Rate poem i wrote when i was 18 (22 now)

[GandyIsNormie]

The night, the pharmacy, the street,
The pointless lamppost in the mist.
A quarter century recedes –
There’s no escape. It all persists.

You’ll die – and you’ll begin anew,
As in the past, all will repeat:
The icy channel flowing through,
The lamp, the pharmacy, the street.

@Jamesothy @eduardkoopman @Nameless_Sunflower @Rupert Pupkin @Gargantuan @subhuman incel @thecel @Deusmaximus

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

Boring shit innit

 

[GandyIsNormie]

@FailedNormieManlet @Predeterminism

 

[Dogpill enjoyer]

I didn't understand

 

[Deleted member 12002]

The night, the pharmacy, the street,
The pointless lamppost in the mist.
A quarter century recedes –
There’s no escape. It all persists.

You’ll die – and you’ll begin anew,
As in the past, all will repeat:
The icy channel flowing through,
The lamp, the pharmacy, the street.

@Jamesothy @eduardkoopman @Nameless_Sunflower @Rupert Pupkin @Gargantuan @subhuman incel @thecel @Deusmaximus

It's good. I like it. Except for the bit about the lamppost being "pointless". That was tacky and cheap. You should have chosen a different word or two to describe it.