Starting to regret being so nd in high school as nt is law

[TerminatorGenisys9]

So this past weekend I went out both Friday and Saturday. Both of these nights I tried to get really drunk because of how neurodivergent I am to the point where if I am just even a little bit sober I know not to speak to people because of my fear of rejection or just scared they will judge me.

Anyways Friday was a total fail as we didn’t have enough alcohol to intoxicate ourselves with. I probably drank 6 sorta small beers and had 3 shooters but this didn’t do the trick, so when we went out I did no approaches and it just didn’t go well. I took another shooter to the bar drank it there and nothing happened.

Saturday we weren’t planning on going out but we saw a liquor store and said let’s buy a bottle of Tito’s since we had such a bad night the night before. We do this and at night around 11 me and my friend take turns doing shots as a pregame and finish the entire bottle before the uber picks us up.

While at the bars this is where I’m having a fun time and see a friend from high school who I get a beer with. I still wasn’t doing any approaches and go to another bar which while we leave that one is when I see 2 girls who I went to school with and we instantly recognize eachother without ever speaking in high school.

This is where my doubt of the black pill and looks being everything come into play. In high school I had no status as I was very anti social and mostly stayed within my group. I had never spoke to these 2 girls but now 6 months post graduation when we run into each other I’m able to orchestrate a 2 man on the spot with my other friend. My memory is completely gone but I do have cute photos of us together having a good time for the entire night we were together.

What this means for me is I could’ve been friends with these 2 very good looking girls all of hs if I wanted to. Recently I have started going to the gym and I know I’ve grown a little bit more, but I wouldn’t be narcissistic enough to say that the reason for a successful night out is because of my looks. I strongly do not believe in my looks being a factor for having this much fun with 2 good looking girls randomly.

My message really is just nt is law as the alcohol is what made it fun. Maybe it is true that my looks did help me and maybe I was good looking enough in hs to make friends but maybe I was too in my head as they were the ones who said and kind of approached me that night. Who knows really I just wanted to document this here as my brain is too cloudy to remember stuff right now.

I’m taking a break from alcohol for about a month as school is coming to an end so I’ll keep u guys updated with any moves I make during the holidays.

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

Autism deducts 1.25/10 in looks

 

[TerminatorGenisys9]

Autism deducts 1.25/10 in looks

Well I don’t consider myself to be very good looking I always thought i was sub 5 but u guys gave me hmtn and say my negative canthal tilt is what cooks me so Irdk. A big problem I face drunk especially Saturday night since we got into a Photo Booth is my eyes are always closed when I’m drunk I think I just wanna go to sleep and there are some pictures where I have zurzolo type of sleepy looking eyes that are open and look cool and the other times I just look like I’m ready to go to sleep

 

[ascensionisgold]

Autism deducts 1.25/10 in looks

What about 1.5/10 in looks?

 

[silently_said]

You don’t “act” ND it’s something innate if you truly are

 

[browncurrycel]

u guys gave me hmtn

 

[TerminatorGenisys9]

You don’t “act” ND it’s something innate if you truly are

Yeah but I’d be willing to say you give a lot more nt vibes with friends who you’ve known for a long time as you’re able to pop jokes in a room with them compared to you with a group of friends who you really haven’t bonded with. The difference is I’m afraid to speak with one group because I didn’t grow up with them.

Also when I say act nd even when I’m truly drunk I can spit out this bp autism stuff to women I was talking to a 28 year old about double jaw surgery at the bar because she said she was a sleep expert. That is just not normal at all.

 

[TerminatorGenisys9]

@browncurrycel ??

 

[browncurrycel]

@browncurrycel ??

You look good. That's why you received good treatment

Trust me when i tell you I was giga NT when I was in school. I could open convos with strangers and girls with no hesitation. Multiple compliments for my personality

But guess what? It didn't matter since I was a manlet subhuman at that time. I have since then ascended facially but I haven't spoken with a human being irl in the last 2.5 years

 

[TerminatorGenisys9]

You look good. That's why you received good treatment

Trust me when i tell you I was giga NT when I was in school. I could open convos with strangers and girls with no hesitation. Multiple compliments for my personality

But guess what? It didn't matter since I was a manlet subhuman at that time. I have since then ascended facially but I haven't spoken with a human being irl in the last 2.5 years

Maybe I do just have absolutely no self confidence and my looks is what made them talk to me, but what I was trying to say is I don’t think I’ve changed that much. I just find it too narcissistic for me to believe that my looks is what attracted them if I think senior year I looked the same and we never spoke. I fully believe alcohol is the only reason they decided to hang out with me that night, without it I wouldn’t have had that experience.

I strongly recommend u start trying to talk to more people then and I do believe you’re right I used to try to talk to people when I was fat and it never went well. But I don’t want to have a mindset where I believe I even look good now to the point where I say that’s the reason.

My friend who was trying to flirt with the prettier girl didn’t get a follow back when he followed her and I just woke up with the follow. I would have to be extremely narcissistic to say it’s a looks thing or believe it. My friend is shorter than me and im 5’10 so he is pretty manlet height unfortunately and I just seem like a shit friend and person thinking this way.

I guarantee you my friend has a better personality but who knows really maybe you’re right and my looks contributed regardless I don’t think I’m good looking for it to be the main factor at the end of the day

 

[browncurrycel]

Maybe I do just have absolutely no self confidence and my looks is what made them talk to me, but what I was trying to say is I don’t think I’ve changed that much. I just find it too narcissistic for me to believe that my looks is what attracted them if I think senior year I looked the same and we never spoke. I fully believe alcohol is the only reason they decided to hang out with me that night, without it I wouldn’t have had that experience.

I strongly recommend u start trying to talk to more people then and I do believe you’re right I used to try to talk to people when I was fat and it never went well. But I don’t want to have a mindset where I believe I even look good now to the point where I say that’s the reason.

My friend who was trying to flirt with the prettier girl didn’t get a follow back when he followed her and I just woke up with the follow. I would have to be extremely narcissistic to say it’s a looks thing or believe it. My friend is shorter than me and im 5’10 so he is pretty manlet height unfortunately and I just seem like a shit friend and person thinking this way.

I guarantee you my friend has a better personality but who knows really maybe you’re right and my looks contributed regardless I don’t think I’m good looking for it to be the main factor at the end of the day

Sounds like you're finding it hard to be confident about your looks

Idk why you would think it's a "shitty" thing to claim or assume that you look better than somebody else

The world isn't fair to many. You have a genetic advantage and it works well for you, contrary to your friend. You shouldn't need to feel guilty about this.

 

[TerminatorGenisys9]

Sounds like you're finding it hard to be confident about your looks

Idk why you would think it's a "shitty" thing to claim or assume that you look better than somebody else

The world isn't fair to many. You have a genetic advantage and it works well for you, contrary to your friend. You shouldn't need to feel guilty about this.

I see your point and you’re right. It would be a bigger guilt to have something and not utilize it when other people wish they could.

I guess I’m only like this because my best friend is very good looking but he’s also extremely shy and quiet and has just never used his looks in any way. Since he is my best friend I of course glaze him and just don’t even see a point in being confident when my best friend isn’t even like that but I should definitely stop and try to talk to more people to get a better evaluation on my looks.