Discussion [Shitpost] Poop story - rock hard, dry stool (severe constipation)

Bewusst

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Ok, gross topic here but the title has warned you and you still clicked. Inb4 "shit thred".

So, basically I've been severely constipated for many months. Going once every 4-7 days and then not being able to pass much/everything and only with severe pain has become the norm for me. Stools are always hard and dry af, no matter how much I drink, how much fibre (fruits, veg, etc.) I eat or how much I smoke. Nothing makes a difference.

The problem is, it has become unbearable for me, I have the severe urge to poop, then I sit on the toilet for hours, all cramped up and it legit feels like getting raped by Tyrone's bbc. It burns like hell, my anus feels torn apart from my rock hard poop which doesn't get through. Nothing comes out, it's stuck in there.
I'm nauseaous from the pain and almost passed out on the toilet (srs). Also seeing stars and stuff.
I drank six beers and also took 3g of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) at once, hoping it would make my stool softer so I could pass it, but no. Still diamonds down there. Beer has worked for me in the past. Not today...
I tried to get the poop out manually which didn't really work. Squatting on the loo didn't work. Praying to the lord of holy poops didn't work. :feelsohgod:

Ok, my funny not so funny story ends here. Any suggestions? Have no laxatives here rn and I heard that oral laxatives don't help with hard stool which is already stuck in the exit. Anything helpful or even funny to make me feel less crappy would be appreciated.

💩💩💩
 
pisslord

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Use finger like every heroinbro do
 
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Zephir
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what the fuck

i shit 2-3 times daily jfl
 
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chad doesn't poop, why cant you be more like chad huh.
 
pisslord

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move more fiber water stop opiods no beer move more rub ur tummy also loop ur meds u r using
 
Bewusst

Bewusst

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Use finger like every heroinbro do
I did but it only got so much out. And then the urge sets in again and another diamond is stuck in the exit.
move more fiber water stop opiods no beer move more rub ur tummy also loop ur meds u r using
Not on opioids (with my constipation lol) and everything else you mentioned doesn't help. I'm not human.
chad doesn't poop, why cant you be more like chad huh.
Chad poops on Stacy's face and she loves it.
 
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currymax

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1571226293997
 
Bewusst

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Vitamin C is actually working. Can hear and feel my stomach rumble. Gonna megadose it for the rest of the day and let osmosis do the rest.
 
Ritalincel

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it legit feels like getting raped by Tyrone's bbc. It burns like hell, my anus feels torn apart from my rock hard poop
 
CopingCel

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Try one of these:
mancunt-hybrid-lube-xl-ref-9602-00.jpg
1315_01_bu.jpg
 
Bewusst

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That'll lube up your poop real good
No bro, fast food actually makes me more constipated. Who the hell knows what happened back there in the kitchen 5 years ago.
 
Bewusst

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Quite educating actually. Thanks for further enlightening an enlightened person!
Try one of these:
mancunt-hybrid-lube-xl-ref-9602-00.jpg
1315_01_bu.jpg
I was actually considering trying an enema/klyster tbh. But this seems like a scam.
 
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Bewusst

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Drank about 5 litres of liquid today and still nothing. That rock keeps raping my butthole without getting out. It's torture.
 
D

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senokot overdose
 
Bewusst

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senokot overdose
Seems like I'm gonna have to go to the pharmacy and get some klysters to stick up my butthole.
If large amounts of hops (beer) and ascorbic acid don't work, I doubt senna will.
 
NiBBaCel

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Seems like I'm gonna have to go to the pharmacy and get some klysters to stick up my butthole.
If large amounts of hops (beer) and ascorbic acid don't work, I doubt senna will.
Imagine ur gedärme platzen
 
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Seems like I'm gonna have to go to the pharmacy and get some klysters to stick up my butthole.
If large amounts of hops (beer) and ascorbic acid don't work, I doubt senna will.
a bloody big curry always gives me the runs
 
NiBBaCel

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No, I'm not gonna imagine that. But I really don't wanna get hemorrhoids or an anal fissure. It's unimaginagle what my butt has gone through rly.
imagine u would have been a fag ur whole life long , wouldnt have that problem rn
 
D

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No, I'm not gonna imagine that. But I really don't wanna get hemorrhoids or an anal fissure. It's unimaginagle what my butt has gone through rly.
I’ve been there bro I feel you

nearly fainted once trying to get it out
 
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Yeah man my face went white and I was sweating felt like giving birth to a fully grown man

another time I blacked out on the toilet and fell in the bath next to me after eating like 20 jaffa cake bars idk what is wrong with me
 
NiBBaCel

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Yeah man my face went white and I was sweating felt like giving birth to a fully grown man

another time I blacked out on the toilet and fell in the bath next to me after eating like 20 jaffa cake bars idk what is wrong with me
u aint no nigg?
 
Peachy

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I went from shitting once a day to shitting two or three times a day by simply eating more. I started eating brown rice with a turkey burger patty and 3 eggs daily in addition to what I already ate.
 
Bewusst

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I went from shitting once a day to shitting two or three times a day by simply eating more. I started eating brown rice with a turkey burger patty and 3 eggs daily in addition to what I already ate.
Legit. When I ate more I didn't have constipation nor infrequency but I won't eat myself fat again just to be able to poop.
 
Peachy

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Legit. When I ate more I didn't have constipation nor infrequency but I won't eat myself fat again just to be able to poop.
You can totally eat a great amount of (physical) food but not get much calories from eat. Healthy foods are usually low in calories and you can get full without having eating many calories.
 
Bewusst

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Was able to pass two little stones yesterday (had to press like a mf) which was torture and irritated my butthole even more. Still have urgency today but my poop is still as hard and dry. In total despair rn, if this doesn't change asap I'll go insane. Have to get some klysters and a laxative today, if they don't help, I'm fucked. The last thing I wanna do is go to the hospital because of rock-hard poop stuck in my ass. Nobody should touch my butthole but me lol. Embarassing!
 

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