soulless_npc
angels & demons
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2023
- Posts
- 4,183
- Reputation
- 4,368
I lived in a big city, had a decent apartment, a non manual labor job in a fancy hotel, I was running 7+ miles a day along the river every morning, swimming and going to the YMCA gym, I was meeting girls and getting IOIs, life had a feeling of adventure and I was closer than I've ever been to the kind of life I wanted to have.
Then everything went to shit, I lost my job and bankrupt, was forced to move back in with family, got put in handcuffs and taken to the psych ward by the police, was in for two weeks, and was given the brain melting, hormone neutering Abilify jab for 7 months which has given me the testosterone levels of a 70 year old man and chronic fatigue and anhedonia.
And now instead of living among high culture, I live in an area where there are more cows than people and summer 2026 will be spent alternatively rotting alone and working in some warehouse shithouse again, if I'm even lucky enough to get hired. Almost by design, I got systemically dragged down to the lowest common denominator, erasing all progress that I had made.
I wish I had appreciated what I had and had been better prepared to make the most of it. The moral of the story? Even when I was in that situation I was always comparing myself to what other people had, not focusing on what I did have.
In truth, other people are never the real problem, and should never be the problem, and it only speaks to my shitty, ungrateful way of looking at life back then. If there is a God, God punished me for my lack of gratitude. I would do anything for the biggest of my problems to be those that I had in 2024.
Then everything went to shit, I lost my job and bankrupt, was forced to move back in with family, got put in handcuffs and taken to the psych ward by the police, was in for two weeks, and was given the brain melting, hormone neutering Abilify jab for 7 months which has given me the testosterone levels of a 70 year old man and chronic fatigue and anhedonia.
And now instead of living among high culture, I live in an area where there are more cows than people and summer 2026 will be spent alternatively rotting alone and working in some warehouse shithouse again, if I'm even lucky enough to get hired. Almost by design, I got systemically dragged down to the lowest common denominator, erasing all progress that I had made.
I wish I had appreciated what I had and had been better prepared to make the most of it. The moral of the story? Even when I was in that situation I was always comparing myself to what other people had, not focusing on what I did have.
In truth, other people are never the real problem, and should never be the problem, and it only speaks to my shitty, ungrateful way of looking at life back then. If there is a God, God punished me for my lack of gratitude. I would do anything for the biggest of my problems to be those that I had in 2024.
