Should men approach or let women initiate?

[Deleted member 30037]

This reddit post got me thinking. I actually agree with the guy who got downvoted, why approach a girl when she’s the one who decides if the dynamic works?

What do you guys think, should men or women initiate?

 

[Deleted member 30037]

“Be a man and approach” stfu bro no one asked

 

[robtical]

Depends on the culture. Its better to approach imo and get it over with. Women initiate but i do not think majority do so. esp "shy" girls

 

[wowamat]

If ugly/avg guy the initiative gonna be his

multiple different girls go out of their way to cold approach a goodlooking guy, like a skinny girl would get

on top of the gl guy already succeeding when trying with cute random girls

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Depends on the culture. Its better to approach imo and get it over with. Women initiate but i do not think majority do so. esp "shy" girls

So you think it's a good idea to approach without any indication first? Crazy

 

[Deleted member 30037]

If ugly/avg guy the initiative gonna be his

multiple different girls go out of their way to cold approach a goodlooking guy, like a skinny girl would get

on top of the gl guy already succeeding when trying with cute random girls

Yeah but only successful relationships are when the girl initiates, even by dropping a sign/ obvious IOI. I don't get why guys think it's a good idea to randomly approach without it

 

[robtical]

So you think it's a good idea to approach without any indication first? Crazy

Dont do it random places, like stop way or something. But yes can go talk n see how she responds.

 

[robtical]

Yeah but only successful relationships are when the girl initiates, even by dropping a sign/ obvious IOI. I don't get why guys think it's a good idea to randomly approach without it

Yes but some girls dont give out ioi. But when u ask for number/details, she may give.

 

[kanderior]

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Yes but some girls dont give out ioi. But when u ask for number/details, she may give.

But if she does that then I'd argue she just isn't that interested and the relationship has 0 chance of actually being successful anyway if you get what I mean

 

[Deleted member 30037]

View attachment 2692953

They're acting like he said some wild shit when I actually agree with him

 

[kanderior]

They're acting like he said some wild shit when I actually agree with him

I think both can be true depending on the circumstances

 

[robtical]

But if she does that then I'd argue she just isn't that interested and the relationship has 0 chance of actually being successful anyway if you get what I mean

Meh, these girls may just not feel the need to have bf, to be giving out iois.

 

[Corleone]

Approaching only works if you’re not autistic and know how to read social cues. Aka looking for IOIs otherwise you’ll just be another PUA-cringer harassing them

 

[wsada]

Idk but I might have autism so I'm gonna let them initiate

 

[Nick.Harte]

Yeah but only successful relationships are when the girl initiates, even by dropping a sign/ obvious IOI. I don't get why guys think it's a good idea to randomly approach without it

This

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Idk but I might have autism so I'm gonna let them initiate

Wait for an IOI, that’s always been my idea anyway

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Approaching only works if you’re not autistic and know how to read social cues. Aka looking for IOIs otherwise you’ll just be another PUA-cringer harassing them

Exactly. Why the fuck would any man approach without a sign from the girl first

 

[robtical]

Exactly. Why the fuck would any man approach without a sign from the girl first

You miss 100% of the shots u don't take. No one is saying stop them like this.

It could just be standing in line n start talking to foid in front n asking number. Just go n talk for 1 min where it is not shock/failo to be approaching.

 

[Orc]

only works if you're giving them the opportunity to approach you, most people don't really exist besides at home or in a cubicle at their job, when do you think women will approach you doing that? the festivals you go to maybe once a year, where you'll meet people that likely live far away?

I get approached regularly at work but I'm literally working in plain sight on the street.

 

[wsada]

Wait for an IOI, that’s always been my idea anyway

Yeah but what would you consider an IOI

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Yeah but what would you consider an IOI

The basic ones.

Smile
Eye contact
Hair play/flicks
Physical touch
Wave

Etc

 

[Deleted member 30037]

only works if you're giving them the opportunity to approach you, most people don't really exist besides at home or in a cubicle at their job, when do you think women will approach you doing that? the festivals you go to maybe once a year, where you'll meet people that likely live far away?

I get approached regularly at work but I'm literally working in plain sight on the street.

I’m talking about in social settings like a party or pub or whatever you do

 

[Deleted member 57464]

if a woman doesnt initiate then you wont smash. take this from a guy who has always initiated and is virgin at 28

 

[Deleted member 30037]

if a woman doesnt initiate then you wont smash. take this from a guy who has always initiated and is virgin at 28

That’s what I’ve always thought. Idk how people disagree. If a woman is interested they will give a sign or initiate themself it’s pointless you approaching a woman randomly

 

[Deleted member 57464]

That’s what I’ve always thought. Idk how people disagree. If a woman is interested they will give a sign or initiate themself it’s pointless you approaching a woman randomly

thats why i just gave up rly

 

[Orc]

I’m talking about in social settings like a party or pub or whatever you do

yes, but unless you're at these every weekend extensively it likely won't be enough.

 

[Deleted member 30037]

yes, but unless you're at these every weekend extensively it likely won't be enough.

I get IOI every time I go but I’m a chadlite so probably different experience

 

[Orc]

I get IOI every time I go but I’m a chadlite so probably different experience

means nothing if they're not approaching you, every other person stares at me.

 

[klip11]

This reddit post got me thinking. I actually agree with the guy who got downvoted, why approach a girl when she’s the one who decides if the dynamic works?

What do you guys think, should men or women initiate?

This guy just approaches

 

[klip11]

Exactly. Why the fuck would any man approach without a sign from the girl first

Black guys approach all the time. Just admit it. You're scared to talk to girls

 

[kanderior]

If you're not an autist and look decent, yes.

 

[Deleted member 30037]

means nothing if they're not approaching you, every other person stares at me.

I think you misunderstood. When a girl is holding eye contact and smiling, that’s a bit different than a one off eye contact. I’m talking about obvious IOI not casual “stares” as you call it

 

[Deleted member 30037]

If you're not an autist and look decent, yes.

To approach without an IOI?

 

[kanderior]

To approach without an IOI?

sure why not, you have nothing to lose. I got my first ONS by approaching a group of people at the smoking area of the club, I didn't wait for it to happen.

 

[Deleted member 30037]

sure why not, you have nothing to lose. I got my first ONS by approaching a group of people at the smoking area of the club, I didn't wait for it to happen.

But the point is she didn’t actually like you and that’s why there was no successful relationship, which is kinda my initial point.

 

[robtical]

But the point is she didn’t actually like you and that’s why there was no successful relationship, which is kinda my initial point.

You don't know yet, that is the point of going n approach to see if she is receptive(gives social details) or not.

Waiting for iois = ur waiting, she gives no ioi = +0(while if u went ask, she woulda given)
Approaching = u go n found out she is receptive = +1(if not given, u found out she is not into u)

 

[AlexBrown84]

the best relationships i’ve had with girls come from when they either text me on tinder first or come up to me and say something irl

but maybe it would be the same if i approached them first, im a non nt intp-a person though

 

[Deleted member 30037]

the best relationships i’ve had with girls come from when they either text me on tinder first or come up to me and say something irl

but maybe it would be the same if i approached them first, im a non nt intp-a person though

That’s precisely how I think it should work. If a women isn’t fully interested then I feel like you’re wasting your time. That’s why I never cold approach and always only respond to their actions

 

[Deleted member 30037]

You don't know yet, that is the point of going n approach to see if she is receptive(gives social details) or not.

Waiting for iois = ur waiting, she gives no ioi = +0(while if u went ask, she woulda given)
Approaching = u go n found out she is receptive = +1(if not given, u found out she is not into u)

But if she was genuinely interested she’d make it obvious

 

[Deleted member 22918]

Women choose and they'll make it extremely obvious or even approach

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Women choose and they'll make it extremely obvious or even approach

Exactly. That’s why men should never randomly approach. I feel like the guys that do have never had a girl actually interested before because they make it very obvious

 

[robtical]

But if she was genuinely interested she’d make it obvious

Meh, if its party situation sure. Does not mean at other places. Shy girls also exist. If you are talking extravert girls with no social anxiety/shyness in party situation where open minded culture, then yes. dont approach, wait for women to initiate or give ioi