blonde slayer
Retired jester
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2025
- Posts
- 127
- Reputation
- 126
Warning, retarded rant
I rarely ever feel happiness even when I achieve something, this month has been insanely hard, I got fired from two different jobs for being ND, I had to pay some fines and my dad just lost a lot of money.
My birthday is in two weeks but I don't have any friends, my parents are divorced and hate eachother, I am broke but my parents have financial problems aswell so they probably won't give me great gifts or anything.
school days are miserable, I hate everyone and everybody, I have never felt "love" towards myself or towards anyone, it doesn't exist anyways as normies think of it.
But back when I had money I ordered reta and some low inhib drugs and they came, it was unexpected and it is the only thing that has made me happy the last few months.
The thing is my looks have never been the problem, I have a mtn base with very aesthetic gymmaxxed body and my life has been hell purely bevause of me being ND and growing up without a father with a narcy whore mother which traumatised me on top of that.
So getting lean with reta prolly won't help, but it did give me an unexplainable wave of pure happiness. The drugs prolly will be abused eventually bevause my father was a drug addict and I am predisposed to it.
I don't feel like a man, because of growing up without my father I had always low T mindset, bullied my whole life, low T hobbies, and nothing will save me now. When having sex I have to take cialis to dominate a girl because if I try to pretend that I am like that I will go limp real fast.
I rarely ever feel happiness even when I achieve something, this month has been insanely hard, I got fired from two different jobs for being ND, I had to pay some fines and my dad just lost a lot of money.
My birthday is in two weeks but I don't have any friends, my parents are divorced and hate eachother, I am broke but my parents have financial problems aswell so they probably won't give me great gifts or anything.
school days are miserable, I hate everyone and everybody, I have never felt "love" towards myself or towards anyone, it doesn't exist anyways as normies think of it.
But back when I had money I ordered reta and some low inhib drugs and they came, it was unexpected and it is the only thing that has made me happy the last few months.
The thing is my looks have never been the problem, I have a mtn base with very aesthetic gymmaxxed body and my life has been hell purely bevause of me being ND and growing up without a father with a narcy whore mother which traumatised me on top of that.
So getting lean with reta prolly won't help, but it did give me an unexplainable wave of pure happiness. The drugs prolly will be abused eventually bevause my father was a drug addict and I am predisposed to it.
I don't feel like a man, because of growing up without my father I had always low T mindset, bullied my whole life, low T hobbies, and nothing will save me now. When having sex I have to take cialis to dominate a girl because if I try to pretend that I am like that I will go limp real fast.
