N
n1pcide
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2025
- Posts
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Chat gpt was not used for this i made this
In the dim glow of his bathroom LED mirror, Sir Maxillan the Recessed examined his side-profile with the desperation of a man one CT scan away from spiritual awakening. His chin? Loyal. His gonial angle? Acceptable.
But his maxilla…
His maxilla sat back further than the release date of GTA 6.
Whispers spread through the land of Jawlinehaven about a sacred place beyond mortal mogging:
Gandy Heaven,
a realm where only the most ascended midfaces reside — a place where every man has perfect orbital support, 7/10 becomes 10/10, and even shadows fall symmetrically.
Maxillan wished to enter Gandy Heaven more than he wished for a girlfriend.
Chapter I – The Hermit of Orthodontic Wisdom
After binge-reading /lmx/ threads for 8 hours straight, Maxillan began his quest. He carried:
He soon found Orthodontus, the hermit wizard known for his power to summon retainers from thin air.
“Oh wise Orthodontus,” Maxillan begged,
“Grant me a path to Gandy Heaven. My recessed midface holds me back. I cannot mog.”
The hermit nodded grimly.
“Few enter Gandy Heaven. It requires forward growth beyond mortal limits. But perhaps… just perhaps… there is a way.”
Chapter II – The Expander of Destiny
Through the Valley of Cope, Maxillan trekked until he found a stone altar. Resting atop it was a glowing artifact:
The Expander of Destiny, forged by Orthogonal Angels during the Age of Puberty.
The moment he placed it into his mouth, he felt holy pressure — a divine stretching only true looksmaxxers could understand.
His vision blurred.
His midface tingled.
Somewhere in the cosmos, Gandy himself nodded in approval.
Chapter III – Approach to Gandy Heaven
Slowly, day by day, his face changed:
+0.3mm forward projection
+0.7% cheekbone definition
+2 mogging confidence
He began to see glimpses of Gandy Heaven in his dreams — floating jawlines, perfect zygomatic breadth, and ethereal beings whispering:
“Upward tongue posture… always.”
Maxillan knew he was close.
Final Chapter – Moggy Ascension
When he returned to Jawlinehaven, villagers gasped:
“Bro… is that midface SUPPORT?”
“That can’t be natural…”
“He’s BEEN to Gandy Heaven.”
Maxillan smirked with his new, slightly improved facial harmony.
He raised the Expander to the sky.
“Brothers,” he declared,
“No man is truly barred from Gandy Heaven…
for even the recessed may rise.”
And with that, he continued his journey — not to perfection, but to eternal, relentless self-improvement.
In the dim glow of his bathroom LED mirror, Sir Maxillan the Recessed examined his side-profile with the desperation of a man one CT scan away from spiritual awakening. His chin? Loyal. His gonial angle? Acceptable.
But his maxilla…
His maxilla sat back further than the release date of GTA 6.
Whispers spread through the land of Jawlinehaven about a sacred place beyond mortal mogging:
Gandy Heaven,
a realm where only the most ascended midfaces reside — a place where every man has perfect orbital support, 7/10 becomes 10/10, and even shadows fall symmetrically.
Maxillan wished to enter Gandy Heaven more than he wished for a girlfriend.
Chapter I – The Hermit of Orthodontic Wisdom
After binge-reading /lmx/ threads for 8 hours straight, Maxillan began his quest. He carried:
- A scroll of ancient mewing diagrams
- A $39.99 red-light therapy panel
- And approximately 500mg of delusion
He soon found Orthodontus, the hermit wizard known for his power to summon retainers from thin air.
“Oh wise Orthodontus,” Maxillan begged,
“Grant me a path to Gandy Heaven. My recessed midface holds me back. I cannot mog.”
The hermit nodded grimly.
“Few enter Gandy Heaven. It requires forward growth beyond mortal limits. But perhaps… just perhaps… there is a way.”
Chapter II – The Expander of Destiny
Through the Valley of Cope, Maxillan trekked until he found a stone altar. Resting atop it was a glowing artifact:
The Expander of Destiny, forged by Orthogonal Angels during the Age of Puberty.
The moment he placed it into his mouth, he felt holy pressure — a divine stretching only true looksmaxxers could understand.
His vision blurred.
His midface tingled.
Somewhere in the cosmos, Gandy himself nodded in approval.
Chapter III – Approach to Gandy Heaven
Slowly, day by day, his face changed:
+0.3mm forward projection
+0.7% cheekbone definition
+2 mogging confidence
He began to see glimpses of Gandy Heaven in his dreams — floating jawlines, perfect zygomatic breadth, and ethereal beings whispering:
“Upward tongue posture… always.”
Maxillan knew he was close.
Final Chapter – Moggy Ascension
When he returned to Jawlinehaven, villagers gasped:
“Bro… is that midface SUPPORT?”
“That can’t be natural…”
“He’s BEEN to Gandy Heaven.”
Maxillan smirked with his new, slightly improved facial harmony.
He raised the Expander to the sky.
“Brothers,” he declared,
“No man is truly barred from Gandy Heaven…
for even the recessed may rise.”
And with that, he continued his journey — not to perfection, but to eternal, relentless self-improvement.
