R
returningmaxxer
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2025
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Hello all,
As the title suggests, I am a long-time returning member from a previous forum, lookism.net. I’d like to share with all of you my journey with looksmaxxing, how I ended up here, and my biggest takeaways. Before I begin, I thought I’d preface that I’m not looking to humble brag, nor am I looking for clout or even responses. I just hope that at least one of you will read this and feel a little more optimistic. Feel free to read the entirety of this post or just jump to the main points, whatever works best for you.
Brief Background
As I said, there’s no need to bring up too much of my life as to hopefully avoid comparisons. I grew up in the suburbs, and I moved around a bit as a younger kid. I joined my elementary school late, and I was socially more inept, probably because of some undiagnosed autism/adhd, or maybe simply a lack of social development. I was bullied pretty significantly from elementary school up until the middle of high school, and I was in a predominantly white area whilst also being Indian. I fit the stereotypes, and I didn’t do much to break them. In high school, I ended up having a real change of heart, and switched around sophomore year from doing whatever my parents told me to becoming my own person. From that point on is where my life, despite having its ups and downs, has been significantly better.
Main reason for growth
I was pretty angry about my treatment from others, and it led me to do what I could to become less of a social outcast and more of a well-liked, “popular” individual. I, like most of you, quickly learned that looks play a big role in this, and I did get lucky in some regards thanks to puberty. HOWEVER, I’m not Chad or even Chadlite in my opinion, and that’s probably what even led me to the blackpill.
Lifestyle changes and early lessons
I started working out, which really does help build confidence, regardless of your “genetics.” I’ve seen many of my friends at the very least use it as a jumping point, especially when life seems to be fruitless, because you’ll have a baseline of something you’ve worked for, and it’ll always be something to look forward to. I also made sure that my academics were good, not perfect, but decent enough to allow for me to attend university. I focused on sports not just as a means for social interaction but to find yet another point of growth. After all this, I had a solid base by the end of high school, but I learned some valuable lessons.
Firstly, delayed gratification is everything. The gym is the perfect example of this, because you won’t see results right away, but that journey is what is so fulfilling. You keep setting goals, and you keep climbing. This is what life is about. This personal growth is what will keep you motivated.
The second lesson I learned is that focusing on shallow purpose will yield shallow happiness. Having a lot of friends is nice, having a hot girl is nice, having “clout” is nice, even money is good, but not a single one of those things will fulfill you. Building close friends, Finding solace in ANY relationship, not just sexual, and having financial stability is what will genuinely make you happier.
The final lesson is this pursuit of looks is meaningless. It is only a pit of despair. My loneliest nights staring at the mirror, worried about if my UEE or height or hair or nose or genetics or any part of my body were enough. And it’s never enough, because obviously there will always be someone better looking. You shouldn’t let this be an excuse to LDAR. Instead, accept it, and succeed despite it. We live in what I would consider one of the most superficial time periods of humanity, so be the outlier. Focus on values which build you as a person, not just things which keep dropping into an ever-growing bucket. And try to be a considerate and kind person. You’d be surprised how much satisfaction you get having a conversation with a homeless person you’d get, simply by making their day.
Conclusion and final thoughts
Yes this is a bit all over the place, but the main things I wanted to say seem to be all there, in this jumbled mess. Hopefully you all will eventually realize like I did that you can be a good person and focus on growth, and it will yield a lot more than simply focusing on looks. Yes, they’re important, everyone knows this. But will it define you? As someone who’s been in your shoes, I’d say don’t let it become your downfall. As I said before, succeed despite the odds being stacked against you.
If any of you have questions or want clarification, you can reply or dm me. I’d be happy to have a chat if any of you would like. Thanks again for your time, and remember, you matter.
As the title suggests, I am a long-time returning member from a previous forum, lookism.net. I’d like to share with all of you my journey with looksmaxxing, how I ended up here, and my biggest takeaways. Before I begin, I thought I’d preface that I’m not looking to humble brag, nor am I looking for clout or even responses. I just hope that at least one of you will read this and feel a little more optimistic. Feel free to read the entirety of this post or just jump to the main points, whatever works best for you.
Brief Background
As I said, there’s no need to bring up too much of my life as to hopefully avoid comparisons. I grew up in the suburbs, and I moved around a bit as a younger kid. I joined my elementary school late, and I was socially more inept, probably because of some undiagnosed autism/adhd, or maybe simply a lack of social development. I was bullied pretty significantly from elementary school up until the middle of high school, and I was in a predominantly white area whilst also being Indian. I fit the stereotypes, and I didn’t do much to break them. In high school, I ended up having a real change of heart, and switched around sophomore year from doing whatever my parents told me to becoming my own person. From that point on is where my life, despite having its ups and downs, has been significantly better.
Main reason for growth
I was pretty angry about my treatment from others, and it led me to do what I could to become less of a social outcast and more of a well-liked, “popular” individual. I, like most of you, quickly learned that looks play a big role in this, and I did get lucky in some regards thanks to puberty. HOWEVER, I’m not Chad or even Chadlite in my opinion, and that’s probably what even led me to the blackpill.
Lifestyle changes and early lessons
I started working out, which really does help build confidence, regardless of your “genetics.” I’ve seen many of my friends at the very least use it as a jumping point, especially when life seems to be fruitless, because you’ll have a baseline of something you’ve worked for, and it’ll always be something to look forward to. I also made sure that my academics were good, not perfect, but decent enough to allow for me to attend university. I focused on sports not just as a means for social interaction but to find yet another point of growth. After all this, I had a solid base by the end of high school, but I learned some valuable lessons.
Firstly, delayed gratification is everything. The gym is the perfect example of this, because you won’t see results right away, but that journey is what is so fulfilling. You keep setting goals, and you keep climbing. This is what life is about. This personal growth is what will keep you motivated.
The second lesson I learned is that focusing on shallow purpose will yield shallow happiness. Having a lot of friends is nice, having a hot girl is nice, having “clout” is nice, even money is good, but not a single one of those things will fulfill you. Building close friends, Finding solace in ANY relationship, not just sexual, and having financial stability is what will genuinely make you happier.
The final lesson is this pursuit of looks is meaningless. It is only a pit of despair. My loneliest nights staring at the mirror, worried about if my UEE or height or hair or nose or genetics or any part of my body were enough. And it’s never enough, because obviously there will always be someone better looking. You shouldn’t let this be an excuse to LDAR. Instead, accept it, and succeed despite it. We live in what I would consider one of the most superficial time periods of humanity, so be the outlier. Focus on values which build you as a person, not just things which keep dropping into an ever-growing bucket. And try to be a considerate and kind person. You’d be surprised how much satisfaction you get having a conversation with a homeless person you’d get, simply by making their day.
Conclusion and final thoughts
Yes this is a bit all over the place, but the main things I wanted to say seem to be all there, in this jumbled mess. Hopefully you all will eventually realize like I did that you can be a good person and focus on growth, and it will yield a lot more than simply focusing on looks. Yes, they’re important, everyone knows this. But will it define you? As someone who’s been in your shoes, I’d say don’t let it become your downfall. As I said before, succeed despite the odds being stacked against you.
If any of you have questions or want clarification, you can reply or dm me. I’d be happy to have a chat if any of you would like. Thanks again for your time, and remember, you matter.
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