipes solution?

 

[Guba]

do you say this based on looks alone btw?

you also said this

do you find hot girls that based of their looks type/profile you know you wouldnt be able to date in real life? are those included in your right swipes? or you are not that picky in that department

Yeah, mainly based on looks, as is the nature of Tinder. But of course talking with them gives you further information. Both aspects are important, especially when you don't yet know quite enough about them. Irl behavior and shared values and interests become most important, ofc.

I've often not been picky enough and that's been the problem. That is the tendency of men on Tinder, and it's easy to fall into that trap, though you should know better. So yeah, often matches with ok women, but I wouldn't bother to try much with them, barely even to talk let alone to meet irl unless they somehow managed to dazzle me with their personality. If I ever go back to Tinder or any other online dating with the intention of finding something serious, I would try to be really disciplined about it. Problem for me has been also not really being sure what I even want in terms of dating, so that adds another layer to the issue. Not a good idea to even put yourself out there if you don't actually know what you want, as I have been recently learning.