BigJimsWornOutTires
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- Feb 6, 2021
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So I've tried one recently. And ugh, boogers, it nearly wiped me out. It drained the energy from me - blocked my thoughts - and drove me incredibly restless. Like, how the fuck does that supposed to help by depressing the shit out of you? Right? Ugh. Which this reminded me of Halloween back in 2018. So I was invited to a party by a friend. "...just don't dress like Freddy Krueger again." She said on the phone.
"Which one?"
"The rebooted crap. Very disturbing, Jim, considering his backstory." Ugh, the way she said that sounded somewhat discouraging.
"Fine," I replied as I tossed the pedo-mask across the room.
"Nothing personal. My friends are judgemental. So please don't embarrass me again." Like that was my intention, I reminded myself. She's a good friend and all, very flexible, but I think she worries too much about how others see her. The way I see it, fuck them. Fuck them all. Without lube.
"Ugh. Okay." After that cringed phone call, an idea for a costume dawned upon me. It sounded so crazy; I figured it might just work.
Later that evening, I arrived at the Airbnb rental and parked my motorcycle inches behind a car already blocked in by another vehicle from the front. The house was loud, and neighbors spooked. It felt great! The entire town was having a good o' time because, on the way here, I noticed the spirit of the Ween was intoxicating the people as they hollered and screamed obscenities at me. Ugh.
I proceeded to the door and, with a closed fist, banged on it and screamed, "VACCINATION ENFORCEMENT! HE-HAW!" But no one answered—probably because the music was blasting. So I opened it and went inside. I walked around the creepy people as they welcomed me with mysterious eyes—a few guys even whistled. Probably woke fellers. I don't judge...to each their own. Finally, I saw her. Ugh. She was dressed as Harley Quinn but in lingerie. She rotated and saw me with astonishment.
"What the fuck, Jim?" Ugh, I could tell she was impressed as she gazed around the room, making sure everyone else was looking at me too.
"Ugh. Tell me about it."
"Who are you supposed to be?" She asked as she backed away as if joking with me. However, there was a twinkle of sadness in her eyes. Perhaps, she was that proud I wasn't embarrassing her.
"Oh. Maxine Ghislaine. It was either her or the other one. But I didn't care to dress like a billionaire. I can't stand those people." And so I was wearing a short black-haired wig, a lady's black skirt with a halfway buttoned-down white blouse revealing the soft pink cotton bra I had strapped around my awesome colossal chest. She became speechless as I glided my hands down my torso to my private area. As if playing the part of Maxine.
"Okay. So you wanna be a dirty piece of shit whore tonight, uh?" She asked.
"Ugh." And without much of a pause, she pointed her finger to a door, signaling me to go there. And so I did; she followed behind. Long story short. I had her right leg pinned against the bathroom wall while drilling her from the front, standing up. Ugh. As I said, she's flexible. And wearing a skirt made that easier though it would be tricky if I had an erection around people. Boxer briefs aren't designed for my size during such circumstances.
"Which one?"
"The rebooted crap. Very disturbing, Jim, considering his backstory." Ugh, the way she said that sounded somewhat discouraging.
"Fine," I replied as I tossed the pedo-mask across the room.
"Nothing personal. My friends are judgemental. So please don't embarrass me again." Like that was my intention, I reminded myself. She's a good friend and all, very flexible, but I think she worries too much about how others see her. The way I see it, fuck them. Fuck them all. Without lube.
"Ugh. Okay." After that cringed phone call, an idea for a costume dawned upon me. It sounded so crazy; I figured it might just work.
Later that evening, I arrived at the Airbnb rental and parked my motorcycle inches behind a car already blocked in by another vehicle from the front. The house was loud, and neighbors spooked. It felt great! The entire town was having a good o' time because, on the way here, I noticed the spirit of the Ween was intoxicating the people as they hollered and screamed obscenities at me. Ugh.
I proceeded to the door and, with a closed fist, banged on it and screamed, "VACCINATION ENFORCEMENT! HE-HAW!" But no one answered—probably because the music was blasting. So I opened it and went inside. I walked around the creepy people as they welcomed me with mysterious eyes—a few guys even whistled. Probably woke fellers. I don't judge...to each their own. Finally, I saw her. Ugh. She was dressed as Harley Quinn but in lingerie. She rotated and saw me with astonishment.
"What the fuck, Jim?" Ugh, I could tell she was impressed as she gazed around the room, making sure everyone else was looking at me too.
"Ugh. Tell me about it."
"Who are you supposed to be?" She asked as she backed away as if joking with me. However, there was a twinkle of sadness in her eyes. Perhaps, she was that proud I wasn't embarrassing her.
"Oh. Maxine Ghislaine. It was either her or the other one. But I didn't care to dress like a billionaire. I can't stand those people." And so I was wearing a short black-haired wig, a lady's black skirt with a halfway buttoned-down white blouse revealing the soft pink cotton bra I had strapped around my awesome colossal chest. She became speechless as I glided my hands down my torso to my private area. As if playing the part of Maxine.
"Okay. So you wanna be a dirty piece of shit whore tonight, uh?" She asked.
"Ugh." And without much of a pause, she pointed her finger to a door, signaling me to go there. And so I did; she followed behind. Long story short. I had her right leg pinned against the bathroom wall while drilling her from the front, standing up. Ugh. As I said, she's flexible. And wearing a skirt made that easier though it would be tricky if I had an erection around people. Boxer briefs aren't designed for my size during such circumstances.
