6ft4
Time is not on Infini's side
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2019
- Posts
- 10,751
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- 29,421
Socializing is fluid and intangible
As an aspie there is never any feeling of security or certainty that you can hold your own when thrown into unfamiliar social environments
A lifetime of being made aware that normies can out outmaneuver you socially simply based on the contrast between your default behaviour and their default behaviour, leaves you feeling like your balance is being reset to zero with every new interaction, while normies are sitting on a mountain of metaphorical social wealth.
Feeling like you are constantly being reset to homeless status going into every social interaction, makes you seek security about your value in something that is fixed and tangible
Regardless of what I think of my own personality traits, I know they can be rendered meaningless in a room of 10 insentient normies
With my looks however, nobody can take that away from me which is why I have placed a large focus on my looks throughout my life
Even if I get mogged socially, in a room of 10 normies I will be the one who unquestionably mogs physically
No matter how much demotivation may be triggered by feeling like I can't relate to people socially, I simply can't look in the mirror and feel physically inadequate even if I feel socially inadequate during periods of feeling defeated
As an aspie there is never any feeling of security or certainty that you can hold your own when thrown into unfamiliar social environments
A lifetime of being made aware that normies can out outmaneuver you socially simply based on the contrast between your default behaviour and their default behaviour, leaves you feeling like your balance is being reset to zero with every new interaction, while normies are sitting on a mountain of metaphorical social wealth.
Feeling like you are constantly being reset to homeless status going into every social interaction, makes you seek security about your value in something that is fixed and tangible
Regardless of what I think of my own personality traits, I know they can be rendered meaningless in a room of 10 insentient normies
With my looks however, nobody can take that away from me which is why I have placed a large focus on my looks throughout my life
Even if I get mogged socially, in a room of 10 normies I will be the one who unquestionably mogs physically
No matter how much demotivation may be triggered by feeling like I can't relate to people socially, I simply can't look in the mirror and feel physically inadequate even if I feel socially inadequate during periods of feeling defeated