I
idontlikemyself6
I like mhself
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2025
- Posts
- 2,065
- Reputation
- 2,600
Note: These are all my writings, I spent like an hour writing this plz bump me for all my hard work and let’s discuss
This ENTIRE thing was written by myself, NO AI. Please DNR if you don't want to.
Why does hypergamy exist?
Why are there “more” “pretty” women than there are good looking men?
Why are women more emotional than men?
Why do men and women have different standards for each other?
With this thread I hope to answer these questions and provide a framework through which you can naturally deduce nearly all interaction between the sexes. I will use studies, but primarily logic and reasoning.
Basic Idea:
Humans lived as hunter-gatherers for hundreds of thousands to millions of years. While we can consider how we evolved before this, it’s largely irrelevant, as we had enough time as hunter-gathers to evolve further.
This is important because nearly ALL of our desires as humans are the instincts we evolved to have. No matter the social condition of society, no matter how much a man or woman is told to act a certain way or believe a certain thing, if it goes against our evolutionary instincts, the idea will not prevail en masse.
Since reproduction has always been the ultimate, primary goal of living, male and female reproduction strategy is ENTIRELY dependent on the context in which we evolved, and we can deduce such strategies if we know what helped a male or female best pass down their genes.
Humans as Hunter-Gatherers:
As we know, humans were hunter-gatherers for 95-99% of our existence (Ewan). In these societies men* would go out and hunt for food, primarily with sharpened weapons that looked like modern spears. Using our advanced tools and cardiovascular endurance, we were able to run after a boar, for example until it got tired and eventually gave up. The men would then drag the animal back to the cave.
Women on the other hand would spend most of their time searching for fruits on nearby bushes and trees, breastfeeding babies, and ensuring their younger kids didn’t kill themselves.
*There is a more recent belief, circling in the last 10-20 years, that women were heavily engaged in hunting. Not only do I believe these studies only exist because they were funded by feminist movements to try and find a way to paint women as strong and independent, these studies also primarily use and reference tribes that currently exist or have existed in the past 500 years. Native American tribes in 1500 AD are by no means representative of homosapien groups that evolved in Africa 300,000 years ago. I acknowledge that women could have been hunters in some smaller regard, but we find that this doesn’t exactly matter when it comes to how women’s mating strategy evolved.
How Hunter-Gatherer Societies shaped how the sexes act
It’s through this context we can determine simple truths as to why men and women act differently. Men are generally more logical and less emotional. A man ruled by his emotions and not by logic is more likely to die against a larger animal, or at least have a harder time catching it, and subsequently have less of a chance of passing down his genetics. As a result men evolved to be more logical because it best helped in hunting.
Women on the other hand, spending so much time with one another and with their children, evolved to be able to understand and relate to others emotions better. Not only did this help them determine exactly what their child most wants based on how the child is acting, but also given that community within the tribe was essential, women who could not bond emotionally with the other women were likely socially ostracized.
How Hunter-Gatherer Societies shaped what men/women are attracted to
Men
However when it comes to what men and women look for in a partner, the other big factor to consider is how long it takes for a woman to have a child. While sex takes mere minutes for a man, it has the possibility of keeping a woman from being able to have another child for 9 months.
THIS is the biggest reason hypergamy exists
Because men can theoretically have hundreds of children in nine months, while women can only have one, it is in a man’s best mating strategy to have as many children as possible (spread his seed). As far as how best to pass down his genes, it it better for the man to have a child with 10 “chopped” women, perhaps only 8 of those children make it past 1 year old because of high infant mortality rates at the time, than for him to mate with a single, beautiful woman, with a child that grows up to be Chad. Yes, the child from the hot mom is more likely to pass down his genes than each of the other 8, but as a group the 8 are more likely to pass down their genes resulting in more people.
This is also the reason men have higher testosterone. Higher testosterone males are more likely to desire sex, meaning more likely to have sex, meaning more likely to pass down genes where their male offspring also has higher testosterone. Really this is the entire reason men have high test in the first place.
This is also the reason men orgasm quickly. There is no reason for the male body to delay orgasm when it comes at no cost to him.
Combining what we know about how men reproduce and their role in a hunter-gatherer society, it is easy to understand why more of what a man seeks in his partner is physical. He is the one providing the main food source, that being the meet, and so he doesn’t need his female partner (I’ll say wife for convenience) to similarly provide. Were he, his child, or his wife to be attacked by an animal or another man, he is the physically strongest, so he doesn’t need his wife to be able to protect him. He does require her to be normal enough to raise a child, which is why even men today find a crazy woman a red flag, but he doesn’t need her to be smart, funny, or to have a good personality as none of these factors will help the child’s safety and development.
The biggest factor the man is looking for is the woman’s fertility. Is the woman fertile enough to have and nurture a child, and is her face card one that will allow the child to prosper in the climate. For example, a woman having acne is a sign she could have a disease or be naturally prone to having diseases; similarly a weak/recessed chin is more likely to get dislodged or broken in a fight. These physical factors are not optimal and therefore ensuring his wife doesn’t have such attributes is more important than ensuring his wife is funny.
This is the main reason men prioritize physical appearance so much. The health indicators a woman gives off are more important to their child’s development and chance at living than any other factor. It’s a reason bald women, or even women with short hair, are seen as so unattractive because a woman who can grow long hair is much more likely to be fertile and healthy. This is also the reason the BIGGEST factor of all that a man looks for in a woman is her age. Women are not only much more fertile when they are younger, but also being younger allows women more time to have children when they are fertile. Men will find young women most attractive regardless of their own age because a woman mentally maturing with age will not increase his offspring’s best chance at their own reproduction as much as a young woman will.
(Study showing men are always most attractied to young women)
There is another MAJOR thing men care about when it comes to what they look for, but I’ll get to it later.
Women
Since women can only get pregnant once every nine months at best, it is more important for them to get the genes of an attractive man than just any man. As a woman she also needs to be protected and provided for, as she won’t get any of the meat from the boar if she isn’t having anyone’s child. So her primary mating strategy is one where she can be both provided for and where she can get the good* genes from a hot guy.
Since a woman can only get pregnant once every nine months, she doesn’t want to carry around, and of course later raise, a baby with crappy genetics. It is far more important for her to be picky about who she has a child with, and therefore who she is willing to have sex with. It is optimal for her to mate with the Alpha** guy, considering he has the best genetics, but there arises an issue. The Alpha guy may already be providing and protecting for one or two women already; he can’t do it for this random woman as well, especially since her genes aren’t as good as the other hot women he’s already with.
As a work around, women would very often employ the dual-mating strategy. This is a strategy used by the female species of many different animals to gain the resource and protection benefits of one male, while receiving the genetic component of another male.
This was a VERY common practice used by women. In fact it’s estimated that 90% of women passed down their genes, whereas only 40% of men did (Wilder, Lippold). This is only possible if 40% of the men had 2.5 women on average to provide for, which would never work in practice. The entire reason the other 60% of men go out and hunt is so they can pass down their genes, and they wouldn’t stand for so few of the men hoarding all of the women. Similarly, the 40% of men wouldn’t be able to provide for so many women and their children. The only way this 40/90 ratio makes sense is that a woman would get impregnated by the Alpha guy, and then run to the Beta guy and have him provide and protect for her and the child. The whole time the Beta guy would think it’s his kid, when the whole time it isn’t.
This is also why men care so much about a woman’s virginity and purity. The only way, using our primitive brains, to know that a woman is having our child is if she hasn’t had sex before. The idea that a woman had sex a long time ago, and so the child a new man has with her is 100% his, is too close an idea to her cucking this new guy. We can’t use our primitive brains to distinguish these ideas the same way we can easily understand “never had sex before” = “our child”.
We also see this play out on dating sites, with how picky women are. Women swipe right on 5-10% of profiles (4), whereas men swipe right about half the time. With Tinder obviously being known for being the primary short-term dating site where a lot of people just go to hook up, it’s no surprise that women are most selective to relationships that might only involve intercouse. Again if a woman is risking getting pregnant, she will only do it if the guy is very attractive. For Hinge, a dating app known for more serious, long-term relationships, despite having a limited number of swipes, women are more willing to swipe on a larger number of men. This is likely because in our monogamous society where a woman will get the genetic material and resources from the same man (assuming a man doesn’t get ducked which still happens sometimes), women are willing to sacrifice how good looking a man is (to a certain extent), given he has his life going for him and because women likely swipe on men that are closer (note: not close, but closer) to who they could feasibly be with (their looksmatch).
When it comes to what exactly women are looking for physically, we can think about the environment we evolved in. Men that are tall have a longer reach, so they will be better at fighting (remember this is a time where no one was trained). Women with strong brow ridges will be able to tank blows to the face more easily, men with thick, low set eyebrows, long eyelashes, & good pfl eyes will be able to see better in the hot desert as less sunlight is obstructing their eyesight, and less dust will get in their eyes. A strong jawline and wide zygos will also help them withstand a fight.
(Kahbib, and most other UFC guys, has a strong brow ridge, infra-orbitals, and deep set eyes)
(Example of eyes that block sunlight and dust)
When it comes to the physique, men who have wide clavicles will have a longer reach which is ideal as mentioned, but also women find moderate muscle most attractive. This is not only because a man with absurd amounts of muscle would never exist at that time and look alien, but also because too much muscle will slow a man down in a fight and will make it harder for him to keep up with the long runs to catch prey. Some muscle is needed to help fight, but too much can be a survival hindrance.
(Best physique equipped to survive as hunter-gatherer)
When it comes to how men act, women hate a man that seems unconfident. So many of women's “red flags” online can be boiled down to a man doing something that portrays he’s either not confident, or that he makes mistakes and isn’t coordinated, such as tripping. An uncoordinated man is a sign he might not be able to fight or hunt very well.
*In this context bad genetics refer to genetics which don’t help a human survive in the environment, and good genetics do help
**For the purposes of this thread I’ll be referring to Alpha guy and Beta guy. You can imagine Alpha guy as a tall, good looking male that’s the tribe leader, he’s the physically strongest, and gets first dibs at the meat from the boar the guys bring back. The Beta guy is shorter, less good looking, not as strong, has little to no authority amongst the other males, and definitely doesn’t get first dibs at the meat.
“More” pretty women than men
This idea has existed for a long time and is often perpetuated online; there are 4 main reasons this idea exists.
(I'm sure you see stuff like this all the time)
Hypergamy
This is the main reason. Obviously when women see 80% of men as being less than average in terms of looks, they by default think there are more attractive women.
Perceptions
Since having a child with a woman is more important than making sure she’s attractive, men are more willing to have a baby with an unattractive woman. Men are also willing to have intercourse with almost any woman, so men find a lot of women attractive, which is only amplified by a later point I’ll make.
Men, being very competitive, won’t praise another guy for being attractive. Since we are competing with other men, we rarely admit another guy is good looking. It’s become more common in the last 20 years, but guys in general will usually talk down about other guys looks, unless it’s his friends.
As mentioned women already don’t find lots of guys attractive, but they also say a ton of women are attractive. Terms like “all women are 10s” and such exist for a reason. As established, women fear social ostracization, and having opinions that praise everyone is one way women are able to keep the status quo. It’s the same reason women are so unwilling to admit certain modern ideas might be bad, even if there’s overwhelming evidence. For example, women are far more accepting of illegal immigrants, even if those immigrants are proven to be a net negative in any aspect, women are scared to set the boundary that might exclude some people, and would rather endure a worse personal experience if it meant being seen as accepting of other people.
As such, women are socially incentivized to praise other women because of the social backlash that would happen otherwise. This falls apart when a woman is wronged by another woman. If woman A finds woman B sleeping with her boyfriend, even if woman B was a 10/10 and beautiful just moments ago, because woman A now doesn’t have to keep up the social lie that woman B was great, she can now openly slander woman B, such as calling her fat, chopped and a slut. Woman A knew woman B was chopped the whole time, but it was only once she had an excuse that she could speak how she really felt.
In short, women will praise other women to keep up the status quo, unless the other woman does something bad, then she might get a fair rating.
Social Expectations
The primary reason women are seen as being better looking is because more of what men care about is looks. Even if women are more picky when it comes to looks, they also care about other factors whereas men mostly don’t. As such the idea that a woman isn’t beautiful means she is completely screwed when it comes to dating, whereas a man being ugly isn’t seen as being as bad for him because he has more areas in which he can compensate for his bad looks. Due to this, any insinuation that a woman might not be attractive is a huge knock to her character. It’s therefore more okay for men and women to uphold the idea that men are more chopped than women.
The created social idea that already exists is that there are more attractive women is upheld all the time. The phrase “idk how he pulled her” is said very often, such as at weddings, and the groom usually just laughs it off. If it was said the other way around, women would be outraged, breaking the existing status quo.
It’s easier for men and women to uphold this idea so women’s egos aren’t hurt.
Makeup
Men see women with makeup so often that it becomes their new average. An average looking girl with and without makeup will, without makeup, look bad when she’s standing next to other women wearing makeup. Women see themselves without makeup all the time, but men don’t.
For example Brooke Monk* is an above average looking woman, but since men don’t see women without makeup almost at all, but see videos of her without makeup, she looks so much worse by comparison, when she would still be more attractive than most women were all women to be bare faced.
*Brooke Monk is a weird case because her flaws are able to be hidden by makeup better than most women’s flaws are, so her makeup boost is bigger than most women's. Also Sam mogs her so it’s easy to hate on her but it truly is just that we as men rarely see bare faced women, so we think without makeup that she’s mid, but relative to all bare faced women, she’s still good looking.
How we can use this framework
Say a woman says she likes “bad boys”. We can deduce that she’s referring to the Alpha guy from earlier. Perhaps this is a man who doesn’t indicate he could provide a secure future and resources, like the beta guy, but rather that he has the aspects of the Alpha guy that a woman would most want to reproduce with. He likely is physically attractive, but also he’s overly confident and brash, unbothered, and spontaneous. These are all aspects of an attractive man that doesn’t need to impress a woman in order to try and have intercourse with her, like the beta guy might try to. These are indicators that he’s an Alpha guy. Other indicators might include that a ton of women like him and want to be with him. These are all signs that the man is desired.
Note
I really have nothing against men or women. This is how men and women evolved and we act entirely based on instinct and what comes naturally. I don’t blame a woman for being hypergamous because it is in her nature, the same way I don’t blame a guy for wanting to have as much intercourse as possible, mimicking spreading his seed as best he can. I only dislike when either party is unaware of how they are acting and the consequences of their actions.
I also am surprised to how little people realize these facts and think so much of dating is a result of "societal expatations" being "pushed" on us, rather than our preferances and mating strategy being a result of how we evolved
I think using this framework helps men and women best realize how exactly they can become most attractive and leverage what advantages their sex has in the dating scene.
Sources
1. Callaway, Ewen. "Oldest Homo sapiens Fossil Claim Rewrites Our Species' History." Nature, 7 June 2017, doi:10.1038/nature.2017.22114
2. Lippold, Sebastian, et al. "Human Paternal and Maternal Demographic Histories: Insights from High-Resolution Y Chromosome and mtDNA Sequences." Investigative Genetics, vol. 5, no. 13, 2014, doi:10.1186/2041-2223-5-13
3. Wilder, Jason A., Zahra Mobasher, and Michael F. Hammer. "Genetic Evidence for Unequal Effective Population Sizes of Human Females and Males." Molecular Biology and Evolution, vol. 21, no. 11, Nov. 2004, pp. 2047–2057, doi:10.1093/molbev/msh214.
4. Gerrard, Brayden, and Kristian Elset Bø. “Why Do Women Have the Upper Hand on Tinder?” The Bold Italic, 8 Mar. 2021, www.thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder/.
5. Markus, Paw. “Hinge Statistics 2026: Users, Match Rates & Revenue.” SwipeStats, 9 Mar. 2026, www.swipestats.io/blog/hinge-statistics.
This ENTIRE thing was written by myself, NO AI. Please DNR if you don't want to.
Why does hypergamy exist?
Why are there “more” “pretty” women than there are good looking men?
Why are women more emotional than men?
Why do men and women have different standards for each other?
With this thread I hope to answer these questions and provide a framework through which you can naturally deduce nearly all interaction between the sexes. I will use studies, but primarily logic and reasoning.
Basic Idea:
Humans lived as hunter-gatherers for hundreds of thousands to millions of years. While we can consider how we evolved before this, it’s largely irrelevant, as we had enough time as hunter-gathers to evolve further.
This is important because nearly ALL of our desires as humans are the instincts we evolved to have. No matter the social condition of society, no matter how much a man or woman is told to act a certain way or believe a certain thing, if it goes against our evolutionary instincts, the idea will not prevail en masse.
Since reproduction has always been the ultimate, primary goal of living, male and female reproduction strategy is ENTIRELY dependent on the context in which we evolved, and we can deduce such strategies if we know what helped a male or female best pass down their genes.
Humans as Hunter-Gatherers:
As we know, humans were hunter-gatherers for 95-99% of our existence (Ewan). In these societies men* would go out and hunt for food, primarily with sharpened weapons that looked like modern spears. Using our advanced tools and cardiovascular endurance, we were able to run after a boar, for example until it got tired and eventually gave up. The men would then drag the animal back to the cave.
Women on the other hand would spend most of their time searching for fruits on nearby bushes and trees, breastfeeding babies, and ensuring their younger kids didn’t kill themselves.
*There is a more recent belief, circling in the last 10-20 years, that women were heavily engaged in hunting. Not only do I believe these studies only exist because they were funded by feminist movements to try and find a way to paint women as strong and independent, these studies also primarily use and reference tribes that currently exist or have existed in the past 500 years. Native American tribes in 1500 AD are by no means representative of homosapien groups that evolved in Africa 300,000 years ago. I acknowledge that women could have been hunters in some smaller regard, but we find that this doesn’t exactly matter when it comes to how women’s mating strategy evolved.
How Hunter-Gatherer Societies shaped how the sexes act
It’s through this context we can determine simple truths as to why men and women act differently. Men are generally more logical and less emotional. A man ruled by his emotions and not by logic is more likely to die against a larger animal, or at least have a harder time catching it, and subsequently have less of a chance of passing down his genetics. As a result men evolved to be more logical because it best helped in hunting.
Women on the other hand, spending so much time with one another and with their children, evolved to be able to understand and relate to others emotions better. Not only did this help them determine exactly what their child most wants based on how the child is acting, but also given that community within the tribe was essential, women who could not bond emotionally with the other women were likely socially ostracized.
How Hunter-Gatherer Societies shaped what men/women are attracted to
Men
However when it comes to what men and women look for in a partner, the other big factor to consider is how long it takes for a woman to have a child. While sex takes mere minutes for a man, it has the possibility of keeping a woman from being able to have another child for 9 months.
THIS is the biggest reason hypergamy exists
Because men can theoretically have hundreds of children in nine months, while women can only have one, it is in a man’s best mating strategy to have as many children as possible (spread his seed). As far as how best to pass down his genes, it it better for the man to have a child with 10 “chopped” women, perhaps only 8 of those children make it past 1 year old because of high infant mortality rates at the time, than for him to mate with a single, beautiful woman, with a child that grows up to be Chad. Yes, the child from the hot mom is more likely to pass down his genes than each of the other 8, but as a group the 8 are more likely to pass down their genes resulting in more people.
This is also the reason men have higher testosterone. Higher testosterone males are more likely to desire sex, meaning more likely to have sex, meaning more likely to pass down genes where their male offspring also has higher testosterone. Really this is the entire reason men have high test in the first place.
This is also the reason men orgasm quickly. There is no reason for the male body to delay orgasm when it comes at no cost to him.
Combining what we know about how men reproduce and their role in a hunter-gatherer society, it is easy to understand why more of what a man seeks in his partner is physical. He is the one providing the main food source, that being the meet, and so he doesn’t need his female partner (I’ll say wife for convenience) to similarly provide. Were he, his child, or his wife to be attacked by an animal or another man, he is the physically strongest, so he doesn’t need his wife to be able to protect him. He does require her to be normal enough to raise a child, which is why even men today find a crazy woman a red flag, but he doesn’t need her to be smart, funny, or to have a good personality as none of these factors will help the child’s safety and development.
The biggest factor the man is looking for is the woman’s fertility. Is the woman fertile enough to have and nurture a child, and is her face card one that will allow the child to prosper in the climate. For example, a woman having acne is a sign she could have a disease or be naturally prone to having diseases; similarly a weak/recessed chin is more likely to get dislodged or broken in a fight. These physical factors are not optimal and therefore ensuring his wife doesn’t have such attributes is more important than ensuring his wife is funny.
This is the main reason men prioritize physical appearance so much. The health indicators a woman gives off are more important to their child’s development and chance at living than any other factor. It’s a reason bald women, or even women with short hair, are seen as so unattractive because a woman who can grow long hair is much more likely to be fertile and healthy. This is also the reason the BIGGEST factor of all that a man looks for in a woman is her age. Women are not only much more fertile when they are younger, but also being younger allows women more time to have children when they are fertile. Men will find young women most attractive regardless of their own age because a woman mentally maturing with age will not increase his offspring’s best chance at their own reproduction as much as a young woman will.
(Study showing men are always most attractied to young women)
There is another MAJOR thing men care about when it comes to what they look for, but I’ll get to it later.
Women
Since women can only get pregnant once every nine months at best, it is more important for them to get the genes of an attractive man than just any man. As a woman she also needs to be protected and provided for, as she won’t get any of the meat from the boar if she isn’t having anyone’s child. So her primary mating strategy is one where she can be both provided for and where she can get the good* genes from a hot guy.
Since a woman can only get pregnant once every nine months, she doesn’t want to carry around, and of course later raise, a baby with crappy genetics. It is far more important for her to be picky about who she has a child with, and therefore who she is willing to have sex with. It is optimal for her to mate with the Alpha** guy, considering he has the best genetics, but there arises an issue. The Alpha guy may already be providing and protecting for one or two women already; he can’t do it for this random woman as well, especially since her genes aren’t as good as the other hot women he’s already with.
As a work around, women would very often employ the dual-mating strategy. This is a strategy used by the female species of many different animals to gain the resource and protection benefits of one male, while receiving the genetic component of another male.
This was a VERY common practice used by women. In fact it’s estimated that 90% of women passed down their genes, whereas only 40% of men did (Wilder, Lippold). This is only possible if 40% of the men had 2.5 women on average to provide for, which would never work in practice. The entire reason the other 60% of men go out and hunt is so they can pass down their genes, and they wouldn’t stand for so few of the men hoarding all of the women. Similarly, the 40% of men wouldn’t be able to provide for so many women and their children. The only way this 40/90 ratio makes sense is that a woman would get impregnated by the Alpha guy, and then run to the Beta guy and have him provide and protect for her and the child. The whole time the Beta guy would think it’s his kid, when the whole time it isn’t.
This is also why men care so much about a woman’s virginity and purity. The only way, using our primitive brains, to know that a woman is having our child is if she hasn’t had sex before. The idea that a woman had sex a long time ago, and so the child a new man has with her is 100% his, is too close an idea to her cucking this new guy. We can’t use our primitive brains to distinguish these ideas the same way we can easily understand “never had sex before” = “our child”.
We also see this play out on dating sites, with how picky women are. Women swipe right on 5-10% of profiles (4), whereas men swipe right about half the time. With Tinder obviously being known for being the primary short-term dating site where a lot of people just go to hook up, it’s no surprise that women are most selective to relationships that might only involve intercouse. Again if a woman is risking getting pregnant, she will only do it if the guy is very attractive. For Hinge, a dating app known for more serious, long-term relationships, despite having a limited number of swipes, women are more willing to swipe on a larger number of men. This is likely because in our monogamous society where a woman will get the genetic material and resources from the same man (assuming a man doesn’t get ducked which still happens sometimes), women are willing to sacrifice how good looking a man is (to a certain extent), given he has his life going for him and because women likely swipe on men that are closer (note: not close, but closer) to who they could feasibly be with (their looksmatch).
When it comes to what exactly women are looking for physically, we can think about the environment we evolved in. Men that are tall have a longer reach, so they will be better at fighting (remember this is a time where no one was trained). Women with strong brow ridges will be able to tank blows to the face more easily, men with thick, low set eyebrows, long eyelashes, & good pfl eyes will be able to see better in the hot desert as less sunlight is obstructing their eyesight, and less dust will get in their eyes. A strong jawline and wide zygos will also help them withstand a fight.
(Kahbib, and most other UFC guys, has a strong brow ridge, infra-orbitals, and deep set eyes)
(Example of eyes that block sunlight and dust)
When it comes to the physique, men who have wide clavicles will have a longer reach which is ideal as mentioned, but also women find moderate muscle most attractive. This is not only because a man with absurd amounts of muscle would never exist at that time and look alien, but also because too much muscle will slow a man down in a fight and will make it harder for him to keep up with the long runs to catch prey. Some muscle is needed to help fight, but too much can be a survival hindrance.
(Best physique equipped to survive as hunter-gatherer)
When it comes to how men act, women hate a man that seems unconfident. So many of women's “red flags” online can be boiled down to a man doing something that portrays he’s either not confident, or that he makes mistakes and isn’t coordinated, such as tripping. An uncoordinated man is a sign he might not be able to fight or hunt very well.
*In this context bad genetics refer to genetics which don’t help a human survive in the environment, and good genetics do help
**For the purposes of this thread I’ll be referring to Alpha guy and Beta guy. You can imagine Alpha guy as a tall, good looking male that’s the tribe leader, he’s the physically strongest, and gets first dibs at the meat from the boar the guys bring back. The Beta guy is shorter, less good looking, not as strong, has little to no authority amongst the other males, and definitely doesn’t get first dibs at the meat.
“More” pretty women than men
This idea has existed for a long time and is often perpetuated online; there are 4 main reasons this idea exists.
(I'm sure you see stuff like this all the time)
Hypergamy
This is the main reason. Obviously when women see 80% of men as being less than average in terms of looks, they by default think there are more attractive women.
Perceptions
Since having a child with a woman is more important than making sure she’s attractive, men are more willing to have a baby with an unattractive woman. Men are also willing to have intercourse with almost any woman, so men find a lot of women attractive, which is only amplified by a later point I’ll make.
Men, being very competitive, won’t praise another guy for being attractive. Since we are competing with other men, we rarely admit another guy is good looking. It’s become more common in the last 20 years, but guys in general will usually talk down about other guys looks, unless it’s his friends.
As mentioned women already don’t find lots of guys attractive, but they also say a ton of women are attractive. Terms like “all women are 10s” and such exist for a reason. As established, women fear social ostracization, and having opinions that praise everyone is one way women are able to keep the status quo. It’s the same reason women are so unwilling to admit certain modern ideas might be bad, even if there’s overwhelming evidence. For example, women are far more accepting of illegal immigrants, even if those immigrants are proven to be a net negative in any aspect, women are scared to set the boundary that might exclude some people, and would rather endure a worse personal experience if it meant being seen as accepting of other people.
As such, women are socially incentivized to praise other women because of the social backlash that would happen otherwise. This falls apart when a woman is wronged by another woman. If woman A finds woman B sleeping with her boyfriend, even if woman B was a 10/10 and beautiful just moments ago, because woman A now doesn’t have to keep up the social lie that woman B was great, she can now openly slander woman B, such as calling her fat, chopped and a slut. Woman A knew woman B was chopped the whole time, but it was only once she had an excuse that she could speak how she really felt.
In short, women will praise other women to keep up the status quo, unless the other woman does something bad, then she might get a fair rating.
Social Expectations
The primary reason women are seen as being better looking is because more of what men care about is looks. Even if women are more picky when it comes to looks, they also care about other factors whereas men mostly don’t. As such the idea that a woman isn’t beautiful means she is completely screwed when it comes to dating, whereas a man being ugly isn’t seen as being as bad for him because he has more areas in which he can compensate for his bad looks. Due to this, any insinuation that a woman might not be attractive is a huge knock to her character. It’s therefore more okay for men and women to uphold the idea that men are more chopped than women.
The created social idea that already exists is that there are more attractive women is upheld all the time. The phrase “idk how he pulled her” is said very often, such as at weddings, and the groom usually just laughs it off. If it was said the other way around, women would be outraged, breaking the existing status quo.
It’s easier for men and women to uphold this idea so women’s egos aren’t hurt.
Makeup
Men see women with makeup so often that it becomes their new average. An average looking girl with and without makeup will, without makeup, look bad when she’s standing next to other women wearing makeup. Women see themselves without makeup all the time, but men don’t.
For example Brooke Monk* is an above average looking woman, but since men don’t see women without makeup almost at all, but see videos of her without makeup, she looks so much worse by comparison, when she would still be more attractive than most women were all women to be bare faced.
*Brooke Monk is a weird case because her flaws are able to be hidden by makeup better than most women’s flaws are, so her makeup boost is bigger than most women's. Also Sam mogs her so it’s easy to hate on her but it truly is just that we as men rarely see bare faced women, so we think without makeup that she’s mid, but relative to all bare faced women, she’s still good looking.
How we can use this framework
Say a woman says she likes “bad boys”. We can deduce that she’s referring to the Alpha guy from earlier. Perhaps this is a man who doesn’t indicate he could provide a secure future and resources, like the beta guy, but rather that he has the aspects of the Alpha guy that a woman would most want to reproduce with. He likely is physically attractive, but also he’s overly confident and brash, unbothered, and spontaneous. These are all aspects of an attractive man that doesn’t need to impress a woman in order to try and have intercourse with her, like the beta guy might try to. These are indicators that he’s an Alpha guy. Other indicators might include that a ton of women like him and want to be with him. These are all signs that the man is desired.
Note
I really have nothing against men or women. This is how men and women evolved and we act entirely based on instinct and what comes naturally. I don’t blame a woman for being hypergamous because it is in her nature, the same way I don’t blame a guy for wanting to have as much intercourse as possible, mimicking spreading his seed as best he can. I only dislike when either party is unaware of how they are acting and the consequences of their actions.
I also am surprised to how little people realize these facts and think so much of dating is a result of "societal expatations" being "pushed" on us, rather than our preferances and mating strategy being a result of how we evolved
I think using this framework helps men and women best realize how exactly they can become most attractive and leverage what advantages their sex has in the dating scene.
Sources
1. Callaway, Ewen. "Oldest Homo sapiens Fossil Claim Rewrites Our Species' History." Nature, 7 June 2017, doi:10.1038/nature.2017.22114
2. Lippold, Sebastian, et al. "Human Paternal and Maternal Demographic Histories: Insights from High-Resolution Y Chromosome and mtDNA Sequences." Investigative Genetics, vol. 5, no. 13, 2014, doi:10.1186/2041-2223-5-13
3. Wilder, Jason A., Zahra Mobasher, and Michael F. Hammer. "Genetic Evidence for Unequal Effective Population Sizes of Human Females and Males." Molecular Biology and Evolution, vol. 21, no. 11, Nov. 2004, pp. 2047–2057, doi:10.1093/molbev/msh214.
4. Gerrard, Brayden, and Kristian Elset Bø. “Why Do Women Have the Upper Hand on Tinder?” The Bold Italic, 8 Mar. 2021, www.thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder/.
5. Markus, Paw. “Hinge Statistics 2026: Users, Match Rates & Revenue.” SwipeStats, 9 Mar. 2026, www.swipestats.io/blog/hinge-statistics.
