Please Help Me Be Normal

[snoahh]

I just want to be normal

It’s like any time I try to have a normal human interaction I have to try to blend in with everyone else who effortlessly just lives

If I don’t constantly jester or put on a persona for my friends and family I just fall into anxiety and want to kill my self

I want to feel like a human but I can’t even feel neurodivergent with other NDs because it’s as if I don’t count

It feels as though I haven’t been through enough to even identify with other NDs like myself

I hate self diagnosing anything as well so it’s as if an ADHD retard is pretending to have shit wrong with him

I feel like an alien with facial and body dysmorphia I hate reflections and anything that reminds me of the cards I’ve been dealt with

i just want to be like everyone else

It’s like every time I step into a room I either bring the whole mood down or just jester for attention

Every time my parents fight I caused the conflict in some way shape or form

It’s like everything I do or say is wrong

Please help me lifemaxx