D
Deleted member 6123
just casually vibing
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2020
- Posts
- 56
- Reputation
- 89
hey guys, this will be a semi-serious post
been lurking these lookism forums for about 2 years now, maybe almost 3 but never bothered to post anything lmfao
so I've read many incel stories from lookism, and some here, I doubt anyone is as worse as me though, ok let me just tell:
for reference I live in scandi, not far away from a +100k city but my place has like 3k people
grade 1-7,
I was a normal kid, from like 4-6 had a bestfriend, we played habbo, youtube the time it was new lol, and did normal stuff,
I remember I was with his family during summer on boating, there were other families they were friends with there, and in one of the evenings I was in a small boat with 3 blonde girls from the other families, I was a 10yr old skinny ripped blonde boy myself but shy as fuck, yeah nothing happened wasn't in puberty but it's soon 14 years and all these summers nothing similar, never hanged out with girls, just to pinpoint how unsocial my life has been since then
btw my friend changed school in year 7 because he was a fag, since had 0 contact with him, but yeah I was just a good guy, we were just friends tho 100%
8-10 what happened here, well I started becoming really fucking addicted to videogames, and my friendgroup which was quite nice ngl of roughly 5 guys including me, we only did stuff like hanging out watching movies, go to cinema, public events but no girls or parties, we were pretty nerdy so we just kept to ourselves
anyways I was very high inhib, afraid of peers during this time, I added on a bit of weight as I always ate shit, started taking shit from others too because of it, all I wanted was to ldar at home playing and tv
11-13 two of the worst years I've endured, also known as high school, I think in 2012, middle of it I quit the football team (I was never involved anyway) I studied electronics or whatever its called. 2 years and the only girls we had in our classes was the 2nd year where it was two fatties.
I made 0 effort during this time and at its worst I was 100kg, skinnyfat, acne made no friends, baggy clothes jfl
all I wanted to do was ldar at home, post on forums, play fifa and stuff, and hanging out with my only friend who is the only one I hang out with even today, he is legit asperger though but yeah didn't even consider girls at this stage. I remember instagram when it launched in 2012 or whenever it was, fapping to those girls in my basement, same I did in 2015 and in 2019, nothing changed
needless to say summer 2013, was 17 back then and was on family holidays, I then saw how fat and unattractive I really looked on a video my dad captured so now I knew I needed to lose that weight off my body
I went from 95-77 in about 6 months by doing cardio, also got a job but it was not much, this autumn was basically the beginning of my neet life
3 weeks after I turned 18 I kept asking my friends if they were gonna party soon, and on a cold january evening I went, not much happened there as I was still high inhib, but some of the other kids that was rude to me before suddenly apologised, I guess it was the weightloss that did it. And the next day a blonde psl 5.5 girl which was one of the few girls there sent me a friend request.
more than half a year later, after neeting for a year I started in a class with equal ratio of boys/girls to finish high school, I noticed I started getting some iois, there was a 17yo cute girl in my class who was kinda similar to me on some things, I got some stares and she tried to initiate a conversation after gym once and on the bus, and during that year this class had several parties but for some reason I didn't go to a single one of them
then, right before I went back to neet life 5 years ago, I was about to enter the boat back from school when a 15yo blondie smiles at me, she literally changed seats minutes after going onboard and her new seat was right behind me. I know who she is because I hanged out with her brother in elementary, I started to understand I looked better than before but I still had no experience
15-16 I didnt know what the hell to do so I started living in my basement more than before, rarely left the house, also some shit happened in my family so I got quite depressed and until 2018 I was almost never outside
so 2 years ago after never leaving my house in 2017 I started going out a bit more to cinema and some travelling too, and in august that year I moved to go to some sort of school with a ratio of 70-30 girls, majority of them 18-20, everybody lived in dorms
the other dudes there had gf's and fucked, I got along with all of them and made some friends, everybody seemed to respect me but I was addicted to lookism at this time so more often than not I was laying in my bed in my small room browsing these forums and thinking negative thoughts about myself.
Had some mental breakdowns where I didnt want to talk to the others at school even though nobody did me anything, so I spent many weeks home in my basement because I felt bored and depressed af
Went on many trips with them and it loosened up a bit, I was more NT but my social skills were shit and I felt like they only had sympathy for me
got some attention from a couple of psl 6 girls while going there but I still never kissed a girl, some examples:
- a girl in class sent me snaps from it started and didn't stop until the summer after, I was the one who broke it cus after being on an epic holiday I knew my summer was going to be uneventful, she always sent snaps with all of her friends etc. she knew I was a guy with little to no friends. She gave me a hug out of the blue on the airport after class trip and last april her bestfriend gave me a random hug outside a nightclub (I was only out once the whole year) this is the last time someone gave me a hug
- another girl in class invited me to her room to 'talk about things' as I stayed in my room and they began wondering, I told her I struggle mentally and travelled back home, and I was too much of a pussy to go to her room as I didn't really want sympathy
- first week, 2 real JBs, the first one on first day just looked at me, when we had guided tour around school and were in the same group, she sat next to me twice and asked me simple questions, the second girl asked me if I like sushi but I didnt register it, and some time later as we were in groups outside said I have big lips, was blindfolded or some shit tasks
- another cute 18yo she was in acting classes I was quite low inhib in the start and added her on snap, sent her some snaps but nothing more, next months every time I walked past her even in dinner's hall she always asked me 'how are u doing' I swear like 7-8 times, she complimented my hair once too
- and lastly at christmas prom I had a rather lengthy conversation with another girl in my class, she asked me why I was missing and thought I was snapping with several girls, she literally said that, she dragged me to the dancefloor to dance with a group but I kinda refused, she then asked me if I was afraid of them jfl. A few months earlier on a class trip while me and 2 other dudes were in a cabin she joked and then 'my name and cum' I thought she was a weirdo when she said that tbh, especially when there were other dudes there too wtf. She had a boyfriend too
so long story short I got somewhat involved socially there but I still couldn't lose my mentalceldom and I was neet for almost another year since that
I didn't figure out the right studycourse for me and in september I tried applying for jobs etc but nothing here
I have only one friend here now and I rot in my basement 24/7
I started going to another private school in january but shit closed in march and cancelled exams because I know what to study now
Tinder here doesn't work, nobody uses it and I only take shitty pics, I gave it up
I ruminate at home 24/7 and still only got 2 hugs from girls
My plan is to do cycling trips and weight for the next 4 months, I have nothing else to do, I'm probably 15% bf now and planning to get down to 10%, get a tan, dermaroll and quit internet/forums completely for the remainder of the year
as I said I am 24 and only been to two parties before
otherwise I would guess I am psl 5 and 6'1 I have NW0 no wrinkles good collagen still
but I suffered so much and my mental health is in absolute shit condition
I need some advice on what I can do or take to lower my inhibitions
sorry for messy long post I am pretty tired
I doubt there is a bigger loser than me on here?
been lurking these lookism forums for about 2 years now, maybe almost 3 but never bothered to post anything lmfao
so I've read many incel stories from lookism, and some here, I doubt anyone is as worse as me though, ok let me just tell:
for reference I live in scandi, not far away from a +100k city but my place has like 3k people
grade 1-7,
I was a normal kid, from like 4-6 had a bestfriend, we played habbo, youtube the time it was new lol, and did normal stuff,
I remember I was with his family during summer on boating, there were other families they were friends with there, and in one of the evenings I was in a small boat with 3 blonde girls from the other families, I was a 10yr old skinny ripped blonde boy myself but shy as fuck, yeah nothing happened wasn't in puberty but it's soon 14 years and all these summers nothing similar, never hanged out with girls, just to pinpoint how unsocial my life has been since then
btw my friend changed school in year 7 because he was a fag, since had 0 contact with him, but yeah I was just a good guy, we were just friends tho 100%
8-10 what happened here, well I started becoming really fucking addicted to videogames, and my friendgroup which was quite nice ngl of roughly 5 guys including me, we only did stuff like hanging out watching movies, go to cinema, public events but no girls or parties, we were pretty nerdy so we just kept to ourselves
anyways I was very high inhib, afraid of peers during this time, I added on a bit of weight as I always ate shit, started taking shit from others too because of it, all I wanted was to ldar at home playing and tv
11-13 two of the worst years I've endured, also known as high school, I think in 2012, middle of it I quit the football team (I was never involved anyway) I studied electronics or whatever its called. 2 years and the only girls we had in our classes was the 2nd year where it was two fatties.
I made 0 effort during this time and at its worst I was 100kg, skinnyfat, acne made no friends, baggy clothes jfl
all I wanted to do was ldar at home, post on forums, play fifa and stuff, and hanging out with my only friend who is the only one I hang out with even today, he is legit asperger though but yeah didn't even consider girls at this stage. I remember instagram when it launched in 2012 or whenever it was, fapping to those girls in my basement, same I did in 2015 and in 2019, nothing changed
needless to say summer 2013, was 17 back then and was on family holidays, I then saw how fat and unattractive I really looked on a video my dad captured so now I knew I needed to lose that weight off my body
I went from 95-77 in about 6 months by doing cardio, also got a job but it was not much, this autumn was basically the beginning of my neet life
3 weeks after I turned 18 I kept asking my friends if they were gonna party soon, and on a cold january evening I went, not much happened there as I was still high inhib, but some of the other kids that was rude to me before suddenly apologised, I guess it was the weightloss that did it. And the next day a blonde psl 5.5 girl which was one of the few girls there sent me a friend request.
more than half a year later, after neeting for a year I started in a class with equal ratio of boys/girls to finish high school, I noticed I started getting some iois, there was a 17yo cute girl in my class who was kinda similar to me on some things, I got some stares and she tried to initiate a conversation after gym once and on the bus, and during that year this class had several parties but for some reason I didn't go to a single one of them
then, right before I went back to neet life 5 years ago, I was about to enter the boat back from school when a 15yo blondie smiles at me, she literally changed seats minutes after going onboard and her new seat was right behind me. I know who she is because I hanged out with her brother in elementary, I started to understand I looked better than before but I still had no experience
15-16 I didnt know what the hell to do so I started living in my basement more than before, rarely left the house, also some shit happened in my family so I got quite depressed and until 2018 I was almost never outside
so 2 years ago after never leaving my house in 2017 I started going out a bit more to cinema and some travelling too, and in august that year I moved to go to some sort of school with a ratio of 70-30 girls, majority of them 18-20, everybody lived in dorms
the other dudes there had gf's and fucked, I got along with all of them and made some friends, everybody seemed to respect me but I was addicted to lookism at this time so more often than not I was laying in my bed in my small room browsing these forums and thinking negative thoughts about myself.
Had some mental breakdowns where I didnt want to talk to the others at school even though nobody did me anything, so I spent many weeks home in my basement because I felt bored and depressed af
Went on many trips with them and it loosened up a bit, I was more NT but my social skills were shit and I felt like they only had sympathy for me
got some attention from a couple of psl 6 girls while going there but I still never kissed a girl, some examples:
- a girl in class sent me snaps from it started and didn't stop until the summer after, I was the one who broke it cus after being on an epic holiday I knew my summer was going to be uneventful, she always sent snaps with all of her friends etc. she knew I was a guy with little to no friends. She gave me a hug out of the blue on the airport after class trip and last april her bestfriend gave me a random hug outside a nightclub (I was only out once the whole year) this is the last time someone gave me a hug
- another girl in class invited me to her room to 'talk about things' as I stayed in my room and they began wondering, I told her I struggle mentally and travelled back home, and I was too much of a pussy to go to her room as I didn't really want sympathy
- first week, 2 real JBs, the first one on first day just looked at me, when we had guided tour around school and were in the same group, she sat next to me twice and asked me simple questions, the second girl asked me if I like sushi but I didnt register it, and some time later as we were in groups outside said I have big lips, was blindfolded or some shit tasks
- another cute 18yo she was in acting classes I was quite low inhib in the start and added her on snap, sent her some snaps but nothing more, next months every time I walked past her even in dinner's hall she always asked me 'how are u doing' I swear like 7-8 times, she complimented my hair once too
- and lastly at christmas prom I had a rather lengthy conversation with another girl in my class, she asked me why I was missing and thought I was snapping with several girls, she literally said that, she dragged me to the dancefloor to dance with a group but I kinda refused, she then asked me if I was afraid of them jfl. A few months earlier on a class trip while me and 2 other dudes were in a cabin she joked and then 'my name and cum' I thought she was a weirdo when she said that tbh, especially when there were other dudes there too wtf. She had a boyfriend too
I didn't figure out the right studycourse for me and in september I tried applying for jobs etc but nothing here
I have only one friend here now and I rot in my basement 24/7
I started going to another private school in january but shit closed in march and cancelled exams because I know what to study now
Tinder here doesn't work, nobody uses it and I only take shitty pics, I gave it up
I ruminate at home 24/7 and still only got 2 hugs from girls
My plan is to do cycling trips and weight for the next 4 months, I have nothing else to do, I'm probably 15% bf now and planning to get down to 10%, get a tan, dermaroll and quit internet/forums completely for the remainder of the year
as I said I am 24 and only been to two parties before
otherwise I would guess I am psl 5 and 6'1 I have NW0 no wrinkles good collagen still
but I suffered so much and my mental health is in absolute shit condition
I need some advice on what I can do or take to lower my inhibitions
sorry for messy long post I am pretty tired
I doubt there is a bigger loser than me on here?
