personal hatred

[PeakIncels]

recently i have been feeling apart from the usual urges, a really bad wanting of hurting either me or others

but i don't really mean it tbh, the only thing I wish for rn, is dying somehow the fastest possible, before worsening up

if I'd die now people would remember me for how i am, scared that if i keep on going I'll just get forgotten and everyone will remember me as a nothing
(not that i am something rn(

 

[PeakIncels]

@chudlite @loyolaxavvierretard @sigmamogger

 

[PeakIncels]

@Bitchwhipper2 @JeanneDArcAlter

 

[sigmamogger]

If you die know how much more time do you think people will remember you for?
A few years
A few months
Some would even forget after only a few days
And that's it
No one remembers you anyomore
Live on and you can become someone that everyone remembers
Die and you'll be forgotten.

 

[PeakIncels]

If you die know how much more time do you think people will remember you for?
A few years
A few months
Some would even forget after only a few days
And that's it
No one remembers you anyomore
Live on and you can become someone that everyone remembers
Die and you'll be forgotten.

the thing here is that in both situations I'll suffer and be forgotten
if i live I'll prolongate a useless pain, if i die I'll be forgotten and peace w myself
i don't want to remembered anymore, I used to want that but now nah

 

[sigmamogger]

the thing here is that in both situations I'll suffer and be forgotten
if i live I'll prolongate a useless pain, if i die I'll be forgotten and peace w myself
i don't want to remembered anymore, I used to want that but now nah

Ok?
You don't know what happens after death
Are you prepared for it?
It could be 10000x worse than what you go through today

 

[PeakIncels]

Ok?
You don't know what happens after death
Are you prepared for it?
It could be 10000x worse than what you go through today

no, that's why I'm still here, if i wasn't scared I'd be dead already

 

[sigmamogger]

no, that's why I'm still here, if i wasn't scared I'd be dead already

Yeah and because you're here might as well live a good life
If life has no meaning than just do whatever the fuck you want

 

[PeakIncels]

b

 

[PeakIncels]

u

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

The only way to get rid of those thoughts is to examine what really makes you hate yourself. Its not ED, its not not being a good student. Most probably it is the injustuce that makes you feel that way. The question that only you can answer is injustice towards what exactly ?

 

[PeakIncels]

The only way to get rid of those thoughts is to examine what really makes you hate yourself. Its not ED, its not not being a good student. Most probably it is the injustuce that makes you feel that way. The question that only you can answer is injustice towards what exactly ?

I hate how incapable of doing basic tasks, how dependant on other people I am, how useless and worthless I'm alone, how much i need another one to create my identity, because my identity online itself was created by various users who built me

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

I hate how incapable of doing basic tasks, how dependant on other people I am, how useless and worthless I'm alone, how much i need another one to create my identity, because my identity online itself was created by various users who built me

So you do indeed feel the bad luck. Maybe you think you would have been happier if you were better allround in life as compared to others or even normal

 

[PeakIncels]

So you do indeed feel the bad luck. Maybe you think you would have been happier if you were better allround in life as compared to others or even normal

luck isn't real

 

[PeakIncels]

So you do indeed feel the bad luck. Maybe you think you would have been happier if you were better allround in life as compared to others or even normal

I'm the consequences of my own actions

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

luck isn't real

Probability mathematically exists so luck as we interpret it is absolutely real lad

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

I'm the consequences of my own actions

It does not work like that. You did not control your genes. You did not control the house and country and parents you were born into. You did not control the school you went to. You really think you would be the same person if any of the things were different ?

 

[TheVoidInside]

darknss forever

 

[PeakIncels]

It does not work like that. You did not control your genes. You did not control the house and country and parents you were born into. You did not control the school you went to. You really think you would be the same person if any of the things were different ?

i wouldn't be like this if as a kid my parents would've cared a little

all they focused on was money, surviving, I don't blame them, it was a tight budget every month

that led me to follow them, and distancing myself from any form of human contact

apart them, ofc

neglect

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

i wouldn't be like this if as a kid my parents would've cared a little

all they focused on was money, surviving, I don't blame them, it was a tight budget every month

that led me to follow them, and distancing myself from any form of human contact

apart them, ofc

neglect

So it is indeed not your fault. You do feel that if someone cared for you, you could have had a chance to be normal. Something that was taken away from you perhaps.

 

[PeakIncels]

So it is indeed not your fault. You do feel that if someone cared for you, you could have had a chance to be normal. Something that was taken away from you perhaps.

thats exactly why I always say the same shit lol, my whole life I needed validation by others to feel good for myself

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

thats exactly why I always say the same shit lol, my whole life I needed validation by others to feel good for myself

Basic care isnt validation. It is the duty of parents to make the child feel loved. Money, money and more money is good until you forget that the child needs monitoring too. Happens to a lot of parents. Poverty makes them think that they only need to give their kids a good financial support system and yet they are flabbergasted when their adult children dont love them. I am the same way. I couldnt care less if my father died or mother died.

 

[PeakIncels]

Basic care isnt validation. It is the duty of parents to make the child feel loved. Money, money and more money is good until you forget that the child needs monitoring too. Happens to a lot of parents. Poverty makes them think that they only need to give their kids a good financial support system and yet they are flabbergasted when their adult children dont love them. I am the same way. I couldnt care less if my father died or mother died.

this is so real

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

this is so real

It shouldnt be this way but I dont love them nor do I hate them. I just dont care and they pretend to care when all know its just bullshit. I will be at their funeral and that will be the end. When I used to barely pass at school I used to think what I did to deserve such a life where I am beaten every week by my parents. Now I cringe at my younger self. You cant help what others do. But you can choose to not engage with them if yoh can help it

 

[PeakIncels]

ill eat a crackers and reply i haven't ate since yesterday brb

It shouldnt be this way but I dont love them nor do I hate them. I just dont care and they pretend to care when all know its just bullshit. I will be at their funeral and that will be the end. When I used to barely pass at school I used to think what I did to deserve such a life where I am beaten every week by my parents. Now I cringe at my younger self. You cant help what others do. But you can choose to not engage with them if yoh can help it

 

[PeakIncels]

It shouldnt be this way but I dont love them nor do I hate them. I just dont care and they pretend to care when all know its just bullshit. I will be at their funeral and that will be the end. When I used to barely pass at school I used to think what I did to deserve such a life where I am beaten every week by my parents. Now I cringe at my younger self. You cant help what others do. But you can choose to not engage with them if yoh can help it

yk, for my entire family I have this exact same feeling, but i hate them sm, so much smsmsmsm

the moment holidays come, such as Christmas, thanksgiving etc, it's pure torture

I get it, they worry about me

but they also, at the table, humiliate me in front of everyone, especially my grandpa and aunt, they talk about how I never eat, how skinny i am

what ticks me off tho is

"you still eating the same plate as last year? over and over? don't you have something else to nibble?"

they say even more stupid fucking jokes that legit make me so mad, what's even worse is that they r right and i take it to the heart a little

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

yk, for my entire family I have this exact same feeling, but i hate them sm, so much smsmsmsm

the moment holidays come, such as Christmas, thanksgiving etc, it's pure torture

I get it, they worry about me

but they also, at the table, humiliate me in front of everyone, especially my grandpa and aunt, they talk about how I never eat, how skinny i am

what ticks me off tho is

"you still eating the same plate as last year? over and over? don't you have something else to nibble?"

they say even more stupid fucking jokes that legit make me so mad, what's even worse is that they r right and i take it to the heart a little

They dont care. They are going through the motions. You are financially dependent on them so I wouldnt suggest you to open your mouth but I would make it clear to them to mind their own business if I earned my own buck

 

[PeakIncels]

They dont care. They are going through the motions. You are financially dependent on them so I wouldnt suggest you to open your mouth but I would make it clear to them to mind their own business if I earned my own buck

I stay silent and take it in because that's all i can do

 

[loyolaxavvierretard]

I stay silent and take it in because that's all i can do

Dont even bother giving a reaction. Ignore them entirely. Give them a real life dnrd

 

[Deleted member 73697]

recently i have been feeling apart from the usual urges, a really bad wanting of hurting either me or others

but i don't really mean it tbh, the only thing I wish for rn, is dying somehow the fastest possible, before worsening up

if I'd die now people would remember me for how i am, scared that if i keep on going I'll just get forgotten and everyone will remember me as a nothing
(not that i am something rn(

nigga you gotta quit
you aren’t going to die