The Gnat King

BigJimsWornOutTires

BigJimsWornOutTires

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Everywhere I turn, those gaddam fucking gnats. And I'm an immaculate man. But I wasn't always one...

Henbury 42, 2008 - Bridge City-Ronaville, Wismoo

I was doing my thing, drinking papa's milk. And it was the potent shit! Some folks get knocked on their butts after one sip. Ugh. It'll take a bucket to coldcock my ass. I had just lost my route with Davy's Dye Balls Snack Express. Davy discovered I was sleeping with his mother-wives. Spit, the twenty years to my senor, his prime giver was the one that initiated the love barrel. And I remember what she said as she unfastened my overalls.

"He doesn't love any of us, Big Jim! I couldn't tell you the last time he touched me. So I say the heck with him!" By that time, her hand fully embraced my toodle. Ugh. Forgive the profanity. I imagine younger ones aren't used to such foul mouth. So I'll replace that word with a more family-orientated one—my man stick. So she began stroking my man stick and hollered to the hallway vicinity to my east, "Sister-wife, come quick! I got a different man here, and you wouldn't believe what's in my hand right now!"

"Is it a man stick!" Wadney, the third-eye blonde, yelled from a room down the hallway. She manifested immediately and rushed to the thinking dome where we were. Then, quickly, she joined and got on her knees.

Ugh. It was a beautiful moment, but it didn't take long before the gnats locked in on my location. And they came swarming in, smashing through all the windows to the home for they knew I was....was.....WOP-WOP-WOP-WOP.....was.....WOP-WOP-WOP-WOP.....was....WOP-WOP-WOP....

The vortex pull had commenced. Big Jim tried staying in that world, but the power was too overwhelming for the big guy. He struggled against the gravity force as that world's memories were sucked dry from his dense dark matter conscience. A spiral of stars swirl in a vortex. He resumed but paused again, "was the-" he recognized the world had changed. "the?" he tried recalling what he was saying, but those thoughts were gone. "Ugh, fuck muffins. Back on this shithole." And so he knew he was back on shithole Earth. He smacks his upper right bicep swiftly. It was a gnat that barely escaped its finale. The insect flew away. "Those gaddam fucking gnats."

Oh, boogers, can it be? Could he have remembered that world? That gnat!

"Yeah, I remember. I'm the Gnat King."

Oh, snap. Big Jim has changed his identity again, which means-

"Nah. Fuck that shit, nigga. This cracka ain't changing. Gnat King my balls!"

And so Big Jim ridiculed his author, me. But if you think about it, we are the same. Or we not? Hmm.

And it was at that moment the author began questioning his reality. He'd thought he was creating these creepy strange autistic erotica when, in fact, he was another character titled the author. But sometimes, I wonder if I, too, be a character. Interesting...

And it was at that moment the author of the author and Big Jim were characters. And I'm not about to open my can of worms, so I'll stop right now before I begin feeling...oh shit.

It was at that moment the author of the author of the author and Big Jim were all characters in this strange clusterfuck universe called Vagina. And yet I'm suspicious there's an infinite ladder of authors behind me, but what stories they tell or narrating presently, I'm excluded from that first-person view. But is it correct to question a universe that allows us to examine it? If I were the designer of Earth's galaxy, that author, and it depressed my characters, living beings, to question what-ifs, I would've installed a block for that significantly ponder. So they never ask about the possibilities. That world would be of peace and pure joy. No one would have anything to fight about or challenge. There would be no debates, for there is no questioning—everything in bliss.

Therefore, how we question the impossibility is of deliberate invention. But what if my main character is authoring me?

Ugh. Shocka-shocka-boom-boom.
 
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Religious people are against questioning reality. But why is that? King James was of prosperous seed. Which means his intellect was limited. Like many rich people, they lack intelligence thus having a need for imaginary currency. Their minds are defective. The thinkers and geniuses that lead to products and solutions are never plucked from prosperous roots. But the rich are bandits and some are quite clever in thievery. And so they steal those products and solutions and brand them with their names. Smh.

And slow-thinkers are the easiest to set up. To lure rodents from under a house, you use cheese or bread crumbs. Products thus entrapment.

Inter - to deposit. Net - an entrapping device.
 
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I would say read every word but we both know that’d be a lie
 
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I would say read every word but we both know that’d be a lie
Only the purest minds can understand and appreciate this fodder.
 
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Only the purest minds can understand and appreciate this fodder.
I’m as pure as it gets broheim. My heart is raw and untouched by rage. My cock is clean and untouched by poon.
 
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I’m as pure as it gets broheim. My heart is raw and untouched by rage. My cock is clean and untouched by poon.
But what if I tell you we all were transported inside the sun in 2019? Because giants were closing in from Jupiter? And at this present time, they're tearing the Earth apart looking for us. So Earth's entire population transferred into the sun. But ugh, the sun's a scorching place. So perhaps, you might be feeling the heat about now, eh?
 
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I’m as pure as it gets broheim. My heart is raw and untouched by rage. My cock is clean and untouched by poon.
Leonard Nimoy Reaction GIF
 
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But what if I tell you we all were transported inside the sun in 2019? Because giants were closing in from Jupiter? And at this present time, they're tearing the Earth apart looking for us. So Earth's entire population transferred into the sun. But ugh, the sun's a scorching place. So perhaps, you might be feeling the heat about now, eh?
No no no, you got that wrong. Men are from Mars, foids are from Jupiter. So when you say giants, you mean overweight Texan pajeetas.

Also JFL @ being scared of the Sun because it gets a little hot. Just go at night bro.
 
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