The curse of a male body

[Deleted member 21766]

I'm afraid that I'll never be able to have vaginoplasty done, which makes me want to die. I'm also afraid of dying while still having a penis, which makes me afraid to die.

I just want and need a fucking vagina, but there are lots of hoops to jump through before I can get the big surgery. I'm sick of tucking. I'm sick of erections, and I'm sick of stretching my underwear. I just want my body to be fixed.

My breasts are nice in terms of size thanks to the implants, but they still look wrong. I don't want to say exactly what the problem is, but it's a common feature of a male chest, and I curse my viking ancestors for it every day. Even my face wasn't spared fully.

Another fear I have is the fear of being remembered as a man despite the fact that I've lived as a woman since I was 19. I haven't gotten my name legally changed yet, because it's confusing, but I can't bear the thought of being deadnamed in my obituary.

 

[pentamogged9000]

tranny

 

[Deleted member 21766]

tranny

The world just seems to be becoming less and less friendly to trans people constantly. You've got anti-trans legislation being pushed, constant asinine narratives being pushed, and people refusing to try to understand what it means to be trans and how gender dysphoria is something you're born with. I've been really down the past couple of days for reasons any trans person or UK citizen would probably know.

Another day, another hate crime. Seeing the way people will talk about a 16-year-old girl who was murdered only days ago is proof that trans people not only aren't allowed peace in life, but we're also not allowed respect in death. All of the hate towards people just trying to exist and live our lives makes me hate the world.

As for the non-societal issue, which is the one that people seem to ignore the most often, my dysphoria has been up lately. Sure, I got breast implants, and that made me extremely happy. My chest dysphoria has plummeted, but the dysphoria over all of the other male aspects of my body remains unaffected.

I actually came out to a coworker last week, saying "Would you believe me if I told you that I was born a boy?" Well, she believed me. She told me that she already knew. Sure, she mentioned that she put two and two together because I said that I can't get pregnant and because I got breast implants, but that still shouldn't be the first thought that you have. She's not transphobic, but it feels so fucking invalidating to be told something like that. It comes across as if those were confirming factors after me not passing well.

I'm always gonna be extremely jealous of the girls who are able to cut ties with people from their past and live their entire lives stealth. I want to erase any record of me ever being a boy. I want to just be a normal girl. Is that so much to ask? I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and not feel a self-loathing pang of "ywnbarw" when I hear other women talk about things like sex, periods, and pregnancy. I hate having conscious reminders that I'm always gonna be biologically male.

I'll never be able to be the woman I want to be, so why do I even bother staying alive?

 

[pentamogged9000]

I'll never be able to be the woman I want to be, so why do I even bother staying alive?

they finally realised the truth jfl

 

[Deleted member 21766]

they finally realised the truth jfl

 

[pentamogged9000]

View attachment 2288105

even the anime version that doesnt look like him still looks like a guy just lol at his life

 

[New Poster]

Not the forum for this

 

[The Grinch]

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a mentally ill man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.

 

[Deleted member 26608]

You need to get your old username back, most people here think you're the kinh guy now

 

[Deleted member 21766]

You need to get your old username back, most people here think you're the kinh guy now

I can change back on the 16th