myropnousplayinpips
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2026
- Posts
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I’m sure that many of you have heard of the “wise chinese proverb”, stating that “When a mosquito lands on your testicles, you learn that violence isn’t always the answer” - Mu Shi Qui To, 301 BCE
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS!!! HE IS A LIAR!!
As I unfortunately had to learn, flicking the greedy female bastard off my balls would’ve been a much, much better decision.
What happened? Why am I talking about this?
BECAUSE THIS HURTS SO MUCH MORE THAN A NORMAL BITE!!!
~3:30 AM, i’m trying to fall back asleep. I didn’t notice due to the darkness, but the little demon appeared. I don’t know how the hell he got there, as I don’t sleep bbn and would’ve noticed her entering my clothes. Ignoring that, the thing bit, and it left. I didn’t notice, the naive little moron I was, and I fell asleep, unaware of the constant stress this would bring me.
11 AM. I wake up, blissful and ready to enjoy the day. I didn’t enjoy it. A few hours later, I sit down to eat.. and it begins. I brush it off, as bug bites usually don’t afflict me. Yet, it got worse, worse, yet worser (that’s technically a word). Throughout the day, I laze around like the fat little bum that I am, wasting the short time that I have on this earth. 11PM, I attempt to sleep, and am met with the first of my tortures: sleeping pillowless. As most here do, I sleep without a pillow (it’s genuinely so comfortable idk why), but that became my downfall, The position of the bite caused my swelling to become horrid when pressure wasn’t on it, so I was forced to either lay flat and endure, sleep on my side and have it worse, or sleep flat on my stomach and gain a brief respite. I chose the final option, and slept shittily.
Day 2: The trials continued.
I woke up at 12:30 (i was tired from the torture of the night) and remembered why I slept like that. It was at this point where I gave up on just thugging it out, and turned to google for assistance. I had a choice between hydrocortisone, which for multiple reasons, I avoided, and Aloe Vera, which I used. However, I forgot to factor in that I’m a moron, a cretin, perchance. I used far, far too much of it, and within minutes, I felt the burn. Thankfully, it went away, but I was scarred.
After this, I resorted to wet tissues to temporarily calm the pain, and while that helped, the pain came back worse. Sleep was harder this night, and I began to think that this wasn’t just a normal insect bite…
Day 3: It’s worse.
I woke up, 11 since I slept earlier than normal, and it was immediately worse.
I hydrated, got some sunlight, and immediately hopped on minecraft. It was a pretty good session, I got an elytra and full prot 4 mending so i’m gonna slime the owner soon cuz he opened end so fuckin early.
Anyways, the pain was BAD. Not even sitting down like a fatass could reduce the pain, and it persisted while I gamed.
After I ate lunch, I decided that soap would help more, so I used it. SOAP. DIDNT. DO. SHIT. google is a FUCKING liar.
I went to study, and I can’t fucking focus because if I don’t move every few seconds I feel like a victim of torture.
My pain is getting worse every second, so with all of this typed, I have a message to the readers of this thread.
DO NOT LET A MOSQUITO SUCK YO BALLS.
Yes, it’s a woman that is extracting your sperm, but SHIT ISNT WORTH IT.
This is like an STD, and NOBODY wants one.
Also, don’t trust fake chinese wisdom. The art of war was a good ass read, but Mr. Qui To is a fucking dumbass who is an agent of the mosquitos.
Trust nobody.
Schizo out.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS!!! HE IS A LIAR!!
As I unfortunately had to learn, flicking the greedy female bastard off my balls would’ve been a much, much better decision.
What happened? Why am I talking about this?
BECAUSE THIS HURTS SO MUCH MORE THAN A NORMAL BITE!!!
~3:30 AM, i’m trying to fall back asleep. I didn’t notice due to the darkness, but the little demon appeared. I don’t know how the hell he got there, as I don’t sleep bbn and would’ve noticed her entering my clothes. Ignoring that, the thing bit, and it left. I didn’t notice, the naive little moron I was, and I fell asleep, unaware of the constant stress this would bring me.
11 AM. I wake up, blissful and ready to enjoy the day. I didn’t enjoy it. A few hours later, I sit down to eat.. and it begins. I brush it off, as bug bites usually don’t afflict me. Yet, it got worse, worse, yet worser (that’s technically a word). Throughout the day, I laze around like the fat little bum that I am, wasting the short time that I have on this earth. 11PM, I attempt to sleep, and am met with the first of my tortures: sleeping pillowless. As most here do, I sleep without a pillow (it’s genuinely so comfortable idk why), but that became my downfall, The position of the bite caused my swelling to become horrid when pressure wasn’t on it, so I was forced to either lay flat and endure, sleep on my side and have it worse, or sleep flat on my stomach and gain a brief respite. I chose the final option, and slept shittily.
Day 2: The trials continued.
I woke up at 12:30 (i was tired from the torture of the night) and remembered why I slept like that. It was at this point where I gave up on just thugging it out, and turned to google for assistance. I had a choice between hydrocortisone, which for multiple reasons, I avoided, and Aloe Vera, which I used. However, I forgot to factor in that I’m a moron, a cretin, perchance. I used far, far too much of it, and within minutes, I felt the burn. Thankfully, it went away, but I was scarred.
After this, I resorted to wet tissues to temporarily calm the pain, and while that helped, the pain came back worse. Sleep was harder this night, and I began to think that this wasn’t just a normal insect bite…
Day 3: It’s worse.
I woke up, 11 since I slept earlier than normal, and it was immediately worse.
I hydrated, got some sunlight, and immediately hopped on minecraft. It was a pretty good session, I got an elytra and full prot 4 mending so i’m gonna slime the owner soon cuz he opened end so fuckin early.
Anyways, the pain was BAD. Not even sitting down like a fatass could reduce the pain, and it persisted while I gamed.
After I ate lunch, I decided that soap would help more, so I used it. SOAP. DIDNT. DO. SHIT. google is a FUCKING liar.
I went to study, and I can’t fucking focus because if I don’t move every few seconds I feel like a victim of torture.
My pain is getting worse every second, so with all of this typed, I have a message to the readers of this thread.
DO NOT LET A MOSQUITO SUCK YO BALLS.
Yes, it’s a woman that is extracting your sperm, but SHIT ISNT WORTH IT.
This is like an STD, and NOBODY wants one.
Also, don’t trust fake chinese wisdom. The art of war was a good ass read, but Mr. Qui To is a fucking dumbass who is an agent of the mosquitos.
Trust nobody.
Schizo out.
