synock21
DM open for personal advice
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2023
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We’ve seen a bunch selfies recently of people’s faces (you are lovely! I’m sorry there have been trolls and incels harassing you!), but sometimes it feels like people are making fun of the idea that anyone can tell or guess that someone is autistic by looking at them.
But for some of us… well, we DO “look autistic”. Anyone familiar with autism will guess that I am autistic—and this has happened several times. I have told people I am autistic and they will say “oh! Yes I thought so.”
In a posed photo I do a very natural looking smile. But in candid photos I always look very awkward. My face does not make expressions the way others do. People sometimes comment on my face having a weird expression and they are worried that I am upset. I often hold my head at an angle. I often sit perched on the edge of a chair with my toes pointed, pushing my heels up which raises my knees above my hips. My arms hover above my knees (rather than resting on them). Basically I sit in a way which means my body touches as little of the chair and floor as possible! When I walk my arms are sometimes held out from my body, or swing left-to-right instead of front-to-back and my legs move in a way which means my toes touch the ground before my heels (these days my heels do make contact with the ground for most of my steps, but I toe-walked as a child).
All of these things make me noticeably different in a visible way. Not everyone will recognise those differences as related to my being autistic… but I do not pass as a neurotypical person even just from looking at me.
… and then on top of that are my noise cancelling headphones and sunflower lanyard and my haircut and clothing choices.
If you “don’t look autistic” that’s fine. You look like you. Not all autistic people have a “look”. We are all humans!
But if you do look autistic and have visible autistic traits. If you have visible stims or an odd gait that makes you stand out as “different” from typical people and makes it impossible to hide or mask your autism? That’s fine too! We exist!
But for some of us… well, we DO “look autistic”. Anyone familiar with autism will guess that I am autistic—and this has happened several times. I have told people I am autistic and they will say “oh! Yes I thought so.”
In a posed photo I do a very natural looking smile. But in candid photos I always look very awkward. My face does not make expressions the way others do. People sometimes comment on my face having a weird expression and they are worried that I am upset. I often hold my head at an angle. I often sit perched on the edge of a chair with my toes pointed, pushing my heels up which raises my knees above my hips. My arms hover above my knees (rather than resting on them). Basically I sit in a way which means my body touches as little of the chair and floor as possible! When I walk my arms are sometimes held out from my body, or swing left-to-right instead of front-to-back and my legs move in a way which means my toes touch the ground before my heels (these days my heels do make contact with the ground for most of my steps, but I toe-walked as a child).
All of these things make me noticeably different in a visible way. Not everyone will recognise those differences as related to my being autistic… but I do not pass as a neurotypical person even just from looking at me.
… and then on top of that are my noise cancelling headphones and sunflower lanyard and my haircut and clothing choices.
If you “don’t look autistic” that’s fine. You look like you. Not all autistic people have a “look”. We are all humans!
But if you do look autistic and have visible autistic traits. If you have visible stims or an odd gait that makes you stand out as “different” from typical people and makes it impossible to hide or mask your autism? That’s fine too! We exist!
