Run From Me

[got.daim]

Everyday is the same as yesterday, the same as tomorrow, I slip my earbuds on before I get my coffee, Timber Timbre’s “Run From Me” starts low, that hollow guitar crawling under my skin like it belongs, I close my eyes and she appears, the blonde from [REDACTED], the one who still thinks her Instagram smile hides the rot, I text her the usual lie, "Hangout tn?” she says yes because they always do, deception is the only foreplay I need, I let her in, she giggles, already half drunk on the idea that she’s safe, the song loops, I lock the door, same click every time, she doesn’t notice the plastic sheeting until I push her down, my knife is warm from my pocket, I start at the soft inside of her thigh, slow drags that open her like cheap packaging, blood smells better than her perfume, she screams into the duct tape and the sound mixes perfectly with the chorus, "run from me, run from me", feel myself harden against her hip while I carve the next line deeper, not to kill her, not yet atleast, just to watch the way her body jerks like a broken doll I get to fuck and break again, the pleasure is quiet, steady, the same pulse as the song, when the final cut comes across her throat I whisper the only truth she’ll ever hear, "you never should have trusted my mask" the song ends and I open my eyes, another perfect daydream, I've never even met this woman in real life, only the internet

@sillybilly

 

[got.daim]

@Ghost Philosophy

 

[ragingmanlet]

"you never should have trusted my mask"

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

 

[got.daim]

View attachment 4781544

Can we ban this nigga?

 

[ragingmanlet]

Can we ban this nigga?

I'm invincible.

 

[sillybilly]

View attachment 4781545

i get it, it takes a certain level of high intellect to be able to appreciate such art

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

i get it, it takes a certain level of high intellect to be able to appreciate such art

If you need high intellect to appreciate a type of art, it's bad art
Cope to the wall

 

[sillybilly]

If you need high intellect to appreciate a type of art, it's bad art
Cope to the wall

whats bad about it???
tbh its surprisingly well written for something on org

 

[Ghost Philosophy]

@Ghost Philosophy

Mirin writing skills bhaijaan.

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

whats bad about it???
tbh its surprisingly well written for something on org

badly formatted, bad hook, no new lines, default text, from someone i don't necessarily care about, list goes on
his writing assumes the person reading WANTS to read it, when you should always assume they couldn't care less
in all my threads where it's just me talking, i keep this in mind, which is why i read it back countless times to guess where someone will lose interest to hook them back in again

https://looksmax.org/threads/arguing-with-people-is-useless-what-every-powerful-person-believes.1935492/

like this thread, that got 20 reps, it would probably get 5 max if i didn't care about this stuff

 

[got.daim]

badly formatted

I agree, but it's a looksmax forum not a book, lmao

bad hook

the goal is monotony.. the tonal shift was the hook retard

from someone i don't necessarily care about

Overall L critique

default text,

?

You should really look into literature

 

[sillybilly]

badly formatted, bad hook, no new lines, default text, from someone i don't necessarily care about, list goes on
his writing assumes the person reading WANTS to read it, when you should always assume they couldn't care less
in all my threads where it's just me talking, i keep this in mind, which is why i read it back countless times to guess where someone will lose interest to hook them back in again

https://looksmax.org/threads/arguing-with-people-is-useless-what-every-powerful-person-believes.1935492/

like this thread, that got 20 reps, it would probably get 5 max if i didn't care about this stuff

apart from it being a whole entire fucking wall of text the storyline, pacing and language is pretty good (FOR AN .ORG POST!!!!!)

wait did I mention its good FOR AN .ORG POST..?

 

[Plagiarism]

What?

 

[got.daim]

apart from it being a whole entire fucking wall of text the storyline, pacing and language is pretty good (FOR AN .ORG POST!!!!!)

wait did I mention its good FOR AN .ORG POST..?

Yeah, that took me around 4 mins to write

What?

read the thread

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

You should really look into literature

I don't research writing techniques or literature, I write what feels good to read when I read it back, sometimes I just completely feel it out and don't even read back, and I get a bunch of reps
The reps are not for ego but indicative that people enjoyed reading
Nobody cares about wall of texts, no matter how good it is, that's why I replied with this

View attachment 4781545

 

[uglybrownskinman]

the saving grace was the end of the story because we know you like men not women

 

[got.daim]

I don't research writing techniques or literature, I write what feels good to read when I read it back, sometimes I just completely feel it out and don't even read back, and I get a bunch of reps
The reps are not for ego but indicative that people enjoyed reading
Nobody cares about wall of texts, no matter how good it is, that's why I replied with this

Again, you produce entertainment, which the masses love, I produce an art that is revolutionary to the avg normie

the saving grace was the end of the story because we know you like men not women

im straight bro

 

[Societal Reject]

Dnr kill yourself

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

Again, you produce entertainment, which the masses love, I produce an art that is revolutionary to the avg normie

art, man made word
entertainment, mad made word
i make things from my heart, thoughts that need to get out, they exit me like a bullet, i simply orient it into the heart of those reading
your bullets completely miss their mark, going over the head of the reader

then you cope by saying "well it isn't for everyone, you need to UNDERSTAND, you need to have HIGH IQ"
Then the bullet isn't good, the art isn't good, the entertainment isn't good, your words are worthless and relate to no one

 

[keife]

Everyday is the same as yesterday, the same as tomorrow, I slip my earbuds on before I get my coffee, Timber Timbre’s “Run From Me” starts low, that hollow guitar crawling under my skin like it belongs, I close my eyes and she appears, the blonde from [REDACTED], the one who still thinks her Instagram smile hides the rot, I text her the usual lie, "Hangout tn?” she says yes because they always do, deception is the only foreplay I need, I let her in, she giggles, already half drunk on the idea that she’s safe, the song loops, I lock the door, same click every time, she doesn’t notice the plastic sheeting until I push her down, my knife is warm from my pocket, I start at the soft inside of her thigh, slow drags that open her like cheap packaging, blood smells better than her perfume, she screams into the duct tape and the sound mixes perfectly with the chorus, "run from me, run from me", feel myself harden against her hip while I carve the next line deeper, not to kill her, not yet atleast, just to watch the way her body jerks like a broken doll I get to fuck and break again, the pleasure is quiet, steady, the same pulse as the song, when the final cut comes across her throat I whisper the only truth she’ll ever hear, "you never should have trusted my mask" the song ends and I open my eyes, another perfect daydream, I've never even met this woman in real life, only the internet

@sillybilly

DNR poopy pants

 

[got.daim]

art, man made word
entertainment, mad made word
i make things from my heart, thoughts that need to get out, they exit me like a bullet, i simply orient it into the heart of those reading
your bullets completely miss their mark, going over the head of the reader

then you cope by saying "well it isn't for everyone, you need to UNDERSTAND, you need to have HIGH IQ"
Then the bullet isn't good, the art isn't good, the entertainment isn't good, your words are worthless and relate to no one

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

 

[got.daim]

View attachment 4782550