G
gorilla55
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2025
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I see a lot of people claiming that "NT is law" which is honestly the truth. No matter how good you look, you cannot get away with being legit weird and retarded unless you are incredibly attractive and still that doesn't fix everything. I may be pretty new on this site, but I NTmaxxed unimaginably hard throughout high school and now am having a great time in college and getting girls, even though I'm never the best looking guy in the room. This is going to be pretty long, so you can just scroll down to the guide if you don't wanna read all this. This guide is aimed at high school/college students.
First, let me tell you about my story. It all starts in middle school, when I had a decent amount of friends but they always kind of tolerated me and we never had the same interests. I was terrible at sports, growing into a lanky frame and super unathletic in general. I was weird because I had come from an elementary school out of state where everyone was "gifted" which is a nice word to describe autism. Quarantine hits when I'm 14 and I did nothing to improve myself. I literally just sat in my room and played Rocket League all day. My friends were all social outcast gamers and I was dangerously skinny, like 6'2 130. That next year, we got back into school (large public school), and I was a complete sub5 weirdo. I had one friend from middle school who was in a "popular" friend group and kind of just tagged along around them, oblivious to the fact that they were making fun of me. I took some things from them very personally, such as confronting them when they wouldn't invite me to stuff which looking back was pretty dumb but it ended up working out. My point is I was a fkin LOSER.
I started playing basketball, and I was easily the worst on the team despite my stature. I was maybe 6'4 150, which led to a lot of ridicule by the older guys and even the guys in my grade/younger than me because they wanted to be liked by the older ones. Even the coach would purposely put me in drills where I would get absolutely run over by people twice as strong as me because he didn't even think I belonged there. I thought about quitting so many times, but I saw the season through and I was the laughingstock of everyone, even the girls who came to our games. That put my name on the map just in terms of women. All attention is good attention if you want to make friends unless you're a sexual predator or a thief.
That summer, I dedicated myself to the gym, not knowing how little it mattered. I ended up bulking up a little and growing to 6'5, but I wasn't very lean and was still not good looking. My real saving grace came from one other guy in that friend group, who was also getting kind of picked on and subtly excluded from everything. We became really close really quick, bonding over Rocket League, and just expanded our reach by befriending other people who liked video games but also played sports and we started becoming more established as a friend group in general. We always put ourselves out there, and when we got that first real party invite from a friend of a friend, we made it our goal to meet as many people from other schools in the city as possible. I knew I was not good-looking enough to get girls at that stage, so I befriended as many girls as possible.
And it helped immensely. We started to be more well-known than those original guys who didn't like us, and it snowballed into eventually making me more well-adjusted and better at talking to people. I was still getting treated like shit by my basketball teammates even though I'd improved a lot, but it didn't matter because at the end of the day, I had more friends than them and didn't want their respect anyways.
Now, in college (big public school in VA), I've put myself out there so much. I joined a "top" fraternity, I can pull girls at parties and bars just because of my personality (height helps but every other guy here is also tall and better looking) and I get a lot more respect from men. I am taken much more seriously. This leads me to my guide.
1. Assimilate
Think about the people around you. Are you in the deep south, where all the "normal "guys wear polos and khakis and watch football? Are you from the west coast, where they all wear well-fitted tees and hit the gym religiously? There is always a "normal" archetype of man depending on your background and you should first start acting and dressing like that. It's fine to have your own style, but it's going to be easier to make friends when you have things in common. This also lowers your inhibition because you don't stick out like a sore thumb.
2. Ingratiate
You can't build a network all by yourself unless you are really good looking, which is the unfortunate truth. Making friends will help you assimilate quicker, and just being a kind, outgoing person to the people you can see yourself growing alongside makes a world of difference. I know it's harder especially because you will have less time to mindlessly scroll org but you cannot reduce your inhibition without making friends. It's like getting into a cold pool, trying to be gradual is so much worse than just taking the leap and talking to people. I promise you they do not give a fuck about your face as long as you have hygiene and don't look like you would legit scare women away.
3. Don't Take it Personally
Some guys are not going to fuck with you for stupid reasons. I'm from Virginia which has a pretty healthy mix of "preppy" type kids and southern boys so if you don't fit into one type you shouldn't expect them to make an exception. They do make exceptions a ton, but it's just a cultural difference that may be preventing them from being friends with you and you should still treat everyone with respect regardless. If you seem bitter about anything for any reason, that is like kryptonite for building friendships. Take the L and move on.
4. Prioritize Friendship/Connections
When I first started getting invited to parties, do you think I tried to hit on every girl there? Fuck no! If you don't have a ton of friends who will put you in situations where you meet girls frequently, you need to befriend some actual chicks (scary, I know) but trust me women instantly let their guard down and become a lot more outgoing to guys when there's no implications of attraction, especially if you aren't the kind of guy who would be able to get with them anyways lol. Just treat them like they are a guy, watch them subtly reject you or make the implication they just want to be friends, and you need to double down on that and treat them like they are your friend. Female friends are a huge help in the 2025 dating scene, no matter what people want you to think. They are always honest and you get valuable insight into how women actually think about guys in general if that floats your boat. Alcohol also helps in these situations because people are friendlier.
5. Ask Questions (and Smile)
The best example I have for this is when I rushed my frat. We had to go round-robin to every house and meet the guys there. Some frats were southern, some were preppy, some were nerdy, some were athletic etc. Again, I knew which was best for me and which guys liked me, because of the way I acted and dressed. I wasn't changing my clothes or putting on an accent in between houses, I was being my authentic self enhanced by knowing my background and how the guys I wanted to be like acted and dressed. No matter where I was, I always walked up to guys with a handshake and introduced myself, and just asked a ton of questions (while providing my own input/answers when necessary). When making friends, you want to listen more than you talk. You wouldn't want to befriend someone who talks your ear off all the time. Also, smiling is key. Subconsciously, people perceive you as more outgoing and attractive when you smile, no matter how you look.
6. Stand Up For Yourself
One of the biggest "culture shocks" for me when I actually started interacting with normal guys my age was getting playfully insulted all the time. I know tons of guys have problems with this, especially ones that weren't brought up in a "normal" environment like me. You need to brush it off and just hit them back, don't be a prick about it, but just stand your ground. As a man, the least attractive thing you can do to friends and potential partners is get offended by a joke. I used to take it super personally but once you realize it's all a big shit-test to see what kind of man you actually are you will see so much success I guarantee it.
7. What Do You Offer?
Seriously. What do you offer? Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you good-looking (I know a lot of you reading this are, even if you don't believe it)? No man gets anything in this world without bringing something to the table. Even though I was initially ugly and not well-adjusted socially, I was always able to crack jokes. That's what got the ball rolling on me making friends. If you aren't funny, maybe study harder and make friends through helping people in class. If you aren't smart or funny, make friends through sports. If you are shit at sports like I was initially, keep trying. It's really a cheat code.
Conclusion
This is a very gradual process but you need to set yourself up for social success. If you are a CL who stays in his room all day because he has no opportunities to go out and meet hot girls you are not going to have a good experience as a man. I hope this guide helped anyone who's struggling to make friends and gives some motivation to show that it really is never over socially, even if you were weird as a kid or even as a teenager. You just have to have the patience to expand your network and your brain will naturally become more well-adjusted, even lowering inhibition in the process (happened to me).
First, let me tell you about my story. It all starts in middle school, when I had a decent amount of friends but they always kind of tolerated me and we never had the same interests. I was terrible at sports, growing into a lanky frame and super unathletic in general. I was weird because I had come from an elementary school out of state where everyone was "gifted" which is a nice word to describe autism. Quarantine hits when I'm 14 and I did nothing to improve myself. I literally just sat in my room and played Rocket League all day. My friends were all social outcast gamers and I was dangerously skinny, like 6'2 130. That next year, we got back into school (large public school), and I was a complete sub5 weirdo. I had one friend from middle school who was in a "popular" friend group and kind of just tagged along around them, oblivious to the fact that they were making fun of me. I took some things from them very personally, such as confronting them when they wouldn't invite me to stuff which looking back was pretty dumb but it ended up working out. My point is I was a fkin LOSER.
I started playing basketball, and I was easily the worst on the team despite my stature. I was maybe 6'4 150, which led to a lot of ridicule by the older guys and even the guys in my grade/younger than me because they wanted to be liked by the older ones. Even the coach would purposely put me in drills where I would get absolutely run over by people twice as strong as me because he didn't even think I belonged there. I thought about quitting so many times, but I saw the season through and I was the laughingstock of everyone, even the girls who came to our games. That put my name on the map just in terms of women. All attention is good attention if you want to make friends unless you're a sexual predator or a thief.
That summer, I dedicated myself to the gym, not knowing how little it mattered. I ended up bulking up a little and growing to 6'5, but I wasn't very lean and was still not good looking. My real saving grace came from one other guy in that friend group, who was also getting kind of picked on and subtly excluded from everything. We became really close really quick, bonding over Rocket League, and just expanded our reach by befriending other people who liked video games but also played sports and we started becoming more established as a friend group in general. We always put ourselves out there, and when we got that first real party invite from a friend of a friend, we made it our goal to meet as many people from other schools in the city as possible. I knew I was not good-looking enough to get girls at that stage, so I befriended as many girls as possible.
And it helped immensely. We started to be more well-known than those original guys who didn't like us, and it snowballed into eventually making me more well-adjusted and better at talking to people. I was still getting treated like shit by my basketball teammates even though I'd improved a lot, but it didn't matter because at the end of the day, I had more friends than them and didn't want their respect anyways.
Now, in college (big public school in VA), I've put myself out there so much. I joined a "top" fraternity, I can pull girls at parties and bars just because of my personality (height helps but every other guy here is also tall and better looking) and I get a lot more respect from men. I am taken much more seriously. This leads me to my guide.
1. Assimilate
Think about the people around you. Are you in the deep south, where all the "normal "guys wear polos and khakis and watch football? Are you from the west coast, where they all wear well-fitted tees and hit the gym religiously? There is always a "normal" archetype of man depending on your background and you should first start acting and dressing like that. It's fine to have your own style, but it's going to be easier to make friends when you have things in common. This also lowers your inhibition because you don't stick out like a sore thumb.
2. Ingratiate
You can't build a network all by yourself unless you are really good looking, which is the unfortunate truth. Making friends will help you assimilate quicker, and just being a kind, outgoing person to the people you can see yourself growing alongside makes a world of difference. I know it's harder especially because you will have less time to mindlessly scroll org but you cannot reduce your inhibition without making friends. It's like getting into a cold pool, trying to be gradual is so much worse than just taking the leap and talking to people. I promise you they do not give a fuck about your face as long as you have hygiene and don't look like you would legit scare women away.
3. Don't Take it Personally
Some guys are not going to fuck with you for stupid reasons. I'm from Virginia which has a pretty healthy mix of "preppy" type kids and southern boys so if you don't fit into one type you shouldn't expect them to make an exception. They do make exceptions a ton, but it's just a cultural difference that may be preventing them from being friends with you and you should still treat everyone with respect regardless. If you seem bitter about anything for any reason, that is like kryptonite for building friendships. Take the L and move on.
4. Prioritize Friendship/Connections
When I first started getting invited to parties, do you think I tried to hit on every girl there? Fuck no! If you don't have a ton of friends who will put you in situations where you meet girls frequently, you need to befriend some actual chicks (scary, I know) but trust me women instantly let their guard down and become a lot more outgoing to guys when there's no implications of attraction, especially if you aren't the kind of guy who would be able to get with them anyways lol. Just treat them like they are a guy, watch them subtly reject you or make the implication they just want to be friends, and you need to double down on that and treat them like they are your friend. Female friends are a huge help in the 2025 dating scene, no matter what people want you to think. They are always honest and you get valuable insight into how women actually think about guys in general if that floats your boat. Alcohol also helps in these situations because people are friendlier.
5. Ask Questions (and Smile)
The best example I have for this is when I rushed my frat. We had to go round-robin to every house and meet the guys there. Some frats were southern, some were preppy, some were nerdy, some were athletic etc. Again, I knew which was best for me and which guys liked me, because of the way I acted and dressed. I wasn't changing my clothes or putting on an accent in between houses, I was being my authentic self enhanced by knowing my background and how the guys I wanted to be like acted and dressed. No matter where I was, I always walked up to guys with a handshake and introduced myself, and just asked a ton of questions (while providing my own input/answers when necessary). When making friends, you want to listen more than you talk. You wouldn't want to befriend someone who talks your ear off all the time. Also, smiling is key. Subconsciously, people perceive you as more outgoing and attractive when you smile, no matter how you look.
6. Stand Up For Yourself
One of the biggest "culture shocks" for me when I actually started interacting with normal guys my age was getting playfully insulted all the time. I know tons of guys have problems with this, especially ones that weren't brought up in a "normal" environment like me. You need to brush it off and just hit them back, don't be a prick about it, but just stand your ground. As a man, the least attractive thing you can do to friends and potential partners is get offended by a joke. I used to take it super personally but once you realize it's all a big shit-test to see what kind of man you actually are you will see so much success I guarantee it.
7. What Do You Offer?
Seriously. What do you offer? Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you good-looking (I know a lot of you reading this are, even if you don't believe it)? No man gets anything in this world without bringing something to the table. Even though I was initially ugly and not well-adjusted socially, I was always able to crack jokes. That's what got the ball rolling on me making friends. If you aren't funny, maybe study harder and make friends through helping people in class. If you aren't smart or funny, make friends through sports. If you are shit at sports like I was initially, keep trying. It's really a cheat code.
Conclusion
This is a very gradual process but you need to set yourself up for social success. If you are a CL who stays in his room all day because he has no opportunities to go out and meet hot girls you are not going to have a good experience as a man. I hope this guide helped anyone who's struggling to make friends and gives some motivation to show that it really is never over socially, even if you were weird as a kid or even as a teenager. You just have to have the patience to expand your network and your brain will naturally become more well-adjusted, even lowering inhibition in the process (happened to me).
