blueeyeswhitedrgon
Diamond
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2021
- Posts
- 1,256
- Reputation
- 1,452
I have realized pretty recently that I'm trapped in this cycle. I had a bad childhood (abandoned by biological parents, raped ect) and developed binge eating problems to cope and eventually I became very anti social. I see getting a girlfriend as a solution to my problems because maybe she could be a substitute for my mom.
The problem is that because I see getting a girlfriend as a solution some deep part of me can't let go of living because maybe I could be happy one day but because of years of social alienation and binge eating my odds of getting a girlfriend are very low. This has left me trapped because I can either:
1. Lose weight and get a girlfriend (Which is very hard for me because of how emotionally dependent I am on food)
2. Kill myself (Which is also very hard to do because I am emotionally numb)
I am unable to move forward because I can't choose either of these options and so I'm just floating in limbo.
The reason I am making this thread is because I think my problem is very common. Plenty of people would be much better off if they didn't exist but because it's so hard to kill yourself they are unable to go through with it and end up torturing themselves for decades. Now if you are in this position then I'm sorry. I don't pretend to know the solution. The best advice I can give you is to try to get a fire arm because it is very easy to kill yourself with a gun and so that will offer you a much easier path to escape then drowning or cutting your wrists.
The problem is that because I see getting a girlfriend as a solution some deep part of me can't let go of living because maybe I could be happy one day but because of years of social alienation and binge eating my odds of getting a girlfriend are very low. This has left me trapped because I can either:
1. Lose weight and get a girlfriend (Which is very hard for me because of how emotionally dependent I am on food)
2. Kill myself (Which is also very hard to do because I am emotionally numb)
I am unable to move forward because I can't choose either of these options and so I'm just floating in limbo.
The reason I am making this thread is because I think my problem is very common. Plenty of people would be much better off if they didn't exist but because it's so hard to kill yourself they are unable to go through with it and end up torturing themselves for decades. Now if you are in this position then I'm sorry. I don't pretend to know the solution. The best advice I can give you is to try to get a fire arm because it is very easy to kill yourself with a gun and so that will offer you a much easier path to escape then drowning or cutting your wrists.
