eyecelforlife
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I attended a college student organization event at a college close to the one I actually attend. I literally planned my day around this and put so much effort into my appearance. I went to the event feeling very confident, and I for sure looked good because people were introducing themselves to me first, when I am usually ignored in public settings.
The high I got from people actually acknowledging my existence for once made me even more confident. The event started, and basically it was a competition where people split up into groups and come up with ideas on how to make a bad thing better, and present it to a panel of judges. The winning group gets a cash prize so people were taking this seriously. My group was all guys I know pretty well, and we came up with an idea that we thought was so fire. Right before it was our turn to present half my team had to go and it was just me and one other guy left. Hes taller than me and about as equally ugly, but way more jester so he has a semblance of a social life, even if he’s just comedic relief to people.
Like I said before I was feeling hella confident in how I looked, and my last remaining partner was a class clown who a lot of the people knew so I wasn’t stressing over it and felt like we had it in the bag. The SECOND I got up there my heart started pounding and I basically sperged out through the entire presentation, just reading off the laptop without looking up at the crowd and making hella mistakes. My jester partners jokes weren’t hitting as well so it was so painfully awkward that by the end I could see people chuckling. One of the judges, a female, asked me a question and when I answered it she started laughing. One of the male judges just waved me off the stage without saying anything. I was so embarrassed I didn’t even know how to feel.
A group of 6 foot confident ltn ended up winning. The event ended and everybody just started socializing and talking about it. I tried to talk to the same guys who were coming up to me before and they legit ignored me. At that point I just left and went home, and now I’m typing this.
I’m transferring to that college next year, so it’s not like this is just gonna disappear. I basically guaranteed that the rest of my college experience will be dead socially by being a low confidence autistic sperg.
This is a warning to all masking nd sub5s like me. Don’t ever put yourself in the spotlight even when you are feeling good. The mask will be ripped right off and you will be humiliated. Focus on yourself, a social life wasn’t meant for you
The high I got from people actually acknowledging my existence for once made me even more confident. The event started, and basically it was a competition where people split up into groups and come up with ideas on how to make a bad thing better, and present it to a panel of judges. The winning group gets a cash prize so people were taking this seriously. My group was all guys I know pretty well, and we came up with an idea that we thought was so fire. Right before it was our turn to present half my team had to go and it was just me and one other guy left. Hes taller than me and about as equally ugly, but way more jester so he has a semblance of a social life, even if he’s just comedic relief to people.
Like I said before I was feeling hella confident in how I looked, and my last remaining partner was a class clown who a lot of the people knew so I wasn’t stressing over it and felt like we had it in the bag. The SECOND I got up there my heart started pounding and I basically sperged out through the entire presentation, just reading off the laptop without looking up at the crowd and making hella mistakes. My jester partners jokes weren’t hitting as well so it was so painfully awkward that by the end I could see people chuckling. One of the judges, a female, asked me a question and when I answered it she started laughing. One of the male judges just waved me off the stage without saying anything. I was so embarrassed I didn’t even know how to feel.
A group of 6 foot confident ltn ended up winning. The event ended and everybody just started socializing and talking about it. I tried to talk to the same guys who were coming up to me before and they legit ignored me. At that point I just left and went home, and now I’m typing this.
I’m transferring to that college next year, so it’s not like this is just gonna disappear. I basically guaranteed that the rest of my college experience will be dead socially by being a low confidence autistic sperg.
This is a warning to all masking nd sub5s like me. Don’t ever put yourself in the spotlight even when you are feeling good. The mask will be ripped right off and you will be humiliated. Focus on yourself, a social life wasn’t meant for you
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