Should I tell my father that Im a drug addict and everything os going worse and I might die soon or should I thug it out until my father checks on me

[sorrowfulsad]

so I actually overdosed 3 times already but the first and third dont count cause while I could have died due to vomit I just trashed the mattress instead

and back then my parents didn't question my 'overdose', I just lumped down the stairs and screamed to get an ambulance. they didn't hear me but heard me falling down the stairs. Since then, 4 years later every time I drop something as little as a spoon my father rushes to the sound to check on it. a year later and I told them I only smoked weed and that the overdose happened cause I tried to kill myself, blamed in on my mother cause she told me straight to my face 'you look like shit' when I was 4-5 years old and to this day - I can only imagine the normal life I could have had that I was dreaming of SINCE A LITTLE CHILD

 

[Nexom]

That doesn't sound good brother, what have you tried to help yourself so far? There's always a way to put an end to these habits and live a beautiful life.

 

[sorrowfulsad]

dn rd but my father definitely knows I do more than weed and he would most definitely help me get back on my feet again .. I was sober in 2024 for almost 4 months, relapsed and yesterday I genuinely couldn't believe we had 2026 and not 2025 anymore

 

[LDAR_till_htn]

so I actually overdosed 3 times already but the first and third dont count cause while I could have died due to vomit I just trashed the mattress instead

and back then my parents didn't question my 'overdose', I just lumped down the stairs and screamed to get an ambulance. they didn't hear me but heard me falling down the stairs. Since then, 4 years later every time I drop something as little as a spoon my father rushes to the sound to check on it. a year later and I told them I only smoked weed and that the overdose happened cause I tried to kill myself, blamed in on my mother cause she told me straight to my face 'you look like shit' when I was 4-5 years old and to this day - I can only imagine the normal life I could have had that I was dreaming of SINCE A LITTLE CHILD

try to slowly limit ur drug use

 

[1exposed]

i hope things work out for you bro

 

[sorrowfulsad]

That doesn't sound good brother, what have you tried to help yourself so far? There's always a way to put an end to these habits and live a beautiful life.

Im at drug counselling since November 2022. Ar first it was weekly, after a year 1 appointment every 2 weeks maximum because after a year they suggest to go to a clinic. Now at pushing 4 years at the counselling we see each other once a month at most, Im low priority because of the time I already spent there

People say theres always a way but I genuinely don't have any objective to live. Trauma, blackpill, everything is constantly dragging down to the point where I don't do anything for anyone not even myself except spending time with my little brothers because I want them to have good memories

 

[sorrowfulsad]

try to slowly limit ur drug use

been doing that since 4 years bro heavy on the 'try' part

 

[sorrowfulsad]

i hope things work out for you bro

how does working out look like? Accepting that my life is shit and I just don't kill myself? Genuinely how the fuck do I do that

 

[sorrowfulsad]

I actually made this thread beca the lady on the suicide prevention hotline told me she has other people on the line and I should go to a hospital because she can't talk to people got lore than 30 minutes on a Saturday. I guess more people are trying to off themselves on weekends

 

[Nexom]

Im at drug counselling since November 2022. Ar first it was weekly, after a year 1 appointment every 2 weeks maximum because after a year they suggest to go to a clinic. Now at pushing 4 years at the counselling we see each other once a month at most, Im low priority because of the time I already spent there

People say theres always a way but I genuinely don't have any objective to live. Trauma, blackpill, everything is constantly dragging down to the point where I don't do anything for anyone not even myself except spending time with my little brothers because I want them to have good memories

So you've got at least some form of support. How has that worked for you so far? Do you feel like it benefits you enough or do you see a better but still safe approach for your situation? I'm not going to go into details when it comes to substance details and so on.

What you're doing for your brothers is really beautiful, but trust me they would miss you forever. It seems like you love them and I'm sure you want to live a beautiful life alongside them. They most likely do as well. Please take the right steps to ensure you guys stay together.

 

[sorrowfulsad]

So you've got at least some form of support. How has that worked for you so far? Do you feel like it benefits you enough or do you see a better but still safe approach for your situation?

Only read this oke block information about me and my current situation.

Well right now I taper the opiods and benzos down so I dont tweak or have a seizure cause I been taking them since years man, dosages are fucked up too. I also have the option to go to a rehab center but I don want to lose my job or in general stay at a facility like that with sleeping with other junkies in a room isn't for me. They also would maximum give me 10-30mg diazepam (I called the clinic, and that is literally 1/4 of what I minimum tale a day (4.5 mg clonazepam is like almost 100mg diazepam, based on reddit). My drug counsellor said I that she believes if I want to get clean I need to get to rehab

My father also knows Im an addict. I have a decent paying job so why can't I give my father the money that I owe him? I feel like thats what got him the most suspicious but my parents 100% support me in everything.

I'm not going to go into details when it comes to substance details and so on.

what do you mean by that? do you have a history with addiction aswell?

What you're doing for your brothers is really beautiful, but trust me they would miss you forever. It seems like you love them and I'm sure you want to live a beautiful life alongside them. They most likely do as well. Please take the right steps to ensure you guys stay together.

Thanks for your words, I genuinely appreciate all of what you said man its just nice to vent sometimes and have someone who actually cares in some way so thank you. I actually didn't take any opioids since I made this thread cause I tapered that down and now I really don't want to take opioids man I crave a normal life

 

[Nexom]

Well right now I taper the opiods and benzos down so I dont tweak or have a seizure cause I been taking them since years man, dosages are fucked up too. I also have the option to go to a rehab center but I don want to lose my job or in general stay at a facility like that with sleeping with other junkies in a room isn't for me. They also would maximum give me 10-30mg diazepam (I called the clinic, and that is literally 1/4 of what I minimum tale a day (4.5 mg clonazepam is like almost 100mg diazepam, based on reddit). My drug counsellor said I that she believes if I want to get clean I need to get to rehab

Benzodiazepines are really about as brutal as it gets when it comes to letting go of them. I had an incident in 2024 which led to me 'needing' to take benzos for a while. It started with alprazolam, but as soon as I realised how messed up they are I started tapering down using the Ashton Manual and switching to diazepam. Your dosages are ten times higher than mine, and I'm currently sitting at ~2.5mg/day and it is the most difficult part. I'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat it by any means, it will be very difficult - but not impossible. There are tons of people who have managed to have a very successful, happy and fulfilling life once they got off of it completely. All you have to do is take the right steps moving forward, and that can mean many different things. If your clinic isn't able to help with such large dosages, then your options are a bit more limited but you still have plenty. Start by looking for another clinic and start gathering some information on how to taper properly, with the least amount of withdrawal symptoms as possible (or at least lowest perceived intensity). Look into the Ashton Manual and follow it closely. Benzos are not a toy to play around with, and will require you to actually put effort into this. It's really a mission you are now given and I'm sure you can make it through. Worst case scenario, you can taper down to the maximum allowed dosage the clinic gives and then let them help you from there. I wish you good luck, and yeah man don't give up on your life, family & dreams. Things sometimes look bleak in life, but if they do that just means there's beautiful things waiting on the other side usually. If you have any questions or just wanna discuss about this, feel free to shoot me a DM.

 

[SickendExistence]

so I actually overdosed 3 times already but the first and third dont count cause while I could have died due to vomit I just trashed the mattress instead

and back then my parents didn't question my 'overdose', I just lumped down the stairs and screamed to get an ambulance. they didn't hear me but heard me falling down the stairs. Since then, 4 years later every time I drop something as little as a spoon my father rushes to the sound to check on it. a year later and I told them I only smoked weed and that the overdose happened cause I tried to kill myself, blamed in on my mother cause she told me straight to my face 'you look like shit' when I was 4-5 years old and to this day - I can only imagine the normal life I could have had that I was dreaming of SINCE A LITTLE CHILD

What are you addicted to, I’m guessing opiates based off throwing up and passing out?

 

[sorrowfulsad]

I'm currently sitting at ~2.5mg/day

Diazepam or Alprazolam? You said youre tapering down - when I tapered down and took diazepam (I was 4 months clean except weed) I just stopped after 2 weeks of 5 mg pills and then had vertigo nausea for months. then I relapsed and everything went worse ..

I'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat it by any means, it will be very difficult - but not impossible. There are tons of people who have managed to have a very successful, happy and fulfilling life once they got off of it completely. All you have to do is take the right steps moving forward, and that can mean many different things.

You don't need to sugar coat anything to me
lmao Im sadly a very dependent and addicted poly addict. Fuck man I didn't even smoke my whole joint last night cause taking drugs just feels wrong since I made this thread cause I was so geeked on opiods it just disgusted me

Are you religious btw? I feel like my connectiona to God was suddenly there anenover the past 6 months my connection to God feels stronger but I don't 'feel' God the way some other Religious people. not like religious psychosis but man some believers are Happy and Energetic constantly just because the believe in God and let 'things turn out' by God .. Sometimes I pray to Jesus to give me strength but with no avail

If your clinic isn't able to help with such large dosages, then your options are a bit more limited but you still have plenty. Start by looking for another clinic and start gathering some information on how to taper properly, with the least amount of withdrawal symptoms as possible (or at least lowest perceived intensity). Look into the Ashton Manual and follow it closely. Benzos are not a toy to play around with, and will require you to actually put effort into this.

Thank you for your caring words bro I appreciate that. I feel like us 'benzo addicts' stick together and help each other out cause we know how deep this shit can get. I managed to convince some
people I used to be friends with that they shouldn't play with benzos and the moment you take them
everyday you're low key fucked. Anyway, what you said - that's honestly what I think Im going to do ... Man Im sad, I have no idea how I tell that shit like everything to my father. I KNOW he will support me but fuck how do you open up a conversation about going to rehab and shit like that.

Worst case scenario, you can taper down to the maximum allowed dosage the clinic gives and then let them help you from there.

The worst case scenario honestly sounds like a really good scenario tbh .. Thats lowkey my goal and Im a step closer since I didn't take opiods since 2-3 days

I wish you good luck, and yeah man don't give up on your life, family & dreams. Things sometimes look bleak in life, but if they do that just means there's beautiful things waiting on the other side usually. If you have any questions or just wanna discuss about this, feel free to shoot me a DM.

Thank you for those words brother. We don't know each other but you give me some of your sunshine. Thank you, youre a good person. You also said everything very beautifully ngl is english your first language? I will definitely pm you if I have another 'episode'

 

[sorrowfulsad]

What are you addicted to, I’m guessing opiates based off throwing up and passing out?

Opiates/Opiods (Tramadol and Oxyxodone since about a year), Benzos and other Gaba drugs like pregabalin which really fuck up my nervous system but Im so deep I need to taper the pregabalin after opiods and then benzos

 

[Nexom]

Diazepam or Alprazolam? You said youre tapering down - when I tapered down and took diazepam (I was 4 months clean except weed) I just stopped after 2 weeks of 5 mg pills and then had vertigo nausea for months. then I relapsed and everything went worse ..

Diazepam 2.5mg right now, started at like 15 or 10. So yeah, very low dosage but everyone's body reacts differently based on many factors. Also yeah you can't just stop out of nowhere. I've had every symptom under the sun, from panic attacks, feeling of impending doom, freezing extremities, numbness everywhere, jolting up from sleep 50 times a night from adrenaline surges to dissociation, derealization, dizziness, heart palpitations, tremors, nausea, paranoia, tinnitus, and many more. These all stop or are very low intensity if you take the right steps and do it properly. While tapering, there will be times where it feels absolutely 'necessary' to up the dose when in reality it is not. Unless you've lowered your usual dosage by way too big of a percentage, you'll be fine. In the moment it might feel like hell but a few hours, a day or a few days later you'll be just fine.

Are you religious btw? I feel like my connectiona to God was suddenly there anenover the past 6 months my connection to God feels stronger but I don't 'feel' God the way some other Religious people. not like religious psychosis but man some believers are Happy and Energetic constantly just because the believe in God and let 'things turn out' by God .. Sometimes I pray to Jesus to give me strength but with no avail

What you're saying makes sense, and I've noticed that as well in people. I'm muslim by choice but only follow the main principles rather than any adjacent 'rulings' or 'extras', and my life always feels clean when doing that. Religion is a complicated subject to discuss in simple terms in brief posts, but culture unfortunately has a lot of crossroads with it, which is what I stay away from as much as possible. If you're able to separate those and just read/learn the foundational principles, it's totally different. You shouldn't connect religion with what other people do, but rather look at it on your own if you want to follow it, no matter which one it is. For a lot of people it is them and 'their' religion, with no ties to anything external. That is one way to go about it in my opinion. I feel the cleanest when I'm the one connecting with it and not being influenced by anything external, it feels pure and clean, unobstructed.

Thank you for your caring words bro I appreciate that. I feel like us 'benzo addicts' stick together and help each other out cause we know how deep this shit can get. I managed to convince some people I used to be friends with that they shouldn't play with benzos and the moment you take them
everyday you're low key fucked. Anyway, what you said - that's honestly what I think Im going to do ... Man Im sad, I have no idea how I tell that shit like everything to my father. I KNOW he will support me but fuck how do you open up a conversation about going to rehab and shit like that.

Haha, it's true. Met a multiple helpful fellas throughout my journey since 2024 and everyone that goes through this seems to be very invested into helping others that are on a similar path to recovering or stopping completely. It feels a bit unique, in the sense that there's usually simpler or at least a bit more direct solutions when it comes to stopping other the usage of other substances compared to this one. Probably due to the way it works on a mechanistic level, haven't thought enough about the reason for this.

About your father, if he's as understanding and supportive of you as you keep saying that's great. I still think you should make him comfortable with introducing him to everything further. Go and sit in a room, both of you, with nobody else to interfere. Tell him to have a seat and make sure he has some time to discuss, and then engage the subject in a very relaxed manner. Tell him how confident you are (better be confident, lol) and go through the flows of the topic as you feel like. Don't make it seem like something extreme or blow it out of proportion. Just take the questions/answers/topics one at a time and let him speak as much as he wants to. That way he will understand you truly are open with him. Others may not agree, but that's my take on it.

Thank you for those words brother. We don't know each other but you give me some of your sunshine. Thank you, youre a good person. You also said everything very beautifully ngl is english your first language? I will definitely pm you if I have another 'episode'

No problem, you seem like reaching out is good for you and I hope you get something good out of it. And no, english is not my first language. Cheers

 

[SickendExistence]

Opiates/Opiods (Tramadol and Oxyxodone since about a year), Benzos and other Gaba drugs like pregabalin which really fuck up my nervous system but Im so deep I need to taper the pregabalin after opiods and then benzos

You think you have enough of everything to last? I would taper benzos and pregab before opiates since their withdrawals, way worse than opiates depending how long you’ve been using them