Xangsane
^ Sheboons consider these lot white
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- Jun 11, 2021
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Help me out! I rejected a girl and I feel awful. Not sure what to reply now but I want her to feel good about herself
I’ve been on 3 dates with this girl. We met through tinder and we happened to have sex on the first and the third date. The issue is, while I enjoy her company and conversations I’m not attracted to her physical type. I’m tall and she’s quite shorter and chubby physique. I thought I could overlook the physique part but turns out that no, it’s a bigger part than I thought. I enjoyed the sex (I’ve barely had sex at all before and shes kinda the one that I’ve done most stuff with and it was great) but ultimately I’m not feeling the physical attraction. I could sense her interest and positivity towards me and I didn’t want to let her down, and also it’s the first girl in aaaages that shows interest in me, that’s why I wanted to give it a real chance. But every time we hung out I realized her body type wasn’t for me, even though she is cute.
I feel bad over that fact that physicality has such importance, now that I met someone who takes a liking to me, also partly because I’m unconfident in my own looks and it confirms my worries that looks have certain importance.
I sent her what I thought would be a sincere caring/heartfelt message, saying that I’m sorry that the romantic feeling doesn’t manifest fully and that I gave it a chance despite that feeling not being there, and that I’m sorry in case she feels bad, because I know what it feels like being there. And that shes’s great overall. I did not mention her physique being an issue AT ALL.
She didn’t take it well. And says that she understands she’s not attractive enough, and that it of course sucks. And it puts a dent in her confidence. She read the rest of the message in a negative way too.
I feel awful, like an asshole. Yes, her body type was the main issue for me but I don’t want to mention that. I want her to be confident and feel good about herself and her own body. She’s beautiful and has a genuine personality, it’s just not my type. And physique aside, I couldn’t guarantee that we would’ve been a good match otherwise. Some minor doubts.
What do I tell her?
Among other things I want to tell her, I want to say that she’s beautiful and that I don’t regret any of it, she’s better than most girls and some parts felt better that with other girls, like the kissing. She was great. Is it ok to say this? In a way I don’t feel super honest when I say that she’s beautiful, because I’m not attracted to her body type… BUT objectively, my personal likings aside, I do think that she is beautiful. Just not what I would usually like.
Please help me out, what can I say to make her feel good about herself and her body?
And what can I say that doesn’t put me in a corner? (Like saying that she’s beautiful even though I’m personally not attracted to her body, how do I get out of that).
After all, I think I would still be interested in hanging out with her and exploring friendship. But right now I’m feeling like a piece of shit and I want to make it right and get her confidence back.