still get cold sweats in the middle of night from being sub5 back in the day

[FiendFiend]

literally actually horrifying experience. I turned into such a bitter resentful person, im grateful im being treated as a human now.

my mom would literally gaslight me saying "look a normal handsome looking guy" when i said im so fucking ugly i wanna kill myself, and scrolled past like sub zero pics. Like actually a face only a mother could love.

Constantly gaslit to "work harder", and was told that it matters whats inside not outside. Despite me being such a nice and shy kid would be treated like fucking dog shit bottom of barrel subhuman.

Could tell even family saw me as a burden. Shit I still struggle to recover from to this day when people strike up conversation with me or a girl is nice to me.

 

[Thief]

 

[ethnic subhuman]

Kill your family

 

[Node]

I think your one of the most underrated mf on this forum tbh
I like ur threads

 

[barambo]

same people that make fun of you for your looks are the same people that say improving your looks is gay. i know what you mean man

 

[Mr Test]

I get cold sweats too. It is a sign of being depressed/suicidial.

 

[FiendFiend]

Kill your family

I remember when my mom woke me up the morning after and was like "muh wake up lets go on a walk together" or some shit. Its like she thought the only issue from bad looks is that u end up hating yourself and if im just given validation and told i look good i can go on and fucking go school or some shit.

When ur actually sub5 it isnt just a validation issue, u genually hate every aspect of life, u become resentful, no one accepts u in places. Its like she cannot fathom that what others think is all that matters. She for some reason even told me "if u think ur so ugly why dont u just ignore everyone and focus on your own goals , most people are self obessesed anwyay why do u want their approval?". Its damn near impossible, in any social setting u can tell ur out of place.

I cant say how much times i tried to "not care about what others think" and all it got me was bullied in school and hating myself so bad. Its even fucking shocking to me how i didnt even realize how subhuman i was before i saw the pictures, i wish someone had just walked up to me earlier and said "hey dude ur fucking ugly as fuck take a pic of urself"

thats unironically what got me to fixing shit, a friend on discord when i put my cam on to go on omegle told me im ugly but its okay and that he will help me ascend and introduced me to this shit.