larpngrey
KHHV stonecold trucel
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2026
- Posts
- 117
- Reputation
- 90
i despise the way this world has chosen to treat me. every night, my mind wanders through the same question — what sin did i commit to deserve a pain this deep, when all i ever tried to be was kind, sincere, and good enough for everyone around me? why does something as simple as speaking to a girl feel so unnatural to me, as if i was born without the language everyone else seems to understand so easily? two days ago, i was told that a girl liked me. she tried to step closer into my world, trying to build a bond with me little by little but how was i supposed to know what to do with affection, when i was raised in the absence of it? i grew up untouched by warmth, unfamiliar with tenderness, and distant from the comfort of being loved. i have never known what a real relationship feels like beyond the coldness of screens and imagination. i do not know which words are right, which actions are too much, or which silences slowly push people away. i am clumsy with emotions. awkward with affection. sometimes i look at her and feel a strange sadness, because someone like her ended up liking someone like me and when i discovered her feelings, i did not feel happiness first. instead, i wondered how long it would take before she finally realized the truth — that i am painfully boring, emotionally damaged, and incapable of being the kind of man she probably deserves. one day, she will see it clearly. she will realize that beneath all of this silence is only a socially awkward boy who never learned how to love properly. perhaps this fear was born from the girls i met online. perhaps if she had treated me gently back then, my heart would not be this ruined now. maybe i would not tremble so much at the thought of closeness. maybe i would not see love as something temporary, fragile, and destined to leave. and because of that, my heart became a graveyard filled with resentment toward my ex. some nights, the hatred inside me grows so loud that i find myself wishing she could feel even a fraction of the pain she left behind.
