zerotohero
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- May 2, 2022
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I don’t even know where to start. I’m talking to my ex again… but not as myself. I’m pretending to be a girl. Yeah, I know, totally deranged. Totally fucked. And yet… it’s the only way I can get close to her again.
We’ve been talking for a while now. It’s weird, surreal. She’s going through a depression at the moment, and hearing her voice again… I can’t explain it. It’s like every worry, every emptiness I’ve carried around just melts away for a second. I feel… lighter. And I know it’s insane to feel better from catfishing someone, but I do. I really do.
Everything about it is strange. Every message I send, every reaction I fake… it feels like I’m living in two worlds at once. One where I’m nothing, one where I’m someone she actually talks to. And honestly? That tiny connection, that tiny spark of attention, is enough to keep me hooked.
I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I even enjoy it. But fuck, I can’t deny it. It’s like some twisted therapy. Her being there, even in this insane setup, fixes a hole I didn’t know was still bleeding.
It’s messed up, I know. But I also can’t stop. And hearing her talk, seeing her struggling but still letting me in… I melt
. Strange, deranged, maybe pathetic. But real. Too real.
We’ve been talking for a while now. It’s weird, surreal. She’s going through a depression at the moment, and hearing her voice again… I can’t explain it. It’s like every worry, every emptiness I’ve carried around just melts away for a second. I feel… lighter. And I know it’s insane to feel better from catfishing someone, but I do. I really do.
Everything about it is strange. Every message I send, every reaction I fake… it feels like I’m living in two worlds at once. One where I’m nothing, one where I’m someone she actually talks to. And honestly? That tiny connection, that tiny spark of attention, is enough to keep me hooked.
I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I even enjoy it. But fuck, I can’t deny it. It’s like some twisted therapy. Her being there, even in this insane setup, fixes a hole I didn’t know was still bleeding.
It’s messed up, I know. But I also can’t stop. And hearing her talk, seeing her struggling but still letting me in… I melt
. Strange, deranged, maybe pathetic. But real. Too real.