Swallowing the black pill distracted me from my dream

[griffithmaxer]

Being ostracized and beat up from an early age for looks and height, despite not coming to terms with my ugliness lead me to at first hyper fixate on the ability to fight as a male. Mainly to make up for my lack of height, not automatically being imposing. As we may know, being able to fight (especially as a man) is seen high socially (ESPECIALLY during school) and can easily make men think twice before messing with you.

Knowing this I focused on training Muay Thai/Wrestling and building muscle, I even wanted to get a career in MMA because of how admirable it is to the male mind. I hyper fixated on this, it was an obsession or a dream of mine to become an MMA fighter. And to be honest, this dream in the first place is the result of genetic determinism. There would be no desire to go fight people for money & status if I was given social value and height from birth.

That's when shit changed

Eventually I came to terms with my ugliness after this looksmaxing and the black pill became more mainstream a few years ago, I realized the importance of looks and genetics after being exposed to tons of empirical evidence/statistics, and anecdotes.

I'm obsessed with my looks now after reflecting on my life and interactions with women, and now I want to get a few surgeries done on my face when I turn 18. I don't even care that much about MMA anymore even though I thought I was a lot more stubborn, I've missed a few classes. Skipped a few workouts, I'm still decently fit, don't get me wrong.

But I don't have the same drive anymore for my hobbies anymore, I'm perfectly ok with giving up MMA if I have to unlike my past self. Now not looking good is something I'm not settling for, I'd rather perish by my own hands
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TLDR; I used to value physical dominance (fighting, height, "presence") this lead me to an obsession with becoming an MMA fighter. But the black pill shadowed this dream of mine, and I'm at a loss of ambition.

How can I get this drive back for my passion? The black pill is too real but it also focuses too much on the unfair parts of life, which are also the important important parts of life.

 

[Lookologist003]

How can I get this drive back for my passion? The black pill is too real but it also focuses too much on the unfair parts of life, which are also the important important parts of life.

You will mellow. It's the culture shock of the blackpill. In time you'll get over it and might return to your hobby. You've not been blackpilled for many years. In time.

 

[Lookologist003]

Mainly to make up for my lack of height

How bad?

 

[griffithmaxer]

How bad?

I was around 5'3 and skinny at the the prime of bullying experience in 8th grade. Now I'm 5'5, more muscular, and I'm good at fighting. Men don't really test me anymore because I've already fought a decent amount at high school

 

[Lookologist003]

Oh you poor soul. I hope you are keeping sane!
Hopefully too you hit a growth spurt. I can recall one of my classmates who had been the shortcel grew massively by heavenly invention. He was 5'6 and he ended up 5'10. (Although I recall his frame was so slender, it was like he was an alien. After the spurt, mean kids used to poke fun at his terrible hand ratio.) It happened randomly, so perhaps if your luck is right you wont have to tread this hard road of shortcels.

Men don't really test me anymore because I've already fought a decent amount at high school

You will need to know how difficult it is for short men to climb the corporate ladder. It ridiculously unfair. Gosh, I'm being reminded.

 

[femoidrapist]

Keep fighting bro, even though the black pill is real you want to surround yourself with people who support you for your hobbies. If you’re Asian (assuming based on height) you can find an Asian girl

 

[griffithmaxer]

Oh you poor soul. I hope you are keeping sane!
Hopefully too you hit a growth spurt. I can recall one of my classmates who had been the shortcel grew massively by heavenly invention. He was 5'6 and he ended up 5'10. (Although I recall his frame was so slender, it was like he was an alien. After the spurt, mean kids used to poke fun at his terrible hand ratio.) It happened randomly, so perhaps if your luck is right you wont have to tread this hard road of shortcels.


You will need to know how difficult it is for short men to climb the corporate ladder. It ridiculously unfair. Gosh, I'm being reminded.

I'm going to get an igf1 z-score blood test to see if hopping on that will be any good, I suspect I have an HgH deficiency. If I don't, there's not much hope there. At most I'll be my dad's height (5'8), which I'm okay with. I guess

You will need to know how difficult it is for short men to climb the corporate ladder. It ridiculously unfair. Gosh, I'm being reminded.

I'm already having so much trouble getting a job

 

[griffithmaxer]

Keep fighting bro, even though the black pill is real you want to surround yourself with people who support you for your hobbies. If you’re Asian (assuming based on height) you can find an Asian girl

Love the support but getting a girlfriend is out of the equation brother

 

[Lookologist003]

I'm going to get an igf1 z-score blood test to see if hopping on that will be any good, I suspect I have an HgH deficiency. If I don't, there's not much hope there. At most I'll be my dad's height (5'8), which I'm okay with. I guess

Do it. Don't let anybody tell you not to take HGH. The difference between 5'5 and 5'8 is leagues.
Are your parents super bluepilled and will object to hormone therapy?

 

[femoidrapist]

Love the support but getting a girlfriend is out of the equation brother

depending on your standards absolutely.

The best advice I can give for coping with bp is that you have to recognize it’s just human nature, it isn’t inherently cruel. It’s instinct to make assumptions based on appearance, it’s how we’ve survived. The thing is appearance is only one thing on the social hierarchy, yeah it matters a lot but you can get a long way being charismatic. I think everyone should learn body language, if you can read people they’re more likely to be comfortable around you

 

[griffithmaxer]

Do it. Don't let anybody tell you not to take HGH. The difference between 5'5 and 5'8 is leagues.
Are your parents super bluepilled and will object to hormone therapy?

My parents, especially my mom aren't super blue pilled. If the doctors tells my mom that I have a deficiency and I confirm that the deficiency is bad for me then my mom will likely let me hop on therapy

if she doesn't I'll probably do it in secret

 

[griffithmaxer]

depending on your standards absolutely.

The best advice I can give for coping with bp is that you have to recognize it’s just human nature, it isn’t inherently cruel. It’s instinct to make assumptions based on appearance, it’s how we’ve survived. The thing is appearance is only one thing on the social hierarchy, yeah it matters a lot but you can get a long way being charismatic. I think everyone should learn body language, if you can read people they’re more likely to be comfortable around you

Yeah you're right but the fact that it's only human nature only pisses me off more. I'm a human too obviously, I'm aware I'm shallow too but I was given a short end of a stick and I have to go to some obscure place on the internet to be understood with no gaslighting

this is why I'm not really okay with getting a girlfriend if I do get the looks, the fact that I would have spent 20k+ on my face will only make me incapable of loving a woman

 

[snuggylion5]

most ufc guys besides mw and hw are short so ur good in that category

 

[femoidrapist]

Yeah you're right but the fact that it's only human nature only pisses me off more. I'm a human too obviously, I'm aware I'm shallow too but I was given a short end of a stick and I have to go to some obscure place on the internet to be understood with no gaslighting

this is why I'm not really okay with getting a girlfriend if I do get the looks, the fact that I would have spent 20k+ on my face will only make me incapable of loving a woman

Fuck brother I get it, it feels worse to an extent but you have to find empathy to be at peace with it. We’re all hypergamous hypocrites, we all wish we could be more. Life is unfair, it’s finding the people who make it feel less unfair. It isn’t entirely over though, you have to invest into an insecure fat chick, just make sure she has good genetics and you actually like her personality

 

[Lookologist003]

if you can read people they’re more likely to be comfortable around you

Eh. Women feel comfortable around good looking strangers only. If she doesn't know you, and you're sub5, you better not approach. Her body language at the sight of a sub5 tenses as he gets closer. Women don't mind ugly men looking at them if its from a distance.

That was one of the strongest blackpills: that a good looking face builds comfort instantly. Women act like they've known stranger Chads since their childhood. That comfort is an instinct that women have, possibly reproductive or a survival instinct. Combine it with the fact that women dream of their encounter with Chadly rapists and you have a sense of how rigged the dating game is. Chads just stand against the wall and they're attracting women. They blink to do so, they breathe. So many terrible memories are in my mind on this evening.

you have to invest into an insecure fat chick

Bro Bro this is so bluepilled. What divorce is going to wait for you if she gets Ozempic or gets ahold of her appetite. Not to mention that in this day and age, she still has guys on speed dial and social media waiting their turn, no matter how much blubber.

 

[griffithmaxer]

Fuck brother I get it, it feels worse to an extent but you have to find empathy to be at peace with it. We’re all hypergamous hypocrites, we all wish we could be more. Life is unfair, it’s finding the people who make it feel less unfair. It isn’t entirely over though, you have to invest into an insecure fat chick, just make sure she has good genetics and you actually like her personality

Yeah good point, I suppose some people can help. Mainly friends though, if that

 

[femoidrapist]

Eh. Women feel comfortable around good looking strangers only. If she doesn't know you, and you're sub5, you better not approach. Her body language at the sight of a sub5 tenses as he gets closer. Women don't mind ugly men looking at them if its from a distance.

That was one of the strongest blackpills: that a good looking face builds comfort instantly. Women act like they've known stranger Chads since their childhood. That comfort is an instinct that women have, possibly reproductive or a survival instinct. Combine it with the fact that women dream of their encounter with Chadly rapists and you have a sense of how rigged the dating game is. Chads just stand against the wall and they're attracting women. They blink to do so, they breathe. So many terrible memories are in my mind on this evening.


Bro Bro this is so bluepilled. What divorce is going to wait for you if she gets Ozempic or gets ahold of her appetite. Not to mention that in this day and age, she still has guys on speed dial and social media waiting their turn, no matter how much blubber.

Not everyone can be chad, why keep yourself so miserable by believing all women ONLY want chads when majority of women couldn't even talk to chad lol. If you want a hot girlfriend you have to be hot yourself, ugly chicks know this and the ones that have high standards will end up living by themselves kek. Why get into a relationship if you don’t trust the woman you’re dating has nothing but good intentions? Never settle for an immature foid.

See when I mean invest into a fat insecure foid I mean that you help her through her process of looking better. foids are cliche, they want a man to love them at their worst and best so why not be the person to help her? I hate miserable faggots, I’m not going to be full of hate and anguish all the time #bluepillsometimes

 

[grav]

My dream is already tainted by the blood of those who fell before me

 

[grav]

My dream is already smeared with blood. I dont regret. I dont feel guilty.

 

[cash.org]

cmon bro dont give up on that dream

having something ur passionate about like that is important and you shld continue