bleedinginfras
i love tall women
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2026
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I can't really talk about it with those around me, so I'm talking here.
I was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend for about a year.
I was 14-15.
During the first 5 months, I believed I was in love. However, looking back now, I realize that it wasn’t actually love, but rather strong attachment, possibly even emotional dependency. I think she came into my life at a time when I may have needed attention, and receiving attention from someone I found physically attractive made me develop a strong attachment to her.
During those first 5 months, she did many things that hurt me deeply. I don’t want to present myself as perfect, but I made very few mistakes, and even she admitted that I was a very good boyfriend. On the other hand, she behaved in ways that were often hurtful and sometimes extreme.
For example, she once told me that if she ever committed suicide, it would be my fault. She also broke up with me twice over minor reasons, simply because I had gotten slightly upset, even though I was not aggressive or insulting. Both times, she came back the same evening, fully aware that her actions had hurt me a lot.
She constantly threatened to leave me, which created a lot of emotional instability. Over time, she broke my trust many times, to the point where I was crying regularly, sometimes every couple of weeks. This period was very difficult for me emotionally.
After about 5 months, I started to lose my feelings. I began to emotionally detach from her, and although that might seem strange, it actually made me feel better because I was suffering less. My attachment to her continued to fade gradually.
I realized that I didn’t love her anymore at all. I think I may have known it deep down before that, but I was in denial because I had never imagined myself without loving her.
Even after realizing that I no longer loved her, I didn’t break up with her. Partly because I lacked the courage, but also because she had become very attached to me, and I didn’t want to hurt her the same way she had hurt me before. I was also afraid of her reaction: I feared she might harm herself, and I was also worried that she could damage my reputation by revealing personal things out of anger. Nothing extremely serious, but still potentially embarrassing.
Because of that, I chose to become a bad boyfriend toward the end of the relationship. I became very cold and distant, stopped responding properly to her messages, and avoided physical contact. My goal was for her to eventually break up with me instead, which is what ended up happening.
Because of my behavior, she started to believe that I was cheating on her, which is completely false. I never cheated on her and never even came close to it. Toward the end, she tried to provoke me and trap me into admitting something I hadn’t done. For example, she would send messages like asking about other girls, trying to make me confess.
One specific example is when she asked me what I thought about a particular girl from my school, likely out of jealousy. I didn’t respond because I understood it was a provocation.
At some point, she blocked my number because I didn’t reply. Later that night, around 10 PM, she unblocked me and called me four times while I was trying to sleep. I didn’t answer, but when I checked my phone, I accidentally triggered a callback. Since she now knew I had seen her calls, I sent her a message asking her to let me sleep.
She then replied that in that case, it was over between us. I put my phone on airplane mode and went to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep because, honestly, I felt relieved and even happy that the relationship was finally ending.
About an hour later, I checked my phone again and saw that she had sent me 13 messages, insulting me and saying that I didn’t deserve her and that she didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t open them and went to sleep. The next day, I simply replied “OK.”
After that, we didn’t talk for about 48 hours. Then she came back, apologizing, saying she loved me and couldn’t live without me. She tried multiple times to see me again, often using excuses like returning each other’s belongings. I refused and told her I didn’t want my things back and that I could return hers through a friend if needed.
At one point, she even set up a situation at school where she and one of her friends physically blocked my path to force me to talk to her. During that conversation, I clearly told her that I didn’t want anything with her anymore, that I couldn’t stay with someone I didn’t love and who had hurt me so much.
She said she understood, but afterward, she sent me around a hundred messages in a single day, mostly trying to make me feel guilty. This guilt-tripping behavior continued for about one to two weeks.
She also continued to behave in very intrusive ways. For example, she still had access to my Snapchat account and kept logging into it even after the breakup. Even after I changed my password and username, she somehow managed to access it again, which forced me to create a completely new account.
Another very uncomfortable situation happened when I received a call from an unknown number. The person pretended to be a friend of mine, so I didn’t suspect anything and spoke normally. During the conversation, I made a joke saying that now I could look at women's ass without feeling guilty anymore. Later, the person called me back and revealed that he was actually with my ex. She then took the phone and confronted me about what I had said. It turned out that the person I had been talking to was not my friend at all, which made the situation very embarrassing.
She also spread rumors at school, claiming that I had cheated on her and that this was the reason for our breakup, which is completely false. In reality, she believed that because I had become distant. Fortunately, I am generally more appreciated at school than she is, so these rumors have not had a major impact on me. Some people, after hearing part of the story, even told her directly that I had been a very good boyfriend and that her behavior was unacceptable.
Looking back, the relationship was clearly toxic. She was controlling, jealous, and manipulative. She tried to isolate me socially, didn’t allow me to have female friends, wanted access to my social media accounts, and was even jealous of my own sister.
After the breakup, I initially chose not to block her completely. I wanted to give her about two weeks in case she had anything left to say before we stopped talking entirely. However, I later realized that this was a mistake, as it only allowed her to continue manipulating my emotions. I eventually blocked her completely.
After the breakup, I felt much better. I felt relieved and freer. I started going out with friends again,for example, I went to play golf with some friends, which I really enjoyed.
Finally, I now clearly understand that what I felt for her was not love, but emotional dependency. I was afraid of losing her, afraid of not finding someone else who would give me that kind of attention, and that explains why I suffered so much, even though I didn’t truly love her.
My relationship with her had significantly damaged my social life. I wasn’t allowed to have female friends, and since I spent most of my time with her, I didn’t maintain strong friendships. I ended up with more acquaintances than real friends.
It was a long time ago, but it still left its mark on my social life.
Now, I want to rebuild my social life. I believe I have good social skills and no difficulty making friends, but I want to expand my circle, both with guys and girls. I also want to get invited to parties, things like that. I can easily speak with girls without getting awkward but I don't know how to get closer to them, for now i'm just the funny and handsome (
) guy from math class.
Guys, if you're not happy with a girl, leave her.
For many, it might seem easy, but I promise you, when you have a girlfriend, you'll understand how difficult this choice can be.
But do it. I was scared, and I regret it now. I should have left her as soon as I felt the need.
Your freedom is worth more than any girl, especially if youre mtn+
I hope this can help people in the same situation as me, and those who will be in the future.
If you have any advice on how to restart my social life or anything to add, please feel free to share.
Yes i used a website to correct my errors, english is not my native language and i wanted my testimony to be pleasant to read.
I was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend for about a year.
I was 14-15.
During the first 5 months, I believed I was in love. However, looking back now, I realize that it wasn’t actually love, but rather strong attachment, possibly even emotional dependency. I think she came into my life at a time when I may have needed attention, and receiving attention from someone I found physically attractive made me develop a strong attachment to her.
During those first 5 months, she did many things that hurt me deeply. I don’t want to present myself as perfect, but I made very few mistakes, and even she admitted that I was a very good boyfriend. On the other hand, she behaved in ways that were often hurtful and sometimes extreme.
For example, she once told me that if she ever committed suicide, it would be my fault. She also broke up with me twice over minor reasons, simply because I had gotten slightly upset, even though I was not aggressive or insulting. Both times, she came back the same evening, fully aware that her actions had hurt me a lot.
She constantly threatened to leave me, which created a lot of emotional instability. Over time, she broke my trust many times, to the point where I was crying regularly, sometimes every couple of weeks. This period was very difficult for me emotionally.
After about 5 months, I started to lose my feelings. I began to emotionally detach from her, and although that might seem strange, it actually made me feel better because I was suffering less. My attachment to her continued to fade gradually.
I realized that I didn’t love her anymore at all. I think I may have known it deep down before that, but I was in denial because I had never imagined myself without loving her.
Even after realizing that I no longer loved her, I didn’t break up with her. Partly because I lacked the courage, but also because she had become very attached to me, and I didn’t want to hurt her the same way she had hurt me before. I was also afraid of her reaction: I feared she might harm herself, and I was also worried that she could damage my reputation by revealing personal things out of anger. Nothing extremely serious, but still potentially embarrassing.
Because of that, I chose to become a bad boyfriend toward the end of the relationship. I became very cold and distant, stopped responding properly to her messages, and avoided physical contact. My goal was for her to eventually break up with me instead, which is what ended up happening.
Because of my behavior, she started to believe that I was cheating on her, which is completely false. I never cheated on her and never even came close to it. Toward the end, she tried to provoke me and trap me into admitting something I hadn’t done. For example, she would send messages like asking about other girls, trying to make me confess.
One specific example is when she asked me what I thought about a particular girl from my school, likely out of jealousy. I didn’t respond because I understood it was a provocation.
At some point, she blocked my number because I didn’t reply. Later that night, around 10 PM, she unblocked me and called me four times while I was trying to sleep. I didn’t answer, but when I checked my phone, I accidentally triggered a callback. Since she now knew I had seen her calls, I sent her a message asking her to let me sleep.
She then replied that in that case, it was over between us. I put my phone on airplane mode and went to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep because, honestly, I felt relieved and even happy that the relationship was finally ending.
About an hour later, I checked my phone again and saw that she had sent me 13 messages, insulting me and saying that I didn’t deserve her and that she didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t open them and went to sleep. The next day, I simply replied “OK.”
After that, we didn’t talk for about 48 hours. Then she came back, apologizing, saying she loved me and couldn’t live without me. She tried multiple times to see me again, often using excuses like returning each other’s belongings. I refused and told her I didn’t want my things back and that I could return hers through a friend if needed.
At one point, she even set up a situation at school where she and one of her friends physically blocked my path to force me to talk to her. During that conversation, I clearly told her that I didn’t want anything with her anymore, that I couldn’t stay with someone I didn’t love and who had hurt me so much.
She said she understood, but afterward, she sent me around a hundred messages in a single day, mostly trying to make me feel guilty. This guilt-tripping behavior continued for about one to two weeks.
She also continued to behave in very intrusive ways. For example, she still had access to my Snapchat account and kept logging into it even after the breakup. Even after I changed my password and username, she somehow managed to access it again, which forced me to create a completely new account.
Another very uncomfortable situation happened when I received a call from an unknown number. The person pretended to be a friend of mine, so I didn’t suspect anything and spoke normally. During the conversation, I made a joke saying that now I could look at women's ass without feeling guilty anymore. Later, the person called me back and revealed that he was actually with my ex. She then took the phone and confronted me about what I had said. It turned out that the person I had been talking to was not my friend at all, which made the situation very embarrassing.
She also spread rumors at school, claiming that I had cheated on her and that this was the reason for our breakup, which is completely false. In reality, she believed that because I had become distant. Fortunately, I am generally more appreciated at school than she is, so these rumors have not had a major impact on me. Some people, after hearing part of the story, even told her directly that I had been a very good boyfriend and that her behavior was unacceptable.
Looking back, the relationship was clearly toxic. She was controlling, jealous, and manipulative. She tried to isolate me socially, didn’t allow me to have female friends, wanted access to my social media accounts, and was even jealous of my own sister.
After the breakup, I initially chose not to block her completely. I wanted to give her about two weeks in case she had anything left to say before we stopped talking entirely. However, I later realized that this was a mistake, as it only allowed her to continue manipulating my emotions. I eventually blocked her completely.
After the breakup, I felt much better. I felt relieved and freer. I started going out with friends again,for example, I went to play golf with some friends, which I really enjoyed.
Finally, I now clearly understand that what I felt for her was not love, but emotional dependency. I was afraid of losing her, afraid of not finding someone else who would give me that kind of attention, and that explains why I suffered so much, even though I didn’t truly love her.
My relationship with her had significantly damaged my social life. I wasn’t allowed to have female friends, and since I spent most of my time with her, I didn’t maintain strong friendships. I ended up with more acquaintances than real friends.
It was a long time ago, but it still left its mark on my social life.
Now, I want to rebuild my social life. I believe I have good social skills and no difficulty making friends, but I want to expand my circle, both with guys and girls. I also want to get invited to parties, things like that. I can easily speak with girls without getting awkward but I don't know how to get closer to them, for now i'm just the funny and handsome (
) guy from math class.Guys, if you're not happy with a girl, leave her.
For many, it might seem easy, but I promise you, when you have a girlfriend, you'll understand how difficult this choice can be.
But do it. I was scared, and I regret it now. I should have left her as soon as I felt the need.
Your freedom is worth more than any girl, especially if youre mtn+
I hope this can help people in the same situation as me, and those who will be in the future.
If you have any advice on how to restart my social life or anything to add, please feel free to share.
Yes i used a website to correct my errors, english is not my native language and i wanted my testimony to be pleasant to read.
