dstivvy
A nobody
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2025
- Posts
- 158
- Reputation
- 255
I can’t help but think that everything that goes wrong in my life is due to me being genetically inferior. I have no friends, no social life. I push people away without even meaning to, I just say stuff that makes people not want to talk around me. Everytime someone in my school isn’t with their selected friend group and are forced to endure a conversation with me I only just vent my self hatred and feelings of weakness towards them, making them see me as an insufferable insecure person. I have no doubt in my mind if I continue down this path I will end up taking my life but I am very certain that it could be too late for me to change paths now. I wish i was a prodigy, someone who has truly exceptional skills at something, but I’m always average, below average, or poor at whatever tasks I undertake. Even writing this now the rope is calling towards me. I can’t help but wonder why I was chosen to live this life, venting in an incel forum at the young age of 15, whilst people my age would start thinking about stuff like their GCSE’s, what pathway they went to take in the future, while I rot in my room. I am truly an unlovable subhuman. My looks are shit. My personality is shit. My iq is shit. My mentality is shit. I’ll then blame it on some other external reason like my race or my genetics, which could be true but in all honesty it’s not very likely. I have two older siblings who socialised at my age and people always say that I look very similar to one of them. I can’t help but wonder why God chose me to walk this path, is it a reprimanding for those times where I was unfaithful to him, the fact that I constantly jerked of to porn and hentai, soiling my relationship with him? I can’t help but wonder how much wonderful times my classmates, the popular kids, the smart kids, and even the teachers have had all whilst I have been all alone. My only hope is ascension through reincarnation but I know even that would not change my horrible personality and I would end up being a better looking khhv. Maybe I’m still young but I feel as if my life is already over, I’m fated to be a NEET and that judgement was cast upon me by my appearance and my own horrible mistakes. Even now I can still remember all the insults that women have hurled at me, the one that hurt me the most mentally was when my oneitis called me a lizard. I still remember it to this day. I am not living in a fantasy world where I can ascend. There are things I can do to look better, yes, but if I’m not Broderick Hunter level looking good what’s the point y’know. Doomscrolling through BOTB’s reading about how people ascended makes me proud for them but sad for me as I know that will never be me. Every day I feel like a worthless tiktokcel larping incel culture because of my young age, and because of my young age I feel like even I don’t belong to even this community of mostly social outcasts like myself. I would like to just get a well paying job/legit hustle that can help pay me enough money to retire into a good home. Not anything flashy like the ones in the videos of YouTubers flexing their 8 Lamborghini cars(rented obviously jfl) but a decent house that is in the countryside. Would I be welcome in that type of neighbourhood as a thug looking black man? Definitely not. Would I care? No, not even in the slightest. As I write this I already can see the “dnr” people coming to invade this post. What can I say to that. Please fucking kill yourself
Signing off
Dstivvy
Signing off
Dstivvy
