NinjaRG9
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- Joined
- Jun 9, 2025
- Posts
- 2,265
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It feels like the end of the road for me, there's absolutely nothing blossoming or left to live for. I just live day to day, jerk off, try skipping school, get annoyed by my mother. Why should I try? There's literally nothing left and I don't want anything. What I wanted initially is to be left alone by my peers but it seems they care sooo soo much about my future and whatnot I give up on my dream of being left alone, they'll never stop bothering me with stuff such as "what will you do when you're 18" "you can't just do nothing" uh yes, I literally can, why should it not be my choice? Why do you care so much about me? Did I chose to be here? No, so leave me be.
Now, if I hadn't been cursed with this face that is in my custody I'd be content even if I didn't do exactly as I wanted 100% of the time. But no, I'll never be enough, if you're not a 9/10 terrachad that is the pinnacle of perfection there will always be a certain angle or time of day where you look like nothing special and no one cares about you. I wonder daily what my life would be like if I was just enough for one day, to see how it is to have a justified existance just by being born a certain way. But in reality all that is is just that, a wonder, a dream, it'll never be my reality, I'll never be enough and neither will anyone that is not perfect. I felt the need for a relationship at some point in time, but now I realise it's simply unrealistic due to the religion my family is subject to, even if I wanted one I'd have to get my own place and pay bills and by then I'd be like 20 something years old when the norwood reaper would've already raped me (due to my balding ancestors) and I'm not getting a job, this dreams fate is sealed as well. Everything I ever wanted I'll never be able to accomplish because of things out of my control and I just jerk off all day and act like a bad kid at school to distract myself from this reality @accelerationist read pls
Now, if I hadn't been cursed with this face that is in my custody I'd be content even if I didn't do exactly as I wanted 100% of the time. But no, I'll never be enough, if you're not a 9/10 terrachad that is the pinnacle of perfection there will always be a certain angle or time of day where you look like nothing special and no one cares about you. I wonder daily what my life would be like if I was just enough for one day, to see how it is to have a justified existance just by being born a certain way. But in reality all that is is just that, a wonder, a dream, it'll never be my reality, I'll never be enough and neither will anyone that is not perfect. I felt the need for a relationship at some point in time, but now I realise it's simply unrealistic due to the religion my family is subject to, even if I wanted one I'd have to get my own place and pay bills and by then I'd be like 20 something years old when the norwood reaper would've already raped me (due to my balding ancestors) and I'm not getting a job, this dreams fate is sealed as well. Everything I ever wanted I'll never be able to accomplish because of things out of my control and I just jerk off all day and act like a bad kid at school to distract myself from this reality @accelerationist read pls