hax
nothing coming soon
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2025
- Posts
- 12,509
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> i have finals soon but autism and my ongoing life stop me from being able to study. i keep switching between "meh whatever" to "wtf i gotta lock in right now" to the point where i'd rather be asleep all day.
> randomly during my days, i fall on the floor and find myself curled up, struggling to breathe and clacking my teeth, having seizure-like experiences before thinking about jumping out my window, which is stopped by my coping mechanism. this is probably due to shitty health, stress overload and underperforming at every aspect of life.
> not only that, i'm starting my job at mcdonald's in 3 days, the day before the finals. considering the fact that i always have a mask on at home, i don't think i'll be able to work in a place where everyone observes me. i also have to cut my hair, go to the barber, buy new clothes… i hate it and flinch when people touch my face or body for measurements.
> don't even try to bring up romance anime or anything about relationships… that's 3 more hours in my bed hugging my pillow.
> i'm also starting to develop an eating disorder because everything i eat disgusts me; i'd rather eat nothing.
> i feel mentally drained 24/7. i need to develop a stronger interest towards looksmaxxing or else i'll have nothing to live for and eventually die off by myself.
> on top of that, my parents don't listen. they bring up influencers with shitty reputations like clav to brainwash me into not looksmaxxing. the situation is getting nowhere close to better in every aspect. i don't even want to talk about my flaws cause it just ruins my day typing them out and i dont want to get labeled as them.
> i don't care if people find it pathetic that i'm losing my mind over my own looks. i literally have no other interest and this is a hyperobsession. you will never get it unless you have my brain, which you don't, so don't even start...
hax, out.
> @Sceptical @Psocho @truejamal @Feuerwehr (tagging people who have context so my thread doesn't get overflown with 2026cels telling me to "just do ___")
> randomly during my days, i fall on the floor and find myself curled up, struggling to breathe and clacking my teeth, having seizure-like experiences before thinking about jumping out my window, which is stopped by my coping mechanism. this is probably due to shitty health, stress overload and underperforming at every aspect of life.
> not only that, i'm starting my job at mcdonald's in 3 days, the day before the finals. considering the fact that i always have a mask on at home, i don't think i'll be able to work in a place where everyone observes me. i also have to cut my hair, go to the barber, buy new clothes… i hate it and flinch when people touch my face or body for measurements.
> don't even try to bring up romance anime or anything about relationships… that's 3 more hours in my bed hugging my pillow.
> i'm also starting to develop an eating disorder because everything i eat disgusts me; i'd rather eat nothing.
> i feel mentally drained 24/7. i need to develop a stronger interest towards looksmaxxing or else i'll have nothing to live for and eventually die off by myself.
> on top of that, my parents don't listen. they bring up influencers with shitty reputations like clav to brainwash me into not looksmaxxing. the situation is getting nowhere close to better in every aspect. i don't even want to talk about my flaws cause it just ruins my day typing them out and i dont want to get labeled as them.
> i don't care if people find it pathetic that i'm losing my mind over my own looks. i literally have no other interest and this is a hyperobsession. you will never get it unless you have my brain, which you don't, so don't even start...
hax, out.
> @Sceptical @Psocho @truejamal @Feuerwehr (tagging people who have context so my thread doesn't get overflown with 2026cels telling me to "just do ___")
