The fact I keep seeing the same women on dating-apps over 3+ years, time and time again.

[MoggerGaston]

Is just proof that dating is all about not having mental-illnesses from childhood/parental trauma/abuse.
These women are good-looking, just as I am good-looking. Yet we fail to create anything meaningful relationship-wise and are stuck on these dating-apps forever tbh.

I will never have a good sex-life, good social-life, a relationship, a family.
Just because my brain was destroyed in my childhood.

The amount of mental illnesses I have is unbelievable. I just mask everything, I pretend like everything is fine, I fake emotions, I fake friendships/relationships. I am an actor with nothing inside of me. Everything I do is fake.

I continue questioning my own existence because faking everything does give me the things that I want, yet none of the enjoyment. So then what is the point?

I need to let my mentall illnesses loose. Go all out with my depraved mind, release my anger.

That is the only salvation.

 

[ToryToad]

brutal,but somewhat relatable

 

[MoggerGaston]

brutal,but somewhat relatable

There's nothing I can do.

I can achieve everything when I fake my emotions to what I know people want me to feel and act like. So that I am liked and appreciated.
I think this is my power: Being able to perform under pressure to fullfill expectations and get what I -should want- from people.

I can achieve quality friendships, relationships, carreer-stuff, but despite it being good stuff objectively, my mind refuses to enjoy it.
Therefore making it just more effort, higher expectations to keep going and/or achieve even better things.

I want this life to end because there is nothing for me emotionally.

 

[MoggerGaston]

small bump of ketamine to calm the nerves works really well before the date.

then small amounts of mephedrone (not big, it will be too obvious) during the date every ~90mins or so.
literally make you NT, low-inhib, emotionally in touch and become a complete mogger

I need to take my own advice on dating. But I can't even find the interest to try even more.

I need more drugs. I want to go on LSD trips again and try DMT.

 

[nofap]

they aren’t there for the same reasons as you

They are there for validation

 

[MoggerGaston]

they aren’t there for the same reasons as you

They are there for validation

I don't even know what I am there for.

I match ugly chicks and I am like: No I don't want this. Fuck off.

Then I match looksmatched girls and I am like: I can easily get them if I fraud NT and good-life, but why go through all that effort just to know that you will get rejected when you feel down and don't have the energy to give that lion-vibe and spirit you gave her with which you made her love you with?

Then I match mogger girls and I am like: This is a girl I want to put in the effort in to fraud NT and good-life, but then the presure to keep that up is even higher than with the looksmatched girl. So it puts even more pressure on me and I would find that worth it honestly since both the looksmatched and mogger girl will dump me the moment I crash and can't put up lion-mindset, but at least with the mogger girl I felt like I was mogging myself by having a super-attractive girl into me.
But ofcourse the mogger girls I don't match often.

And then on top of that I require a very secure connection before I even feel like going on a date. I NEVER get ghosted on dates, I NEVER have shit-dates, because I select insanely harshly on women that I feel actually have potential.
I don't want shit-dates and I want a good vibe before I even go on a date.

 

[normie_joe]

Is just proof that dating is all about not having mental-illnesses from childhood/parental trauma/abuse.
These women are good-looking, just as I am good-looking. Yet we fail to create anything meaningful relationship-wise and are stuck on these dating-apps forever tbh.

I will never have a good sex-life, good social-life, a relationship, a family.
Just because my brain was destroyed in my childhood.

The amount of mental illnesses I have is unbelievable. I just mask everything, I pretend like everything is fine, I fake emotions, I fake friendships/relationships. I am an actor with nothing inside of me. Everything I do is fake.

I continue questioning my own existence because faking everything does give me the things that I want, yet none of the enjoyment. So then what is the point?

I need to let my mentall illnesses loose. Go all out with my depraved mind, release my anger.

That is the only salvation.

More oldcel ramblings please, I want a preview of what's about to come.

 

[StraightHeadJames]

nigga is sad about being chad what an asshole dumass

 

[Snicket]

Is just proof that dating is all about not having mental-illnesses from childhood/parental trauma/abuse.
These women are good-looking, just as I am good-looking. Yet we fail to create anything meaningful relationship-wise and are stuck on these dating-apps forever tbh.

I will never have a good sex-life, good social-life, a relationship, a family.
Just because my brain was destroyed in my childhood.

The amount of mental illnesses I have is unbelievable. I just mask everything, I pretend like everything is fine, I fake emotions, I fake friendships/relationships. I am an actor with nothing inside of me. Everything I do is fake.

I continue questioning my own existence because faking everything does give me the things that I want, yet none of the enjoyment. So then what is the point?

I need to let my mentall illnesses loose. Go all out with my depraved mind, release my anger.

That is the only salvation.

You are good looking and you squandered your chances.
That's ultimately on you I'm afraid.

 

[MoggerGaston]

More oldcel ramblings please, I want a preview of what's about to come.

my own prediction? ill continue to try and -slay- for the next 10 years. as I go from 29 to 39yo.

I was going to say I would use more alcohol/drugs, but I am already doing both to an extreme amount.
But I would say right now I am a high-functioning alcoholic, high-functioning drug-user, in the sense that it doesn't affect my job or my relationships (as if I have any? jfl).

but yeah. just fucking lol

its over man

its truly over

 

[MoggerGaston]

im not even trying to slay man, im looking for love but its impossible for me to find. dont you get it @normie_joe

calling it slaying is in some way degenerating, but in the other way it gives what you do value.
You get it I know you do.

But deeply down, its over

 

[MoggerGaston]

You are good looking and you squandered your chances.
That's ultimately on you I'm afraid.

what chances?
I was born with an abusive family
I was KHHV untill 23.5yo.
my chances were very limited.

and still are.

 

[Snicket]

what chances?
I was born with an abusive family
I was KHHV untill 23.5yo.
my chances were very limited.

and still are.

View attachment 3653993

Every day is a choice.
Even if there is some truth in what you say, these beliefs are self-limiting and you lose by default, forfeiting any real, albeit small chance at change.

 

[Daddy's Home]

the presure to keep that up is even higher than with the looksmatched girl. So it puts even more pressure on me

This girl in this ASMR also speaks very well about this aspect, of how even if you're down sometimes, she won't just leave you for nothing in an instant just because she thinks she can find ''more'' in someone else..



We are the ones who provide, people are dependent on us, on our work in the workplace, on our presence in the family, on our income so that family members have something to eat and won't go to bed hungry..

If the guy in the video below just decides one day that there's ''too much'' going on around him with so many kids depending on him, and he's responsible for ''too many things'' what do you think would happen to him?
What's he gonna do with his life? Where will he go? What will be the point of that?



Our parents will die soon, so will our grandparents and all the old people and all their knowledge of reality. Then it will just be us here, to figure things out, make things work, and maybe even improve them, because otherwise no one else will come here to do it for us..

 

[JohnDoe]

They aren't mentally ill like you, their pair-bonding ability has been destroyed and they just haven't figured out why they can't bond with any one.

 

[nofap]

my own prediction? ill continue to try and -slay- for the next 10 years. as I go from 29 to 39yo.

I was going to say I would use more alcohol/drugs, but I am already doing both to an extreme amount.
But I would say right now I am a high-functioning alcoholic, high-functioning drug-user, in the sense that it doesn't affect my job or my relationships (as if I have any? jfl).

but yeah. just fucking lol

its over man

its truly over

How do you even have te money to all that whilst only working parttime

I barley have any money left after working full time for 2 years and am forced to rot or look for a new job

 

[FoolYoungHi]

Very relatable. Not sure how to fix it. I faked my whole first 23 years of my life (I am now early 30s) because I was pretty much autistic looking back and felt like I wouldn't be accepted otherwise. I had a good childhood but very rough teenage years incl. family life.

Then at 23 finally said fuck it and do my own thing but funny thing is it only made my life worse being my authentic self. Since I stopped hanging out with people I didn't like. And I stopped enjoying hanging out with most people that I knew at the time. I started to just isolate 24/7

I think it's also hormonal stuff and body Chemistry not just "PTSD" from youth. There are tons of people who have insane bad youth and still have relationships and stuff and lose their virginity early. I think some people have a harder time to overcome their patterns made up in the past while others overwrite their patterns with new ones quite quickly.