BigJimsWornOutTires
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Author: Big Jim's Worn Out Tire SaleOKAYLOOSA COUNTY, FLORIDA — On the beaches of Destin Shorelines, Butch Packer scores pussy overlooking the Gulf of New Mexico and now sharing pearls for the swine, hoping to boast and be worshipped as Grand Pussy Master.
Successful Chads are scoring an abundance of pussy due to the high demand from social media and video-sharing networks. Women have discovered having a Chad increases their market value, thus higher view counts, likes, shares, and orbiters — even though Chad could care less, or as Packer says, "Keep that pussy cumming. Play on words. I know. Nailed it."
"Swimming in pussy," Packer said. "Even the cougars and land whales, partner. Nailing them all!"
Butch Packer jackhammers pussy working for a chair rental and parasailing company near the Broadwalk on Destin Shorelines beach.
"The pussy literally comes to me. So I'm doing my thing, unfolding an umbrella and chair, and a lady would ask, "Can I unfold you?" And so I'm like, Absolutely! They don't call me Butch Packer for no reason," Packer said, then nudged me in the side with his elbow as we were watching someone across the room.
According to Packer, many women today are independent and singles from all races and ages. However, his statute of limitation is 21—the same period for legal alcohol consumption.
"Pickers are choosers. And I'm no chooser. Nor do I discriminate. This one time, two black hotties rent a chair package. And so Debra, the short one, said, "I'm from Detroit."
I replied, "Oh, that's cool."
"I'm down here with my friend, Michelle."
"Oh, that's cool."
"We're bisexuals."
"Oh, that's cool."
"I'm staying in room 163 at the Peacock Lodge. I have a jacuzzi in the room."
"Oh wow, that's really cool!"
"We're not drinking right now because we'll be in our room later this evening doing that."
"Oh, that's cool."
"Could you come by later and hang out with us?"
"Fuck yeah!""
Packer commissions a local gym to ensure his testosterone level stays elevated and his muscles are toned and ripped.
"Women cream on themselves when seeing a muscular man with a tan working hard to please her on the beach," Packer said.
Unlike the popular neighboring sites, Pall Mall City Beach to the east and Fork The Waltons and Pencilcola to the west, Destin Shorelines has become a secret vagina getaway for seeking muscular men with 'willing to please' dedication and no commitment. Women from as far as Australia come to Destin Shorelines to cum. And cum, they do.
"I watch them, listen to them, laugh with them, I then fuck the shit out of them either in a public restroom, porta potty, SUV, my condo, their hotel room...partner, once inside an RV for a genealogy package special. The family of ladies was from the mountains in Montana. Grandmother, mother, and daughter. A family size sub. I fucked them all!" Packer said, then gestured a fist bump, and so I obliged with jealousy and disturbance.
Packer makes women happy and allows them to take selfies with him, increasing their score on social media and video-sharing apps. He also allows them to record having sex with him for her masturbation pleasures and memories later on.
Packer is confident the women are safe for consumption, and he always barebacks. "Herpes is a lie! Nothing more than a clever cockblock population control conspiracy pushed on singles like me, so those ugly fat bald-headed rich weirdos will have a better shot at the major leagues," Packer said, then winked. But the county's health department Dr. Sandras Loose claims another story.
"He has herpes and other unknown STDs we're unaware of," Loose said. "He would also have pubic lice, thus crabs, if not for his smooth shaved balls and privates."
The health department told me they tried having him arrested, but due to the new woke rules imposed by their demoncrat overlords, that would be racist and a matter of hurting his feelings. "It doesn't really matter," Loose said. "We're all dead anyway. Vaccination poison? Hello?? It's a time release. Give it a year or so. We'll start dropping like flies, including Mr. Butch Packer."
Recently Loose teamed up with a wealthy bald chubby business owner to have Packer banned from the county. But before that order was finalized, Loose stopped by my hotel room, where I was interviewing Packer. Well. We all had a few drinks, and it looks like she changed her mind as we're watching her play with her pussy lying on the bed right at this moment. And now she's bending her index finger back and forth, indicating us to join her. So it looks like this story has concluded.
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