STUDY: Men with gigantic balls (such as me) don't give a fuck about their children.

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The 2013 paper, "Testicular volume is inversely correlated with nurturing-related brain activity in human fathers," featured a clear methods section, one worthy of publication in the prestigious Proceedings of the National Academies of Science. (And in case you were wondering, yes, the researchers essentially found that men with bigger balls showed lower levels of parental caregiving.)
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You should only teach your kids stuff, let the mother do the stupid grind of taking care of them.
 
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