the most brutal part about having autism

[Arrlo]

is how you will always fool yourself into thinking you have a really close "two peas in a pod" type of bond with a person, just to realise down the line to them it was just a normal friendship or they didnt even care about you.

throughout my whole life i have had a consistent experience of making a very close friendship with someone and thinking that they reciprocate the way i view the friendship

some of these friendships have ended in the person totally cutting me off or betraying me in some way or just me realising that they wouldnt put me first like i would them and its a really disheartening feeling

you have to remind yourself that "NT" people dont make or see friendships the same way, they will always value you less than people who they are in close physical proximity with, go to more parties with, or whichever option will be best for maintaing the social norm



most recent example: my best friend who i assumed i had this connection with made plans to go to the beach full well knowing that in recent months - due to my circumstances - i dont see a lot of people or even my own friends. despite this, he saved the last seat in the car for another friends girlfriend of one month who prior to them getting together hated me. they talked about the up and coming plans infront of me on the one time i got to hang out with them and told me "sorry, there was only one more seat"

at this point i have just accepted that i cant make connections normally and i will always have to suffer trying to maintain my friendships

 

[Azerik Uvon]

is how you will always fool yourself into thinking you have a really close "two peas in a pod" type of bond with a person, just to realise down the line to them it was just a normal friendship or they didnt even care about you.

throughout my whole life i have had a consistent experience of making a very close friendship with someone and thinking that they reciprocate the way i view the friendship

some of these friendships have ended in the person totally cutting me off or betraying me in some way or just me realising that they wouldnt put me first like i would them and its a really disheartening feeling

you have to remind yourself that "NT" people dont make or see friendships the same way, they will always value you less than people who they are in close physical proximity with, go to more parties with, or whichever option will be best for maintaing the social norm



most recent example: my best friend who i assumed i had this connection with made plans to go to the beach full well knowing that in recent months - due to my circumstances - i dont see a lot of people or even my own friends. despite this, he saved the last seat in the car for another friends girlfriend of one month who prior to them getting together hated me. they talked about the up and coming plans infront of me on the one time i got to hang out with them and told me "sorry, there was only one more seat"

at this point i have just accepted that i cant make connections normally and i will always have to suffer trying to maintain my friendships

this isnt really an autism issue this is desperation you need to talk to more people try and be more social u havent conditioned yourselfm to understand what a close friendship looks like cause you havent talked to enough people to have choices. Also you listed another issue ur a leach u dont invite people to fun stuff ur instead waiting on other people to offer you life. Social skills is a skill as someone whos nd stop blaming ur lack of social skills on ur neurodivergency. i mean reread this whole thing u sould lazy asf also find new friends and get some self respect

 

[Arrlo]

this isnt really an autism issue this is desperation you need to talk to more people try and be more social u havent conditioned yourselfm to understand what a close friendship looks like cause you havent talked to enough people to have choices. Also you listed another issue ur a leach u dont invite people to fun stuff ur instead waiting on other people to offer you life. Social skills is a skill as someone whos nd stop blaming ur lack of social skills on ur neurodivergency. i mean reread this whole thing u sould lazy asf also find new friends and get some self respect

this is a lot of assumptions backed by nothing

and yes it is an autism thing look it up

 

[Arrlo]

this isnt really an autism issue this is desperation you need to talk to more people try and be more social u havent conditioned yourselfm to understand what a close friendship looks like cause you havent talked to enough people to have choices. Also you listed another issue ur a leach u dont invite people to fun stuff ur instead waiting on other people to offer you life. Social skills is a skill as someone whos nd stop blaming ur lack of social skills on ur neurodivergency. i mean reread this whole thing u sould lazy asf also find new friends and get some self respect

i was friends with this guy for 3 years or more going to the gym together often, playing games and all sorts but when it comes to making a plan, the 1 month relationship is valued over my place in the trip

i dont see how that is my fault

 

[Azerik Uvon]

this is a lot of assumptions backed by nothing

and yes it is an autism thing look it up

assumptions back up by ur text so am i wrong are you super popular and invite people to fun stuff all the time?

 

[Arrlo]

assumptions back up by ur text so am i wrong are you super popular and invite people to fun stuff all the time?

i have a decent amount of friends and yes i do invite them to plans.

the difference you arent understanding is how we each view it. i misconstrude what type of friendship there is. im not saying i do nothing and expect someone to be ride or die for me, im saying i struggle to interpret the friendship due to my neurodivergency. i still put in plenty of effort and im not an uninteresting person i would say

 

[Azerik Uvon]

i have a decent amount of friends and yes i do invite them to plans.

the difference you arent understanding is how we each view it. i misconstrude what type of friendship there is. im not saying i do nothing and expect someone to be ride or die for me, im saying i struggle to interpret the friendship due to my neurodivergency. i still put in plenty of effort and im not an uninteresting person i would say

well this stuff happens all the time im sure having autism amplifies it but people are very self serving that person truly values them more than u and u misinterepeted value based on time spent which is never really true. What confuses me is why ur hung up on this if u have a robust social life some petty friend disgarding u shouldnt bother you that much. also what do u consider a decent amount of friends

 

[Arrlo]

and u misinterepeted value based on time spent which is never really true.

well done bro you are getting it, i misinterepreted something someone else wouldve understood

im hung up on it because it feels disheartening to me and making and maintaing friendships is already a struggle

im confused whether you just have a chip on your shoulder or if you are actually just retarded

im not blaming anyone or expecting more than i deserve, just venting about a personal struggle

 

[sonic55555]

is how you will always fool yourself into thinking you have a really close "two peas in a pod" type of bond with a person, just to realise down the line to them it was just a normal friendship or they didnt even care about you.

throughout my whole life i have had a consistent experience of making a very close friendship with someone and thinking that they reciprocate the way i view the friendship

some of these friendships have ended in the person totally cutting me off or betraying me in some way or just me realising that they wouldnt put me first like i would them and its a really disheartening feeling

you have to remind yourself that "NT" people dont make or see friendships the same way, they will always value you less than people who they are in close physical proximity with, go to more parties with, or whichever option will be best for maintaing the social norm



most recent example: my best friend who i assumed i had this connection with made plans to go to the beach full well knowing that in recent months - due to my circumstances - i dont see a lot of people or even my own friends. despite this, he saved the last seat in the car for another friends girlfriend of one month who prior to them getting together hated me. they talked about the up and coming plans infront of me on the one time i got to hang out with them and told me "sorry, there was only one more seat"

at this point i have just accepted that i cant make connections normally and i will always have to suffer trying to maintain my friendships

friendships arent that deep

friendships are basically just something to occassionally starve off boredom with
its not like in the movies

 

[Arrlo]

friendships arent that deep

friendships are basically just something to occassionally starve off boredom with
its not like in the movies

yeah, i think i held onto that delusion for a long time

 

[Azerik Uvon]

well done bro you are getting it, i misinterepreted something someone else wouldve understood

im hung up on it because it feels disheartening to me and making and maintaing friendships is already a struggle

im confused whether you just have a chip on your shoulder or if you are actually just retarded

im not blaming anyone or expecting more than i deserve, just venting about a personal struggle

nigga read the next of this text ur whole post is just aww my life so sad i dont want advice just cuddle me like a kitten what u doing is learned helplessness i have autism to and if u could believe it i dont blame my social falos on my nd

 

[Azerik Uvon]

friendships arent that deep

friendships are basically just something to occassionally starve off boredom with
its not like in the movies

this parts deff true

 

[Arrlo]

nigga read the next of this text ur whole post is just aww my life so sad i dont want advice just cuddle me like a kitten what u doing is learned helplessness i have autism to and if u could believe it i dont blame my social falos on my nd

nigger you didnt come here to give advice you came here to call me a leech

 

[bone]

are you diagnosed

 

[Arrlo]

are you diagnosed

yes i am dont worry

 

[Azerik Uvon]

nigger you didnt come here to give advice you came here to call me a leech

holy fuck dude read i act want the best for u im not trying to be an asshole but u have to be more self critical admit if u genuily cant recognize how u can do better without blaming ur nd or how shallow other people are ur retarted the worlds shallow u would do the same thing

 

[bone]

yes i am dont worry

aspies can learn how to socialize with practice tbh most of what ur saying seems like learned helplessness

 

[bone]

yeah, i think i held onto that delusion for a long time

it's not a delusion lol his post is fully cope

friendships have been deep bonds for the majority of human history, maybe these days people treat them more like what he described but that doesn't mean our social needs are met by having only those surface level relationships w ppl